Tell me about meditation

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’m a pretty positive person, and I really enjoy feeling happy and peaceful. Unfortunately, I’m also an easily stressed and hot-tempered person, so am frequently more rushed, tense, or angry than I want to be.

I don’t really have any major stressors in my life - I’m a stay-at-home-mom with a wonderful husband, a nice home, good friends, supportive family. I have three things I am generally stressed about:

  1. There are some minor financial worries due to my staying at home (a choice we were both comfortable with) and I do dread returning to my job in a few years when the kids are both in school full time, and often fret about finding an alternative way to bring in some income.
  2. I absolutely love being at home, but I do sometimes feel overwhelmed trying to keep the house and kids clean and happy (or at least cleanish, I don’t aim for 1950s perfection or anything). I recognize that it’s not rocket science, but it’s just that I regularly feel like I am always rushed and busy and frantic, and don’t fully enjoy anything.
  3. I do have a 2 year old, and a 5 year old with moderate behaviour issues, which is far and away the biggest cause of stress in my life.

I’m looking for a way to be more laid back, take-things-as-they-come, easy going, at peace, etc. I’m wondering if meditation might be helpful. In looking around for a book to learn some more, I couldn’t figure out where to start! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

2

You might enjoy Buddhism for Mothers. I belong to a discussion group with some other mothers of small kids and we read this book a couple years ago. It’s a fast, easy read with some useful ideas and meditations.

3

There are lots of meditation videos on youtube.

4

FWIW, Elret, I have a Facebook page called “Peeling Mom Off the Ceiling” that’s aimed at folks just like you. Meditation is awesome. Good luck!

5

Here’s one theory. Long, long ago, our very early forefathers and foremothers had only one thing on their minds at a time. The theory is that our basic hard-wiring is made for mono-tasking, not multi-tasking. Meditation takes us back to mono-tasking, and it’s good for us.

6

You don’t really need to buy a book or anything! There are so many free resources online that it’d be criminal not to start there, instead :slight_smile:

I find guided meditation (or self-hypnosis, which are both good search terms for youtube videos) is a much better place to start for a beginner. You need to make sure that you’re breathing properly–fully into the diaphragm, so that your stomach expands rather than your chest. Letting a calm voice guide you will give you ideas for how to do it by yourself, if you eventually want to try that in the future. I’m too easily distracted to be able to do it alone, though that may work for you :smiley:

I would classify myself as a casual or reactive meditator, as I don’t do it every day. Just when I start feeling stressed and/or my jaw gets all clenchy (which means I’m stressed, even if I haven’t mentally noticed it yet).

I think the biggest challenge for me is finding audios that have no religious base, since I’m an atheist and god-stuff is more distracting to me than immersive. There are a shitload of resources out there for Buddhist/New Agey/chakra meditations, but those don’t work as well for me. You can try searching for them, though, if that interests you.

Some useful search terms, which you can either youtube OR google, are progressive muscle relaxation, passive progressive muscle relaxation, guided relaxation, breath meditation, whisper meditation, sleep meditation, and binaural beats. Here is a list of free guided meditation resources that I keep bookmarked. Obviously there are many, many more out there:

http://www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm
http://www.mymeditationgarden.com/guided-meditations/the-big-list-of-free-guided-meditations/
http://www.loyola.edu/counselingcenter/students/relaxation/

You may also find that a male or a female voice works better for you. I prefer male voices. I have a few female-voiced files, but the vast majority of what relaxes me is a nice soothing baritone. Preferably with a British or Aussie accent, when I can find it.

You can also try searching for meditation scripts, and recording them yourself for you to listen to later. I’ve never tried this, but I’ve heard it can work well for people who have panic attacks. (I hate the sound of my own recorded voice, YMMV)