I have no idea why my whole post was bolded. I haven’t figured out how to do it when I WANT to!
Looks like you had 3 {b}'s for 2 {/b}'s, so the bolding didn’t cancel out.
Square brackets, of course.
the OP is hilarious, what with the 
and all.
My ploy:
Telemarketer: hi…blah blah blah blah
me: no speak english
Telemarketer:blah blah blah blah
me: no speak english
repeat as needed. a lot of them won’t hang up…I dont think they are allowed.
as for the airhorn, isnt that illegal?
I don’t have a site for this, so maybe its an UL, but I heard of a woman blowing a whistle into a phone while receiving an obscene call…he sued and won.
Annoying Telemarketer: Hello, are you Mr. R?
Me: There’s no one here by that name. (It’s my wife’s last name, not mine. We’re both changing it to something else, but anyway…)
AT: Oh, well can I offer you-
Me: click
AT: Helloareyouinterestedinsomequasiusefulcrapetcetcetc-
Me: click
AT: Hello, can I interest you in-
Me: Can you call back later? click
(later)
AT: Hello, I’m calling back regarding-
Me: Ya, sorry, still busy, please call later. click
(yet later)
AT: Hello-
Me: click
This is much easier, as I can go back to whatever I was doing without getting all bent. Coming on to the person is damn funny, though.
Slight hijack: Have any of you out there gotten a computer-generated call from telemarketers? The ones where, after you say “hello,” a recording comes on and says something like, “Please hold for an important message from the ABC Company, blah, blah, blah.” Makes it easier to hang up on, but damn, I still hate that! You can’t even pull any of the aforementioned, well-deserved crap on a recording anyway!
Fenris I think a way out of your dillema is to say things like “PUtting garbage on my lawn, spray painting obscene graffitti on my home (other examples as they occur to you) are examples of actions coverered under federal hate crime laws. They haven’t worked on me, nor will this never ending barrage of phone calls from you and all your competitors…”
you aren’t claiming that the things have happened to you, but that they consitute possible hate crimes and they won’t work on you. ( all true, right?)
When they call our home and get me, I tell them in a confidential whisper “Oh, you are Soooooo o lucky you got me instead of anyone else who lives here. I’ll merely tell you politely to put us on your no call list. the others make an effort to make your life a living hell”. Stops 'em dead in their tracks.
And, of course, it’s not a lie, either - my SO made one cry by turning it into an obscene phone call (“I’m not wearing any pants”), swore every other word to another who had the audacity to call back and say “now that you’ve gotten that out of your system” and got another earful.
zoogirl, that sounds like a fairly legit kind of thing - my parents get a lot of stuff like that done - trim painted, lawn treated, drains cleaned, ceiling fans installed, etc. etc. etc., and while I know that if, for example, my mom wanted the lawns treated again, she would not wait for the telemarketer to call again and would instead call herself but - atleast you have some sort of legitimate connection to the customer, and you know that they have in the past, and might in the future, want to utilize the services your company offers.
The calls I get, though, are so patently, painfully, obviously a scam. Like the thing with a credit card:
a) my dad already has a credit card - several in fact, which he is quite happy with
b) if he was calling for a new one, why would he give them my phone number when I live 500 miles away? he wouldnt, not in a million years
It’s like if you called someone whose carpets you had never cleaned and said “Hi! We’re the people who cleaned your carpets last year, and we think it is probably time for us to clean them again? You dont remember us? You’ve never had your carpets cleaned? Well, our records state that we indeed cleaned your carpets - in fact, your husband/wife called us yesterday and asked us to come back.”
PS. I knew I had replied to a telemarketer thread in the pitt - it took me ten minutes of searching the other telemarketers thread to realize I was in the wrong thread.
love
sneeze
This is a special little project of mine. I live in Orange County, NY. The Orange County Sheriff’s Office is being investigated for a GAZILLION fund-raising irregularities, including but NOT limited to pressuring people on the telephone into donating. You just wouldn’t believe how bad this has gotten and yet, because he’s old fat and white, he’s protected, our good Sheriff is !!!
I’ve a very good standard patter down for people FUCKING STUPID enough to call and solicit on behalf of The Fraternal And Most Powerful Order of Police Sheriff’s K-9 Officer Benevolence Association.
FauxCop: Hi, I’m with the New York State Fraternal And Most Powerful Order of Police Sheriff’s K-9 Officer Benevolence Association, how are you today?
Me: May I have your supervisor please?
FauxCop: I’d like to thank you for all of your support in the past, and remind you of the vital and cruxial work our fine and belabored officers do each and ever day profiling private citizens. For only $ 50.00 we would be so very grateful for your continued support and of course would send you a professional looking decal which affords you no special rights or priveledges under New York State Law but makes you think you’re a cop’s brother and therefore you can speed like all hell and the State Troopers will just let you go with a wink and a nod. Can we count on you to donate at least that minimum amount?
Me: May I have your supervisor please? And, the street address and office phone number from which you are calling?
FauxCop: Yeah, hold on.
FauxCopSupervisor: Is there a problem here?
Me: Yes, your name please?
FauxCopSupervisor: We don’t give out any information here.
Me: Then, the street address and phone numer you are calling from?
FauxCopSupervisor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: Well, I live in Orange County New York and if you are who and what you claim to be, you’d be well aware of the problems we are having here in Orange County, vis a vis Police Organization donations. Sound familiar?
FauxCopSupervisor: I assure you we’re totally licensed and regulated by the NYS Dept. of Police Abuse. Do you think you would be able to make a donation, or should we just note that you refused to do so? ( This part always puts a good taste in my mouth. Sure. Threaten me. See how far it gets you.)
Me: No, if you refuse to give me your telephone number, I’ve got a few options, that’s okay. I can use my second number and call my local police, and have them contact my telephone company. Since I have a Digital Phone Trap device on my line, all incoming and outgoing numbers are recorded, and they strip Caller ID blocks off as well. I’ll be delighted to forward your organization name and real phone number to Elliott Spitzer’s office. But then if you are really a cop, you already know who he is, right?
FauxCopSupervisor: Excuse me? Who is that?
Me: The New York State Attorney General. His office eats you guys for lunch. Scurry along now.
<<click from other end>>. Every time they find out that I will pursue their information and give it to the A.G., they fold and bail. The ONE time I got a for-real Cops organization on the phone, I verified so fast it made my head spin. The officer offered me not only the State issued license number for Non Profit use, but his name and shield # as well as the phone # and address where he was located. Everything checked out, down to the last detail. I just told them that I donate my time to the local ambulance corps, and have nothing to donate to Cops Organizations but surely agreed that they do nice work.
To me, there is NOTHING sicker than a telephone scam artist- except when the telephone scam artist is wearing a badge issued by my county’s Sheriff’s Office. God, it’s just awful.
Cartooniverse
That’s hilarious Fenris, maybe if you get it just right you can make her cry & stuff :rolleyes:
Gomez
[sub]Former telemarketer who realises how annoying it is but has seen several people cry after calls like yours[/sub]
Oh well. Maybe she won’t call UNINVITED again.
Sorry beagle, it just seems like the crime doesn’t merit the punishment.
Good. Like I said, enough calls where she cries and she’ll quit. Every time someone quits, the telespammer’s company’s overhead increases slightly. And, given that she called, uninvited, after all the precatuitions I’ve taken to avoid these harassers, I have no moral qualms about it.
If she was working a decent-person’s job (IE anything that doesn’t require her to harrass unwilling people in their own homes,) I’d never dream of trying to make her miserable.)
Fenris
Just because she’s stuck in a nasty little job like that doesn’t mean she’s a nasty little person. When I was a telemarketer (admittedly it was for a pretty short time, just under a month) I was working with some people who just couldn’t get another job as “good” as telemarketing with the qualifications they had and they weren’t in a position to get better qualifications (some were too poor, some just weren’t bright enough, you get the picture). See, the thing about telemarketing is that it pays relatively well and you need absolutely no qualifications or experience to start work there (that’s why I did it, it was my first job straight out of college and was therefore easy to get and enabled me to get much needed experience fast) and if you’re one of those people who, for some reason, can’t get a real job without losing money you may not be able to afford then you’re stuck in the unfortunate position of being made to annoy people (and made to feel guilty for annoying people) for money. This makes telemarketers seem like parasites or self centered and selfish individuals (and a large percentage of them are) but most of them, IMO, are not. Most of them are either (a)College leavers eager to get a job and build up a resume and some experience in sales a.s.a.p. (poor fool that I was, I originally wanted to work in the retail industry in some form. Not any more, mainly because this job gave me a severe distaste for dealing with people.) or they are (b) very badly qualified and this is the best option for work that they have.
I don’t despise telemarketers, I despise telemarketing, they industry and the practise as a whole. I think that the best way to dismantle the industry is to just never ever buy from them. Whilst you may cost the company money by harassing someone into quitting you’re also creating a job vacancy which will inevitably be filled within a day or two and thus the cycle will go on.
I know this will most likely fall on deaf ears but it is deeply, deeply unpleasant for people on the other end of the phone trying to get by and in some cases you’re being overly mean to people who just don’t have a choice.
If you’re really sick of them just hang up as soon as you realise it’s a TM. Us parasites get use to that very quickly so it doesn’t affect us much when you do with the upshot that you’re not buying and are therefore still damaging the company without damaging the easy target lumbered with doing the dirty work.
P.S. I’d also like to apologise for my first post to this thread because it’s pretty spiteful and I don’t think you realised fully that you can hurt people who really don’t have much of a choice. I’m not usually spiteful so I’d like to take it back.
The rest of what I said stands, however.
I just gotta say, that was a great comeback.
Precisely why I let the telemarketer get all the way through his script before I say “no”. The longer I keep them on the phone, the less money their employer makes.
Speaking of which, one that I’ve always wanted to try, but never had the nerve: tell the telemarketer “Sounds great, but can you hold on while I turn the oven off?” Then just put the phone down and go about your normal daily routine. Wonder how long they’ll wait before they catch on…
Back when I used to be rude at them, I’d often just let them get rolling into their spiel, put the phone down and go do something else. Another good response is of the “I’m kind of busy right now, but could you give me your home number? I can call you there.” For best effect, there shouldn’t be a trace of sarcasm in your voice for that, play it fully sincere. Variation three is to keep them on the line as long as possible. Feign deafness, ask them to repeat themselves at timed intervals. Once again, you must sound fully sincere for this to work well.
These days, I just interrupt with a firm “I’m not interested, place me on your Do Not Call list.” The number of telemarketing calls I receive have fallen, er, drastically. It is true that it’s not quite so entertaining, but one must weigh trade-offs.
See, the thing is every fast food place I’ve ever been to has openings for people with no experience. Migrant food picking doesn’t require experience. Hell, sucking cock under the freeway overpass doesn’t require experience.
I’ve worked some shitty jobs that didn’t require experience but also didn’t require me to sell my fucking soul. There are plenty of jobs to be had that merely require getting your hands dirty as opposed to getting your soul dirty.
Sorry to disagree but yes it does.
Anyone who says “Making a quick buck is more important to me than not harassing people, not using things they’ve paid for to bother them, not forcing them to spend money to prevent me from getting to them” is pretty much a basic standard of “a nasty little person”. Anyone who says “my making a buck is more important than your comfort or privacy” gets what they deserve.
**
But the more vacant seats, the more retraining (even if it’s only a day or so) that the company has to do. I’ve worked in inbound call-centers (tech-support and such) for half a decade…it costs a fortune when a seat is empty and/or the phones are down. Plus, no matter how shoddy the retraining, it’s time that you’re paying someone who’s not on the phone. The more money I cost them by making people quit, the sooner it’ll be unprofitable. It’s not much, but, as the old lady said as she was pissing into the sea “every little bit helps”.
**
First, I’ve been on the wrong side of some pretty hateful stuff and in every case, they called me for tech-support, I know how miserable an ugly phone call can be. It is with full, personal knowledge that I’m doing this.
It is deeply, deeply unpleasant for me to be forced to spend money to block these harrassers. I don’t like caller ID. I hate having an unlisted number (and I hate having to pay for it). I don’t like taking my phone off the hook when I’m working swing or night shifts. I don’t like the fact that i’m forced to hunt down “no-call lists” to sign up on and have them ignored.
And as for the “no choice”, I don’t care how unqualified “Miffy” or her ilk are, there’s always jobs in fast food, janitorial, and so on. Hell, there are always jobs at inbound call centers and half my employees are newbies right out of high school or with a GED. She has a choice, just not one she’s willing to make.
**
But I’m not damaging the company. By hanging up quickly, I’m cutting their call-times which means they can go on to bother another person that much faster.
If I wanted to hurt the company without hurting the harasser’s feelings, I’d certainly do the “stall and talk s-l-o-w-l-y” route before hanging up. The more of their time I waste, the better. But that wastes mytime too. Nope, making the phone-harassers cry seems the best option all the way around.
**
No problem. Apology certainly accepted. This topic always makes for some angry discussions. However, I think I’m about to disappoint you:
**
Sorry, I realize exactly how much I can hurt these phone-harasser’s feelings and if I could make it hurt more, I would. Like burgler risks getting shot and a purse-snatcher risks getting beaten up, a phone-harasser risks the chance that I’ll do my damnedest to make 'em cry for violating my privacy, especially after all the money and time I’ve spent to try to regain it.
Fenris
{ring ring}
Hello, Muffin here.
Firefighter’s Association, blah blah blah
No thank you.
{click}
{ring ring}
Hello, Muffin here.
Do you smell smoke?
!
{click}
The chief and I had a chat the next day.