This sounds like an ATMB topic. I don’t think I’ve seen prostitution enforced under that guideline (versus, say, pot or VPN usage).
He recently got me thinking Acey was an okay fella by comparison. Troutman had to save me from myself. I won’t be missing Sammy at all.
I have never, ever heard the term “whoremonger” used for the customers of the prostitute. I *have *heard (read) it used as a description of the purveyor of same.
Learned something new, but I really want to see it out in the wild.
The Straight Dope: where’s it’s forbidden to talk about medical marijuana, but totes okay to talk about underage hookers.
Is it forbidden to talk about medical marijuana?
Personally, I find it strange that any talk about VPNs, a legitimate topic for at least 5 years, still is off-limits, but frequenting underage prostitutes in a foreign country is still okay.
The core of the problem lies when such talk devolves into marijuana in general, which comes too close to the advocacy of breaking the law.
Medical marijuana is, in fact, illegal in the state of Illinois (where this board is based), because it is illegal everywhere in the United States. There are some places where it’s not against state law (I don’t know off the top of my head whether Illinois is one such place), but it’s still against federal law.
If you want to say that we should change the federal law, that’s a valid thread topic here. If you want to say that we should violate the federal law, that’s not allowed here.
There are many topics about people smoking weed. They don’t ever get warnings.
Wait, really? Is there a list of forbidden topics? I don’t want to get in trouble for bringing up beepers.
Whoa. . . suspended? This in no way at all affects the contest of “When Will SamuelA Be Banned?” All you have to do is post a prediction. To open the playing field, I’m modifying my guess to August 18th. To enter: all you have to do is predict the date this troll will be permanently banned. The prize: a bag of Cheetos!
Well, a few folks have asked me for the rules to the contest. After running it through the TripCo® Legal Department, we’ve established the legalese. I promise this is far less dumber, but far more entertaining than reading one of his posts . . .
[sub]
The contest you are entering involves wagering a date (or dates) of the Straight Dope Message Board (SDMB) ™ banning the user account of one, SamuelA, with the prize being awarded of one 8 ounce bag of Cheetos (any flavor or variety). Prize will be awarded by the announcement of the user account banning by the date/time of the post announcing that banning. The contest host, Tripler is in no way connected with the moderation of the SDMB™, and is a participant in the contest.
Contest Eligibility
This contest is open to legal residents of the Planet Earth, not including SamuelA, who are at least seven (7) years of age at the time of entry. No purchase is necessary to enter. Making a purchase will not increase your chances of winning. This contest is void above the Kármán Line, between the space of SamuelA’s ears, and where prohibited by law. Hands-free operation (i.e. no mobile telephone use during operation) of vehicles and heavy equipment is required because safety is paramount. Employees, officers, and moderators of the SDMB, their respective partners, agencies, related companies, and agents, as well as the immediate family (defined as parents, spouse, children, siblings, and grandparents), and same household members of such employee, officer, and director, are not eligible to enter. It’s kinda “iffy” if applicable federal state, Tribal, and local laws and regulations apply. In other words, 'Do not pass “Go,” and do not collect $200;" have a Cheeto.
Contest Entry
This specific contest entry requirements involve only posting a guess as to when SamuelA will be banned. All entries must be made in conformance with the relevant contest’s requirements. One entry per Doper, but it’s on a first-come, first-served basis. You can change your date entry at any time, so long as it’s open. Non-conforming entries will be rejected and ineligible for contest prizes. Any entrant using fraudulent means to participate and/or win the contest will be disqualified. Buckle up, because it’s the law. Any attempt by an entrant to undermine the legitimate operation of the context may be a violation of criminal and civil laws, and this includes you, SamuelA. Tripler reserves the right, in his sole discretion, to cancel, modify, terminate, or suspend a particular flavor of Cheetos for any reason and without prior notice. In such case, Tripler may, as appropriate under the circumstances, select a contest winner via reasonable means consistent with the specific contest. Why? Because of course he fucking can.
Winner Selection and Notification
The odds of winning are pretty fuckin’ good. The winning entry or entries for a contest will be selected in compliance with the terms of the specific contest. Tripler will contact contest winners by posting in the thread to confirm a winning entry.
The potential contest winner will forfeit the prize if he/she (1) does not respond to the initial notification email or return any required information within a 30 business days, (2) cannot be contacted through the SDMB, (3) rejects the prize or the prize is returned as undeliverable, (4) is a sock of SamuelA 'cause Lord know’s he’s probably got one, (5) claims that those members of LesserWrong “might actually be on to something. . .”, or (6) is disqualified for any reason. In the event of prize forfeiture, an alternate winner will be selected.
Winners are solely responsible for all intergalactic, federal, Tribal, state, Provincial and local taxes and all unspecified expenses or fees associated with prize acceptance, receipt, and use. Winners are solely responsible for providing their own napkins during consumption of the Prize. Prizes could be substituted or transferred by any contest winner for any convincing reason, and a winner may receive cash redemption equal to the value of the prize in lieu of the prize. Tripler reserves the right to substitute alternate prizes of equal or comparable value, but probably won’t because hey, how cool would it be to have a box with a bag of Cheetos arrive on your doorstep? Prizes are offered “as is” with no written, express, or implied warranty, including but not limited to, quality, condition, merchantability, or fitness for a particular purpose. Tripler is not responsible for replacing prizes as a result of damage prior to, during, or after shipping or events beyond his control, including Acts of God, Acts of Dog, rebellion, insurrection, faulty engineering design or contractor workmanship on both Death Stars, or Acts of God’s Dog. Winners must look to the manufacturer or service provider for any potential warranties or guarantees. Your mileage may vary, and remember, only you can prevent Forest Fires.
Release
By entering a contest and, if applicable, receipt of any prize, each entrant and, as applicable, winner agrees to release and hold harmless Tripler, the SDMB and its officers, directors, employees, and agents from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in a contest or any contest-related activity, or from the receipt or use or misuse of any prize, including claims or causes of action related to alleged damage to an entrant’s computer or electronic systems from downloading or using any material from the SDMB website, regardless of whether the material is connected to the SDMB website by a hyperlink text. This paragraph shouldn’t need to be here, because we’re not going that fucking deep into details, but hey, the TripCo © Legal Department recommended it. And if your that goddamned fragile of an ego to raise a claim for losing this contest, then SamuelA, you shouldn’t haven’t participated in the first place.
Disputes, Choice of Law, and Venue
Except where prohibited by law, entrants agree: (1) any and all disputes, claims, and causes of action arising out of or connected with a contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action, via mutual combat with picked herrings as refereed exclusively by SDMB moderators (2) any and all claims, judgments, and awards shall be limited to actual out-of-pocket costs incurred, but in no event will attorneys’ fees be awarded; if you need a lawyer for some motherfuckin’ Cheetos, you’re doing it wrong; (3) no punitive, incidental, special, consequential, or other damages, including without limitation lost profits, may be awarded (collectively, “Special Damages”); and (4) entrants hereby waive all rights to claim Special Damages and all rights to have such damages multiplied, increased, derived, integrated, or otherwise fast Fourier transformed. Snacky law governs this contests and all aspects related thereto, including the construction, validity, interpretation, and enforceability of these Official Rules. By entering a contest, entrants agree to submit to the personal and exclusive jurisdiction of the Courts of Public Opinion, Esteem, and Ridicule, located in the Electronic Ether of the Internet.
Use of Collected Data
Tripler might—just might–collect personal data about entrants for purposes of administering prizes, if you’re really hard pressed for a bag ‘o’ Cheetos. By entering into this contest, entrants agree that Tripler will PM you for a mailing address should you win. Tripler does not, and will not, disclose entrants’ personal information to non-affiliated third-parties. Besides, the party will be at your place with your fresh, new bag of Cheetos.
Oredigger77, did you have a specific date in mind?
Tripler
Keepin’ it leeeeegal, yo.
Anyone asking where to buy weed will, at best, likely return to find that thread closed.
I find the lack of language regarding Starkiller Base to be… troubling.
Regardless! I’ll join and put as my entry… July 29th.
Yes, he will be suspended. But he’ll “just” create a sock which will be so obvious even I will notice.
July 29th. You read it here first.
SamuelB? 
Let’s send off this thread’s guest of honor with song, before this thread gets locked when he’s banned. I didn’t write a parody for all of the verses of the song I’m parodying. Feel free to continue.
One ho over there in the Ukraine
One ho in Ukraine
Bareback in a fancy bordello
One ho in Ukraine
Waitin’ for the plane that goes there, hottie.
Hopin’ that the plane is on time
Bareback in a sketchy bordello
One ho in Ukraine
Whoooo do you fuck, I hope it’s me
I’ve bin bareback’n’, as you can plainly see
I felt the burn and I learned about the pain that my momma said
If I should choose no protection, why, I would sure ly get infected
Now I’ve one more strain in me, sweet Jesus
‘Cause one ho in Ukraine
Bareback in that ol’ bordello
Kid ho in Ukraine
I’m waitin’ for the pain to go away, hottie
Hopin that clap is treatable
Gettin’ penecillin in free clinics
Kid ho in Ukraine
I paid for sex in the Ukraine
Now I’m getting a ream and scream and no biggie
I paid all the girls and loved myself, you knew
And to my surprise
Like all the other hos I’ve screwed and screwed
It opened up my eyes and now I’m
Takin’ one burning piss, Jesus
Kid hos in Ukraine
Gettin’ my junk fixed the free STD clinic
Kids (maybe), Ukraine, Pain!
One ho in the Ukraine
Chronos, with all respect, that is just totally ridiculous. First of all, in terms of legal standing to actually engage in commerce with cannabis, medical cannabis is legal in 33 states, 4 out of 5 US territories, and DC, and is protected from federal interference by the Rohrabacher-Farr amendment (2001). Recreational use is legal in 11 states; in Illinois, medical use is permitted and recreational use will become legal January 1 next year.
But even the strictest interpretation of the absurd Schedule 1 classification under federal law doesn’t prohibit discussion of pros and cons and people’s opinions about various aspects of it. I can see some caution applied to issues like “where can I get some?”, but not general conversation about something that is becoming so widely accepted, and will be fully legal even for recreational use in the SDMB’s home state in January.
Back to the normal course of the thread. . .
If he’s overseas multiple times for 10 days each, how is he able to keep a job?
Tripler
Current list: Tripler (8/18); JohnT (7/29)
It works quite well if either the job or the whore-banging is imaginary, or both.
P.S.- If anyone thinks I’m a jerk for continuing to bash Sammy after he was suspended (and I did cancel my earlier post after I found out, just to be nice) I suggest reading the article I cited earlier in ATMB. I read that article in more detail, and I had not realized that prostitution and sex trafficking was such a huge systemic problem in the Ukraine, bigger than in any other eastern European country, in addition to how big the forced child prostitution part of it is. The stuff that SamuelA openly brags about is quite frankly one of the most debased soulless exploitations of defenseless victims that I have yet seen on this board. I hope to God that he was just making it up.
I think you’re spot on. . . the attention whore brought it on himself.
Ok, this all make much more sense if you’re saving saving up all of you annual vacation for the 10 days per year you get laid.
Do you know the old joke about 12 packs of condoms being for married guys? I never thought someone could be jealous of the married guy in that joke.
Well, this is bullshit. The contest, if it’s to be fair, should be framed as follows: It should NOT be open to the contest judges, nor to any other individuals associated with the contest, including the employees, agents or representatives of the SDMB (including its respective divisions, subsidiaries, affiliates and advertising or promotional agencies) and suppliers providing prizes or other materials or services in connection with this contest (collectively, the “Excluded Individuals”). This contest must also not be open to the immediate family members of the Excluded Individuals, and all other persons with whom the Excluded Individuals reside, nor previous prize winners (including anyone from winner’s household) who have won a prize valued at the cost of an 8-oz bag of Cheetos or greater in the preceding thirty (30) day period prior to the commencement of another contest. Any diseased whores that SamuelA is banging are also excluded.
Your contest is a farce, my friend, a veritable pair of loaded dice, a marked deck of cards, or in short, a scam in which you will inevitably find a reason to keep the bag of Cheetos for yourself. I suspect you will likely do it by the trivially simple means of goading the simpleton SamuelA into getting himself banned at exactly the right time to conform with your bet.
Now hol’ yer horses there, pard’ner. . . I’m a host, not a “judge.” And this more along the lines of a “pool,” than a “drawing.” Besides, he’s been suspended for 30 days, which doesn’t allow him time to shoot himself in the foot again, but does allow us time to populate the pool entries. Adding to that, I don’t have access to the double-secret-probation moderator forums* where they gather the Cabal and divinate their decisions amongst the Ephors.
No, my goal was to “just” orchestrate 4.238 Justs of nanobots into a “Stacy” fembot to take control of the closest moderator to influence his/her decision. Besides, the Cheetos are on sale, and I earn a fair wage; what makes you think I won’t buy a second bag for myself anyway? But yeah, I did goad him several times into shenanigannery, didn’t I? 
Tripler
I agree; he is a simpleton.