Without going into a long diatribe, here is my situation, I have a pre-teen daughter who will be going back to school soon. She is a big girl, she is tall and still has some baby fat, but is by no means obese. In other words, a normal size person. And of course all her favorite stores which cater to the “junior” are filled with tiny expensive sleazy rags. Store after store after store, which all cater, apparently, to hookers, bulemics, and lunchchuckers. Right now my normal size girl can just about fit comfortably into some of the shirts and sweaters, but she is still growing. Now, what is she supposed to do when this happens? Where can she get stylish clothing when the sizes end at size 12? I repeat, she is not fat, she is just big. I’m really getting worried, not just because of the back to school thing, but she is almost in tears at time and says, “I’m fat, I’m fat”. Why do all the stick insects own all the stores, and where are the normal size people supposed to shop if they want to be “in style”? Frankly I’m at my wit’s end over this, I can talk to her till I’m blue in the face over how she is not ugly and fat, and that appearances don’t matter, that the kind of clothes you wear don’t prove anything, yada yada yada. We still need clothing that fits! Any suggestions?
Try Lane Bryant or Roaman’s (catalog). They have high-sized clothes that don’t look like “fat” clothes. Their sizes range from 12 on up.
salinqmind, I sympathize. I’ve looked at what teens are wearing and it is appalling. (Lordy, I sound like a cranky old witch.) Looking at the belly-baring tank tops recently, though, I was reminded that I undulated around in halter tops as a teen and preteen. Also, back to my own childhood, I remember not fitting into a lot of clothes when I was 12 or 13. I wasn’t even particularly tall, not chubby in the least, but I wasn’t slender.
The only suggestion I have (my daughter is only 5 so I haven’t BTDT yet) is Land’s End. I order things for myself from them, and the kids clothing always appears modest. And I know it’s well made and they seem to go to a great deal of trouble to assure you it’ll fit (my swimsuit sure does!).
Good luck!
Ellen
I suggest going to an upscale department store like Nordstrom or Saks Fifth Ave. It might be scary, but the truth is that great bargains can be found if you take the time to look and dig. The clothes are well made and will last for years.
The women’s department features clothes that are simple, classic yet stylish and come in a very wide range of sizes. A lot of women who shop there like to dress in younger trends (but not trash) and I’m sure your daughter will find things she likes that fit and make her feel great.
Let me demonstrate: At Nordstrom last week, I found a really hip paisley chiffon dress (size 14) for $60, a pair of snake skin loafers for $60 and a black linen shirt (size a genuine Large) on sale for $35.
The following won’t solve your clothing dilemma, but it might help with your daughter’s self-esteem.
When you look back at the famous sex-bomb women who have been lusted over by men during the last century, you’ll notice that many of them were not stick insects. They had big breasts, well rounded hips and ample backsides. I’m talking here about women like Marilyn Monroe, Mae West, Jame Russell, Samantha Foxx, even Elle macpherson has a decent set of boobs.
Tell her that what her friends think is immaterial, because once she discovers what boys like, she’ll be as ogled as much as the rest if she has the lumps in the right places.
It never ceases to amaze me that the fashion industry has not woken up to this simple fact of biology yet. You can have all you undernourished bimbos - give me a woman built for comfort any day!
Should be plenty of online clothes stores you could find just what you need. I think you use the Net keyword thingy & type in the location box: shop clothes
Probably should stay out of this since I’m a fashion (and otherwise) clueless dad. My daughter is 12 1/2. She is on the tall side, and extremely fit. She has commented more than once that she is heavier than all the other girls in her class. We have had to point out that she is also taller and has more muscle defintition than most of them. But it really is scary how early little girls get thinking about body image.
A. doesn’t like most of the clothes for sale because she feels they are too revealing. (She even declined to buy a Mariah Carey CD cause she didn’t like the cover photo! Don’t know how I managed to raise such a prude! Now I have to go out and check out that CD!) She also places an emphasis on being comfortable. So she simply prefers loose fit jeans over the tight ones that are in style. We have found some good quality, reasonably priced basics such as jeans at Old Navy. She also won’t wear any of the short shorts currently in vogue. REI, Land’s End, and other “outfitters” are a god source for comfortable, well made clothes that still are somewhat stylish. And we simply stress that her clothes should be clean and well maintained, and should fit and match.
The other option is for your daughter to develop her own style. One of A’s better friends is on the large side (again, definitely not fat, but not reed thin). And she wears some of the most outlandish getups I’ve ever seen. And none of the kids question it. Takes some cahones (or the female equivalent) to pull it off, but it really gets my respect.
Don’t think there is an easy answer if your kid wants to wear the same clothes as the “populars”, but doesn’t have the body style to carry it off. Too bad she has to deal with this at such an early age.
Slightly flippant but… oh well.
Suggest she become a raver or a skater. While many raver girls wear skimpy clothes, many can wear big bulky stuff and still look cool. If she becomes a skater she can wear bulky sweatshirts and pants and seek normal.
salinqmind, you mean a girls’ size 12, not a women’s size 12, yes? (That’s what my daughter wears; she is about to turn 11.)
I like the quality at Old Navy, and I’m pretty sure they go up to a size 16. They have things that are stylish without being overly sleazy, and you can count on them to last. Also, I got the Land’s End catalog today. Their stuff is very good quality. They don’t ever offer anything really trendy, but they have the twin sets and capris that are currently popular if she wants to do the “stylish, yet classic” look.
I must add that my wife would absolutely die if she heard I was giving anything like fashion or shopping advice!
I second (or maybe third) catalog shopping. Land’s End and L.L. Bean have good-looking clothes that are reasonably fashionable. (They try to keep up with at least the most popular trends.) There are lots of choices and you can shop at home.
They are also good because they offer more options for people with different body types. For example, they don’t assume that everyone who is a size 12 is the same height. Land’s End is also a great source for swimsuits and they have good sales on discontinued items.
ROFL! I’m sorry, but you consider that a bargain?!?! If you have the time to “dig” as you say, why not go to a thrift store? I find a lot of really nice things that people wear once and get rid of, or decide they don’t like and give away with the tags still on. You might have some luck finding some “retro” type stuff which is always fashionable, and if it is ACTUAL retro stuff, the sizes will be a lot more “normal” than what’s being sold “theseadays.” Other than that, I find a lot of nice Eddie Bauer/Lands End type stuff for just a few dollars, and since it wears well to begin with, it won’t look any worse than anything else she already has in her closet, prolly.
Oldscratch, exactly what I was thinking. You can buy raver pants now for her that are just the right fit around the waist but amazingly wide. This means taht these panta will last for quite a while. One site I really suggest is http://www.hottopic.com. You might find just what you were looking for.
exactly red_dragon60. Of course we don’t know what the daughter is in to. This could be some kind of drastic lifestyle change. I mean for all we know she’s into Country music. She would have to change her friends and everything. But, there are worse things to be than a raver or a skater.
This is a bit off-topic, but how come the kids in all the Back-to-School ads now have an attitude. Look at your next newspaper circular and you’ll see what I mean. The model kids are now often frowning or even sneering. Is this any way to sell clothes?? Isn’t it still the parents who are buying them? I’m confused. Is surly “in”?
Sorry, Vogue, sometimes I forget the whole board doesn’t live in NYC where $60 for a dress is cheap as hell. But I don’t think my suggestion was bad - if you want to look good, usually you’ve got to pay for it.
Thrift store? ROFL - the thrift stores here are super expensive and the inventory has been picked through 500 times. Plus, it wasn’t until I was in high school that it was cool to go to a thrift store - do you think a 12 year old is going to be enthusiastic about sifting through tons of gross, stinky clothes? HA!
Land’s End and Eddie Bauer is okay, but I remember wanting an individual style when I was that age. It’s cool to have clothes that no one else has.
I loved the skater suggestion! Bravo, oldscratch!
My 15-yr-old daughter recommends that you go to the anchor stores in your local mall and check out the Junior departments.
She says they’re inexpensive, mostly tasteful, and have a variety of sizes. Specialty shops probably cater more to the “stick insects” you alluded to.
You didn’t tell us where you’ve looked already, but department stores may have a larger selection of styles/sizes.
Good luck.