Tell me about baby gear

In My Humble Opinion
1

We’re having a baby at the beginning of January, and a friend has started planning a baby shower. This means doing some sort of list of baby stuff, and probably registering at a major company. I have to get organized soon, because the invitations are going out in a few weeks. The baby shower is tentatively scheduled for the first of December. If it matters at all, it’s a boy.

This kid is our first, and I don’t know anything much about what I’m going to need (besides a live-in maid. Wouldn’t that be nice?). I’m looking for advice from Doper parents, aunts, and uncles, about all the stuff. The damn marketing is overwhelming, and since I don’t currently have any experience, I need advice.

What worked for you? What kind of stroller/breast pump/baby carrier/diaper service/nursing bras/bottles/ whatever worked really well? What do you recommed? What do you recommend against? I’m open to hate stories about brands and types that really don’t work, horror stories about nursing clothes, advice about immediate postpartum coping.

All advice deeply appreciated.

2

Well, if you want to go the economical old-fashioned route, here’s what I bought new:

3 dozen cloth diapers
several pair of plastic pants
1 umbrella-type folding stroller
1 car seat (First style of really safe infant seat; GM’s Love Seat)
One bunch of newborn-size baby clothes.
2 - 3 nursing bras.

Everything else had been previously used by one or both of my sister’s children. (I had to send her out to buy newborn-size baby clothes for my first, since both my neice & nephew were well over 7 lbs at birth and my daughter was 5 lb 5 oz. )

Breast pump? Negative.
Diaper service? Not on your life. I quit my job to stay home. I washed every diaper in hot water & bleach & hung them on the line to dry.

Post-partum? I have a funny story. Well, it’s funny NOW. First day home, first baby. My husband helps me & the newbie upstairs and I settle, exhausted, into bed. “Well,” says he, “All set? I’m going out to …” Well, I forget what he was going out for, because I burst into an ocean of tears.
“What? What??? What’s the matter???!!!”
“Well, <sniffle, sniffle>, you’re going out, and <sobsob*sob> I just got here, and <bawl> I’m hungry!”
“All right! Don’t cry! I’ll get you something! Anything! What do you want?”
"Well, <sniffle>, you could get me some cottage cheese, and some fruit. "
… time passes … Husband comes upstairs with plate of cottage cheese, fruit, and some fruit cake from Christmas, which I love. At which point I start to cry EVEN LOUDER. Poor confused man.
“What’s wrong NOW?”
“Well, it all looks so pretty, and I’m so glad to be home, and…”

And we wonder why men don’t understand us. Heck, sometimes I don’t understand us.

3

It depends on what you are planning on doing with yourself and the baby. Ours is 19 months now and we’ve had a bit different experience from MLS.

Cloth diapers are good, we don’t use them as such, but use them for burping cloths.
We use disposable diapers, don’t get a lot of the smallest size, we used all of one package of them.
Tons of onsies, in all sorts of sizes. I think we got them at least through 12 months which is good.
My wife still does use her breast pump, but she works, if you’re staying at home then probably not.
I don’t think a lot of toys are needed. We’ve done well with the same toys for a long time. She does like stuffed animals so she gets those, but I’ve seen some people’s homes and they have so many toys it’s not even funny.

I might be able to think of more later, but it’s time to catch a train.

4

Congratulations! This is not gear-related, but I hosted a shower for my sister-in-law last Saturday. One of the things that she requested was for people to sign up on a calendar to bring them home-cooked meals after the baby comes. So instead of buying a gift for the baby, my husband and I will be making their family dinner every Monday for six weeks. Something to consider.

5

Just some random off the hip thoughts from raising our now 16-month old son:

  • Shoes, don’t bother with till they can walk, around 1 year old.
    -Baby monitor, used the sound monitor a lot, was given a used video monitor, never even hooked the thing up.
    -Wipe warmer, don’t bother, why get them used to warm wipes when you won’t have any when your out and about.
    -Bottle warmer, yes, super easy to take a cold bottle out of the fridge first thing in the morning and through it in the warmer for 30 seconds.
    -Bar rags and cloth diapers, yes and yes. You can never have enough rags around for wiping up stuff and bar rags are cheap and easily washed. Don’t use cloth diapers as diapers but use as floor/changing table protection when changing him, it’s a lot easier to wash diapers than to change the changing table cover every day.
    -Rocker, yes, but get a cheap one. You’ll use it for 1 year and then it’s pretty useless. I got one for $100. I’ve seen people buy $400 chairs??
    -Crib & dresser. Check out how easy it is to reach underneath these things, kids drop pacifiers all the time and they always go underneath these things.
    -Stroller. You’ll use it all the time but the nicer ones are big and take up a lot of space in your trunk. Make sure you have the space to transport the thing.
    -Car seat/carrier. Carry one around the store with a 20lb. weight in it. Some of these things are damn heavy.
    -Car seat sleeping bag (sherpa bag). This thing is awesome for cold weather. Instead of having to dress the kid in a jacket/ warm pants / mittens / socks or boots to tansport him through the cold, you put him in the car seat and the sleeping bag zips up around him, easy in - easy out.
    -Large shaker bottle with measurements. Instead of making a bottle at a time of formula you can make a days worth in a large container at once and keep it in the fridge.
    -Simple clothes. People like to buy complicated dress clothes for your kid complete with belts, hats, vests, etc. Forget it. Why bother when they’re probably going to spit up on it within the hour. Onesies, t-shirts, pajama sleepers are all the kids gonna be wearing for a while.
    -Swing. Never used one. I heard if they get used to falling asleep in a swing then that’s the only place they’ll fall asleep.
    -Bouncer. Like a car seat for the house, gives you a place to put them most of the time.
    -Door-way jumper. Kids absolutely love these things. Have to wait till they can hold their heads up by themselves though. Boing-boing-boing.
6

You don’t really need very much. Diapers (cloth, disposable, or a service), bottles if you’re going to formula feed or pump (and the pump), some sort of clothing.

Here are some of my favorite baby things:
Muslin blankets. These are slightly bigger than regular receiving blankets and very lightweight, so they’re fantastic for swaddling a baby without overheating him. They work well in winter and in summer.

Long sleeved onesies. Gerber & Babies R Us sell cheaper versions. You can buy more expensive, thicker ones at Gap or Old Navy. I’m of the opinion that babies should wear soft, comfortable clothing (as opposed to little adult stuff) and onesies with a pair of knit pants were my kids’ baby uniform.

If you’re thinking about cloth diapers, Green Mountain Diapers has excellent information to get you started and very good customer service.

I really enjoyed having a changing table when I had one (with my first). It’s something that’s not necessary (we change on the floor, now), but it’s nice to have.

If you’re thinking about a carrier, I found that Baby Bjorns killed my back and neck. The Ergo is really comfortable.

If you are going to use bottles, consider getting glass ones. Plastic ones have Bisphenol A in them, which has some controversy surrounding it.

I really like Old Navy baby socks. They stay on. Babies don’t need shoes, but if you want something to keep his feet warm, consider getting soft-soled shoes like Isabooties.

Those are my favorites!

7

There is too much stuff. Most of which you don’t need.

You will want to arrive home to a basic baby medicine cabinet - infant Tylenol and cough syrup. A rectal thermometer.

You’ll need enough of all cloth things to have some in the laundry - that’s clothes, bedsheets, etc.

You’ll need lots of diapers of whatever kind.

You’ll need a carseat if you have a car.

Nearly everything else is really a matter of preference. We didn’t have a swing for #1, we borrowed one for #2. We had a pack n play, but without older children or animals, you don’t NEED one. I was never much of a stroller mom - we did fine with $11 Target umbrella strollers for the most part. Nor was I a sling mom (wish I could, just freaked me out, I tried).
We liked the sink or a towel in the tub over the infant tub.

Remember that the kid doesn’t know enough to care about whether he has “the best” stroller in the neighborhood - and ever penny saved now will pay for college later.

8

I’m the grandmother of a three year old.

Don’t scimp on your carseat. The best grandbaby in the world has been using his Britax Marathon for 2.5 years now. He’s not the biggest kid, so he’ll probably be in it for another year. It has been worth every penny. He had a smaller, snap-into-the-stroller infant car seat when he was 0-6 months because he was such a little guy and just swam in the Britax, but kids who are more regular sized can use it as infants.

9

Stuff I found useful:

  • the swing. Great for calming newborns. Not all like it though - some prefer the vibrating chair, some don’t like either.

  • the carseat. You need one, if you have a car.

  • the monitor. Sound only.

  • Don’t bother with a specialty rocker chair. We got a rocking airmchair which is also useful when they are older to read stories and stuff.

If you have the cash, I think hiring a post-partum doula for a week or two is a great idea. Helped us a lot, teaching basic baby care and allowing us some sleep at night (but of course they are not cheap). I wish we had hired one for the birth as well.

I was amazed at how much stuff we got as hand-me-downs. I hardly bothered buying infant clothes - we got bags of that stuff from friends & relations.

10

You can actually even skip the cough syrup. The CDC doesn’t recommend OTC cough medicines for babies under 2.

11

No matter what kind of diapers you use, you will never complain about having too many. And although it’s definitely a YMMV kind of thing, Huggies were useless for our guy, Pampers were great.

12

Here are my top five from when my son was teeny tiny:

  1. Bouncinette or bouncer or whatever it’s called. My son took lots of his naps and slept in his at night for the first six or seven months. They’re especially useful if your little one has a cold (ours must have had three or four colds from 3 months through 7 months).

  2. Lots of larger receiving blankets, used or new. Our son loved being swaddled, even after he could start kicking out of it.

  3. A nursing pillow. I never got the hang of walking around and nursing at the same time. I also was never totally comfortable with just a pillow.

  4. Baby bjorn or sling. I have both - they were both gifts. My bjorn was less messy, meaning it didn’t have a lot of cloth that hung down from it like a traditional sling, but the sling supported my baby’s head better. Either way, I liked being able to carry my son around a lot without killing my arms. He’s a really touchy kid, even now. When he was tiny, he’d frequently refuse to nap unless I was holding him. Using a sling was a huge revelation - finally, my arms didn’t feel like they were going to break!

  5. Onesies, whether hand-me-down or new. I don’t think our son actually wore clothes until he was 3 or 4 months old. He was born in May, so he didn’t really need them anyway.

Here are my top five for right now (my son is 16 months):

  1. Space-saver high chair. It straps onto a regular chair and converts to a booster seat. Since we have a pub-height table, it’s hard for our son to really sit at the table with us and feel included, but the space saver, as its name implies, saves a lot of room and lets him interact with us more at dinner.

  2. Sippy cups - as many as you can lay hands on.

  3. A slip mat for the tub. Our son slipped and hit his chin at 13 months. It took him 2 months to get him to enjoy bathing again. And the only reason he slipped was because I was so used to him having better traction in the kitchen sink, which is silestone, than he does in our bathtub that I forgot to get one.

  4. Good shoes that you don’t have to tie. Our son uses some New Balance shoes that we got at Stride Rite that have velcro closures instead of laces. Very handy when you have a toddler who can’t sit still for long.

  5. Books - lots and lots of books, especially lift-the-flap books. Our son loves lift-the-flap books and Priddy books (like Baby Colors, Counting, etc.)

Other important purchases we made were the strollers. We have three, which seems like a lot (and we probably don’t need all of them), but they’re nice to have for different reasons. The umbrella stroller is fabulous for traveling, while the travel system my mom got us is great for times we’ll be walking around a lot and our son needs to nap. Also, I run a lot, which makes the running stroller fairly important.

We also have a ton of bottles. Our son is weaning off the bottle - we’re down to one bottle in the morning (which we’re eliminating now) and another at night (which will be harder to get rid of), but it’s nice to have a lot of extra, especially in the larger size. Our son started polishing off a lot of fluid in a sitting a lot faster than we were expecting.

13

If you are breastfeeding, I really recommend a good nursing pillow like the Boppy. I used mine so much I got 2.

I also liked the Avent Isis pump, it’s a manual one but I had good success with it (after a few weeks of adjusting to how it worked. I didn’t realize how I would get such tiny amounts out at first and thought I was doing it wrong.) I pumped a few times a week at work and liked that it was quiet and didn’t need to be plugged in, since I was stuck pumping in a restroom with no outlets. If you are going to pump a lot though, you might want something more industrial :slight_smile:

We used a pack and play with a bassinet feature when he was newborn rather than buying a seperate bassinet and it worked well. I had the pack and play right next to our bed for the first few weeks and I found it convenient for night time feedings until he moved to his crib. Also kept the dog away.

I also like the sleep sacks that zip up, keeps them warm without blankets.

14

A Boppy or two can be wonderful to have. They make lap-napping so much easier, whether they’re two weeks old or six months old. Even beyond that, they still come in very, very handy.

A few people have mentioned that they never used the video portion of their baby monitor. When the little one is still a baby, that’s very true – we never did either. However, when we transitioned Shayla from the crib to her own bed, she could then wander around the room all she liked. It only took one evening of “what the hell was that thud sound?” before we got the video monitor in there.

Oh yeah…if you can swing it, get a good digital SLR camera. I imagine how many pics I’ve gotten I would have missed if I used a standard digital camera, simply because of how much faster SLRs are. Certainly not a childrearing necessity, but a wonderful thing to have.

ETA:

As that first pic shows, they’re not just for breastfeeding. :slight_smile:

15

10 gazillion receiving blankets. They double as nearly everything else and they’re awesome for polishing the car in a couple years.

I’m of the mindset that less is better. They badger you into buying stuff that you really don’t need. Get clothes in various sizes because they really do grow out of a onesie overnight. Get a rubber “booger sucker” bulb. You’ll need it. Get a good carseat and a stroller that has cargo area (I never had that and I wish I did). You need a pile of bibs. You need a thermometer. You need a tube of Desitin. You need some kind of diapers (I preferred disposable). You need a diaper pail for all the funky laundry. You need some baby towels, but not many.

That’s about it! Everything else is fun stuff for the most part.

16

Need?

Not a whole darn lot actually. For the first six months I had a stroller and carseat, a playpen/bassinet and a bouncy chair. I kinda wish I’d had a sling, it would’ve been nice to carry him with. Otherwise, we had a few bottles, the usual assortment of clothes (mostly sleepers, onesies, jackets, hats, robeez slippers) and some toys, lots of hand-me-downs and thrift/consignment store finds, they grow so fast it isn’t really worth spending that much on clothes until they are older and not even then :wink: . Mine is a winter baby, so we also had mittens and a nice warm winter suit I could get him in and out of easily (it had a body bag, like those sleeping bags you can get only it was hooded and much warmer but it could be adjusted via snaps to make ‘legs’).

I had a hand pump for breast milk (he didn’t latch well so I pumped what I could and augmented with formula) but it hurt the hands like a bitch.

A change table isn’t really necessary, but I’ve seen some nice ones where you buy a dresser that has a seperate piece to sit on top with edges and works as a change table. I just used the couch and floor though (and a change pad, and blanket under that).

Wish I’d had room for a basic rocking chair to rock to sleep or cuddle in. But we had no space so oh well.

If you get the chance, go try out different carriers and slings (if you’re the type to use them) and bring a doll with you to get the feel of what carrying them would be like. Different carriers sit differently, and you make realize you don’t like them at all. Better to do it before you put the cash down for one.

A carseat you need. I had one, even though I don’t drive because sometimes we needed to take cabs (to the hospital a few times :frowning: )or people came to pick us up. We had one that snapped into the stroller (one of the ‘travel systems’ and we used the shit out of it).

Also, for strollers, you shouldn’t be using an umbrella type stroller until they can sit on their own. It doesn’t give them the support they need, it can’t tilt back and they end up sitting slumped which can be problematic for breathing (or circulation, apparently as a baby my fingers went blue after I was sitting upright slumped over).

17

Thanks My kids haven’t been two for some time - so I’m not up on what to give babies. But a better idea is to get a peditrician now that YOU are comfortable with and ask him/her or the nurse what to have on hand. Some things (ipacac) you won’t need for months and months. Some Peditricians will have specific ideas on what they want you to have on hand - Pedalyte in one I remember, but we never needed it. We did need the castor oil. And I have a friend who must have gone through four bottles of ipacac.

18

I didn’t use my Boppy nearly as much as I thought I would. I found it got in the way during nursing. Mostly only used it to prop a nearly sitting baby while playing supervised on the floor.

I wish I hadn’t bothered with a high chair. We had a small dining room and ended up loving the boosters that go on a regular chair. They take up much less space and are useful far longer. Plus both babies prefered to sit at the table with the rest of the family.

Baby #1 loved her swing to pieces.
Baby #2 wanted nothing to do with a swing. Ever.

Neither of them used the little floor play gym type thing much, either.

We tried cloth diapers. Really we did. With baby #1 we gave up around 2-3 months and switched to disposables. Cloth was just too many blow-outs from our 8 poops per day baby. We’re usually happy with whatever brand is least expensive, but have learned to avoid certain brands. Brand preference appears to depend on the shape of your particular baby.

I went back to work at 8wks with #1 and 6wks with #2. I used a Whisper Wear breast pump and pumped for each of them up to their first birthdays. I was able to pump while working at my desk with the office door closed. Supplies are hard to find - you have to use their collection bags - so I ordered online with no trouble.
I really don’t miss pumping.

19

I bought just about everything that I purchased used, either from thrift stores (i.e. Goodwill) or at Once Upon a Child. And received a lot of hand-me-downs, which was fantastic.

The gear thing is frustrating because you just don’t know. I always meant to try the sling, but couldn’t figure out where to buy one (I think they’re more widely available now). I also found out that I’m the kind of mom who needs to get out of the house and go places with the kids, so I needed lightweight gear.

Diaper bag - I went through 3 different diaper bags, the first one wore out and I tried two others that didn’t quite get it done, finally wound up using my old backpack.

Crib - I co-slept until they were about 8 months old (and occasionally in the years since), but the cribs were great for naps, particularly once they started rolling over. We only used them until the twins turned 2, when the movers lost some parts. We went to plain mattresses at that point (they’d started climbing out at about 17 months or so).

Changing table - great for the first year b/c of doing 7-8 changes/day/kid; ditched it when we moved, once they started running around it was easier to wrestle them to the floor & pin them under my leg (I can’t remember anyone telling me ahead of time about that phase :smiley: ).

Rocking chairs - still love them. Ours are regular La-Z-Boy recliner/rockers (from about 1972) that a friend had in her basement. The armrests are really low, and padded. Very helpful when cuddling a sick child.

Stroller - I wound up liking my lightweight umbrella stroller a lot, but the big DuoGlider was useful when mine were babies, it had more support and hauled stuff. Both of them came to us used and were still donatable when we finished. We still wind up carrying our kids sometimes, but strongly prefer that they walk.

Car seats - Had the Graco bucket seats for the first 10 months and loved them, my babies often fell asleep in the car and it was so easy to get them inside. Then we went to the 5-pt Graco for about 15 months, and now we have the ones that are combo booster seats (which should last for a few years).

Swing - one kid liked it a little, other one hated it a lot. Same with those doorway jumpers.

Exersaucer - there’s an older one by Graco that my kids loved to bits, it didn’t have many toys attached, but the 3 legs were springy. Really great from 4 months - 10 months, then gone.

Pack-n-Play - limited usefulness for us, our kids didn’t tolerate them well; OTOH, when we needed them for safety or convenience (or traveling), they were very handy. Useless after 17 months, they’d just climb right out.

Play pads with the toys dangling from arcs - fantastic from about 8 weeks to about 8 months, then useless.

High chairs - won’t need at all until your son can sit up (6 months?). We started out with conventional seats that I bought used for like $12/ea, but they were so honkin huge. So I switched to the plastic ones that strap onto your chairs. Loved them.

20

Congratulations! Your son will be a month older than my (second) daughter. Bet he’s kicking you in the bladder real good about now!

Gift and gear advice:

  • Ask people to cook for you! Stuff for the freezer, and/or signing up to bring meals on certain days after the baby comes. This is more valuable than any ten traditional gifts you will get.

  • Get a sling, preferably two (for when the primary one gets barfed on). Shop a bit, try on different types (I like a non-padded Maya ring sling, but personal preferences vary). Look for high end boutiques and/or crunchy stores for trying them out - I don’t think Babys R Us has a real selection. Two places here that have different slings are the “lactation station” at a hospital, and a shop connected to the birthing center. If someone else doesn’t buy you one, and you’re being frugal, you can make one yourself - there are free patterns online. (PM me if you want more details on any of this, btw.)

Seriously, slings are a lifesaver. They let you get some things done, and soothe even high needs (a/k/a “fussy”) and colicky babies.

  • Monitor with two receivers - we have used ours to no end, still do with our 4yo sleeping upstairs and far away from our bedroom.

  • Flannel receiving blankets. You can never have too many. Not only good for swaddling, which helps soothe babies, but great as burp cloths and such. I even used one as an emergency diaper once!

  • We didn’t use bottles much, but I’d say even if you’re nursing, having some milk storage bags/bottles and baby bottles is nice. Breastpump is optional for SAHMs, (you can hand express instead) but can be useful. However, ease of use is very idiosyncratic, so maybe not a great gift item. If you’re working, a hospital grade pump is vital - you can rent them through the hospital or a lactation consultant.

  • I had PPD with a side of OCD, so I really valued the little mirror that let me see my daughter in her rear-facing seat in my rearview mirror. I was terrified I’d forget her somewhere, and until I got the mirror, I was reaching back at every red light to feel her head to make sure she was there!

  • Not a baby shower type thing, but ever since we had a baby, we have loved our Tivo. Just trust me.

  • We did cloth diapers and really liked Fuzzi Bunz and Motherease.

  • Lots of good nursing bras are a good investment. Just don’t buy a ton of underwire ones until you test drive one for a while and make sure it doesn’t cause plugged ducts for you.

  • My Brest Friend nursing pillow rocks. My Boppy kept sliding off my lap, but this one straps to you with velcro. Drawback - velcro RRRIIIP may wake up a sleeping baby.

  • You don’t need baby food or baby food mills. Once baby is old enough, make simple foods for the grownups, and mash up what you’re eating with a fork.

  • Even if you don’t cloth diaper, consider using baby washcloths as wipes. Especially when they start solids, one washcloth can do what a dozen wipes can’t.

  • Ooh, a tube of Lansinoh and a couple packs of Soothies or other hydrogel pads, just in case you get some nipple irritation. LIFESAVERS in my case.

  • You do not need a baby tub, and especially don’t need baby washes, shampoos, powders, etc. Bathe with your baby, and use Cetaphil to wash him. Special baby washes are actually incredibly irritating because they’re loaded with fragrance. For diaper rash, use zinc oxide cream with no added perfumes.

  • Nursing clothes are nice when you’re starting out, but not necessary. Some tank tops to layer under another shirt are great.

  • Onesies and footie pajamas are fantastic.

  • On the flipside, avoid anything with a fold-down or lace collar. They don’t stay down, but brush against the baby’s face, stimulating the rooting reflex constantly. Result: frustrated, cranky baby.

  • Baby nail clippers are useful, as are the snot-suction things.

  • Baby Tylenol is the only medicine you need, really. Nothing else has been proven to do much for colds and such in infants.

As if that’s not enough advice, here’s general new mom advice:

  • Go to at least a couple La Leche League meetings. You will get such wonderful real-world advice, preparation for birth and breastfeeding, and great connections and support. Oh, and if you are sling shopping, you can probably find someone who sells them through LLL. Also, doulas and stuff if you’re interested.

  • Sleep when the baby sleeps. Don’t do chores during naps - you nap too. All those people who want to help by holding the baby “for you,” make them do dishes and laundry instead.

  • Sleep in the same room as the baby for a few months. Even if you don’t cosleep. Having the baby in the room is very protective against SIDS, and makes life easier when they sleep in three hour blocks.

  • Try to remember, all the hard stuff really does end. Colic will fade, they will learn to sleep, and so on.