I have to second olivesmarch4th - no situation is forever and you will bounce back.
Many, many years ago I filed Chapter 13. It is clear from some of the posts here, the laws have changed somewhat, etc. and I suspect it maybe a bit harder now than in the past.
My attorney recommended Chapter 7 which I refused to do. I felt a moral obligation to pay my debts but I was unable to get out of the hole I was in with delinquency, collection demands for payment in full, possible wage garnishment, etc. I pushed for a Chapter 13 and at that time, the attorney was able to negotiate through the courts for a reduced total debt (I think the original proposal agreed upon was 35% of the total debt) which correlated to a much small total payment per month to the bankruptcy trustee. Being the same pig-headed person who wouldn’t accept Chapter 7 I also refused a lower negotiated total debt amount and wanted to pay back the full amount owed based upon my own ethical/moral reasons. Ultimately, that is what I did - a 100% payback over… I think 3 years… under Chapter 13 and managed/administered by the trustee. I got breathing room from collectors, an end to the recurring late fees and interest and overwhelming minimum payments due to all my creditors, etc., and I got some satisfaction that I paid all of my debt back and did the “honorable” thing.
That all meant jack-shit.
My credit, which arguably was already ruined by the delinquencies already, was completely destroyed by the Chapter 13. It did not matter one bit that I paid back 100% when I could have screwed my creditors out of 65% of what I owed them. It did not matter one bit that I paid back 100% when I could have screwed them out of 100% of my debts if I had filed Chapter 7. In fact, it would have been easier and faster to re-establish good credit had I filed Chapter 7 instead of Chapter 13. It was after my Chapter 13 was discharged (successfully completed all payments, etc.) before I could get even a high-credit risk Visa (outrageous interest rates) card - so at least 3 years. Buying a car? Forget about it unless it was from a buy-here/pay-here lot. Home mortgage? Not a chance.
Now, credit rating aside, it was also a very good thing for me. I was forced to make all my payments on time every month. I learned the discipline to manage my money and dedicate time each and every payday to paying my bills. I was unable to run up debt in any way so I learned to save for things that were more expensive. I learned to put money aside for “emergency” events as I no longer had a credit-card safety net. I also realized (eventually) that if I wanted to avoid living hand-to-mouth I needed to a.) discipline my spending and b.) increase my earning potential via a college education.
By the time my Chapter 13 came off my credit report (7 years later) I had established positive payment history on the high-risk credit card and ultimately a used car loan. When the bankruptcy came off my report and there were no other negatives and a low income:debt ratio, etc., my credit rating soared. Ultimately, many years later I was in the upper 700’s in credit rating, receiving pre-approved “gold” or “platinum” cards with great interest rates, I was able to qualify to purchase a home with a zero down and very low fixed interest rate mortgage, buy or lease almost any vehicle I wanted, etc., etc., etc. Not to say I did all of those things, but I was (and still am) by most all measures an excellent credit risk.
The road was long (the Chapter 13 will sit on your credit for 7 years), it sucked and was embarrasing and frustrating, etc., but for me at that time I felt it was my only option. As olivesmarch4th said - it was not forever although there were times when I felt I would never be clear of the mistakes I made in the past.
So that’s my little story/contribution. I wish you and your family the best of luck, I know how bad it feels to be so overwhelmed by debt and life’s situations.