Teenagers, and why they should be euthanized (vent)

[OtakuLoki]

@aruvqan

<evil grin>

Dont know about that, my aging international scout [1979] with its 345 v8 when properly tuned could blow the doors off a porche on an uphill start…something about an engine sized for a small school bus in a rather small utility vehicle [nothing sporty about a scout] managed to make a fairly zippy vehicle. Drove one idiot officer stationed in Groton insane, he spent several thousand $US a year on insurance, and my scout cost me about $300US a year to insure, and I could always blow his doors off…I really need to get it reregistered…

I think there’s something about Porsches and uphill starts. I had someone challenge me in my '77 Dodge Aspen Wagon, with a 312 V-8 to the top of a moderate hill in Worcester. He was pissed when I beat him there.

[Nightwatch_Trailer]

laigle…I think that may have been the closest a post has come to making me laugh out loud.

I drive a Mustang. This has certain disadvantages. Chief among them is the fact that every poser with anime hair carrying fifty pounds of face piercings in their decal-powered Honda Civic wants to drag race me.

Sublime.

Speaking as a teenager, I salute you for humiliating them, sir!

[andros]

@SPOOFE

You’d have a point, Andros, if the OP had approached them, flashed his bling-bling, and yelled, “Yo, nigga, let’s shizzle the asphalt, beyatchnatchens!”

Pffft. I have a point regardless. If ya got a big dick, ya got a big dick. Ya don’t have to whip it out to know ya got it.
Really, it’s just jealousy. I don’t have a badass ride or know everything there is to know about fast cars. I feel inadequate when faced with someone like laigle. Which I’m sure doesn’t ruin his day.

[buttonjockey308]

See, now I know a little bit about tuners, and import speed, and a fair amount about American muscle cars, and I prefer good old fashioned balls-out speed to something so finely tuned that a slight change in altitude severely effects performance.

laigle, ya done good. don’t care who disagrees. Teaching the little shits a lesson is the only way they’re going to learn one.

And FWIW, I’m sick of these little idiot white kids trying to make themselves out to be ghetto toughs. Drop a handful of these pampered little suburban bastards in Altgeld Gardens (a fairly rough chicago neighborhood) some languid August night, and let the fun ensue, i say. Or drink mead from their empty skulls, y’know either way.

[CanvasShoes]

Plus (imho) classic muscle cars just look so much better. Mustangs are a nice representative of American muscle cars. And the owners have GOT to have some huge arms, those things are hard driving and hard riding little cars. At least the ones I’ve known.

[SPOOFE]

Really, it’s just jealousy. I don’t have a badass ride or know everything there is to know about fast cars. I feel inadequate when faced with someone like laigle. Which I’m sure doesn’t ruin his day.

Sure, man. That big dick must be taking all the blood away from your brain, 'cuz you sure read a completely different OP than I did.

[andros]

Umm . . . huh? I don’t have a big dick, and I don’t have a nice car, nor do I know anything about them. Didn’t I just get through saying that?

[duffer]

@Airman Doors

Just thank your lucky stars that they didn’t have a Type-R sticker on the car, because that would have made you quake in your boots.

The Type-R stickers are only updates from the Bad Boy Club stickers. They’re the same assholes.

[Eleusis]

@SPOOFE

You’d have a point, Andros, if the OP had approached them, flashed his bling-bling, and yelled, “Yo, nigga, let’s shizzle the asphalt, beyatchnatchens!”

That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read in my life!!!

Well not really, but it was pretty funny.

[lee]

A ricer and his friend pulled up next to me and was revving his engine, with the bumble bee muffler, at the stop light. I laughed, accellerated whent he light changed and easily passed him as he desparately tried to get up to the speed limit. I thought his bumbe bee would have a heart attack

I was driving a 1995 Saturn SL-1.

You don’t need mustang to beat these people, you just need an actual car.

[Tripler]

@lee

You don’t need mustang to beat these people, you just need an actual car.

So, if some ricer ‘revs their engine’ at me and screeches off into the snowy morning, should I feel bad when I see them two miles later, when they’ve plowed into a snowbank or run into a snowy sluice?

. . . 'cause I won’t. Especially when one of 'em flags me down for a pull out of the snow after said ‘revving of the engine’.

Tripler
FTR: I drive a Ford F-150, 4X4, 7700# pickup truck with a heavier chassis/tow package.

[Exgineer]

What Tripler said.

I’m driving a fargin’ pickup truck here, kid. I’m sure you think the useless spoiler, spinners, and racing decals, not to mention the ridiculous oilcan exhaust tip, have turned your little Civic into an unbeatable racing machine, but don’t assume I care.

I’m 36 years old and I’m just trying to get where I’m going in one piece. I have no interest in racing.

If I did I wouldn’t be driving a truck.

[Hamadryad]

My 1974 Dodge Monaco could outrun anything on the road back in 1988. I used to enjoy blowing past people’s sports cars on the freeway.

Right up until I was running a friend home from band practice and the drive shaft fell off.

[Dog80]

@laigle

…decal-powered Honda Civic

@Airman Doors

Just thank your lucky stars that they didn’t have a Type-R sticker on the car, because that would have made you quake in your boots.

Decal powered Honda Civic? You guys are either ignorant, or you all drive Ferraris. A Civic Type-R has 200 hp and can do 0-62mph in 6.6 seconds Cite.

[andros]

No shit.

But the vast majority of “Type-R” s aren’t really Type-Rs. They’re stock with extra stickers generously added to make people think they’re Type-Rs.

Thus, the “decal powered” line.

[badmana]

@Dog80

Decal powered Honda Civic? You guys are either ignorant, or you all drive Ferraris. A Civic Type-R has 200 hp and can do 0-62mph in 6.6 seconds Cite.

And AFAIK isn’t sold in North America.

[Skywatcher]

@Dog80

Decal powered Honda Civic? You guys are either ignorant, or you all drive Ferraris. A Civic Type-R has 200 hp and can do 0-62mph in 6.6 seconds Cite.

Yeah, but they also come with front & rear Type-R badges. No need for any aftermarket stickers like what’s on ths thing, which is what those guys were referring to.

@Brutus

Ricers will put said stickers on their cars, along with other purely cosmetic modifications, rather than actually do anything to the engine or whatnot. All show, no go.

There’s someone in our complex who evidently wants everyone to believe that his Civic Si, complete with Type-R and VTEC stickers, was really made by Acura.

[Archergal]

@laigle

So, I can now say without a doubt the putzii in question know what “pimpin wheels” are. I can say this, because I slowly pulled through, waited for them to “take off,” then lit off my 302 V8 and saw them just vanishing in the distance through my mirror as I pulled into my apartment a mile down the road. Still not as good a feeling as drinking mead from their empty skulls, but it’s a start (bolding added).

This is the best line I’ve read all day.

[Merijeek]

@Mr. Blue Sky

A similar thing happened to me last summer. I was approaching an intersection where the light was red. There was a Mustang sitting at the light. I was slowing slow preparing to stop, when the light turned green. I zipped past the Mustang (well, if 25mph can be considered zipping) and the owner of the Mustang apparently took this as a challenge and opened his car up and sailed past me while he and his passenger stuck out their toungues and flashed the “Ozzy” salute and nodded their heads.

This would have been impressive had I not been driving a 94 Escort station wagon.

I owned a 92 Escort Hatchback. I’ve never hated anything more than that heap of shit.

Anyways, I’ve got to ask something here…

The whole “Ozzy” sign, calling people “G”, things like “What up, bitch” and, “You got Srrved!” thing. I just don’t get it.

I mean, hell, I do some of those things, but they’re always a joke. I mean, 100%, always, toujours.

Are there people who actually take that kind of shit seriously? I’d call a friend “G” (and I do, every morning when I see him at work), but I wouldn’t call a stranger that because, well, it’s so assinine I couldn’t see the word/guesture being used if I was trying to be taken seriously…

-Joe, FREE TIBET! No, wait, ROCK AND ROLL! No, wait, KISS RULES!!! (air guitar)

[congodwarf]

@OtakuLoki

I think there’s something about Porsches and uphill starts. I had someone challenge me in my '77 Dodge Aspen Wagon, with a 312 V-8 to the top of a moderate hill in Worcester. He was pissed when I beat him there.

You found a moderate hill in Worcester? I would have loved to have seen that. I have never seen ANY car go quickly up a Worcester hill.