I thought about signing up just so I could post this story.
I’m a behavioral therapist for autistic children and one of my clients is a two-year-old boy. Ever since I met the mother of this boy, I found her behavior somewhat flighty and strange. She could never seem to keep it together, despite the fact that she was stay-at-home with just this child to watch (older brother was at school all day long).
She told me her “job” was e-bay. She would buy things she found on sale and then sell them for a profit on the internet. One day, she breathlessly told me of this great deal she had made: She found two pairs of designer sunglasses on sale for $75. She sold one of them on e-bay for $100 dollars, and decided to keep the other one for herself, isn’t that great? Inside, I’m thinking, “Lady, your ‘deal’ just cost your household $50.” She was always making “deals” like this, and then she would tearfully tell me that her husband was worried about finances.
She couldn’t seem to get herself or her son out of bed on time. I arrive everyday at nine, and most days I would ring the doorbell, knock, and finally call the home phone in order to wake her up so she could come let me in. Is it so hard to set your alarm for 8:55?
She also couldn’t keep track of the toddler. The worst incident occurred one morning as I pulled up in front of the house. I turned my head and jumped in my seat when I saw the little boy pressed up against my passenger side window cheerfully saying, “Boo! Boo!” I craned my head to look to see if mom had escorted him out front to greet me, but no adult was in sight. I got out of the car to see that he is completely naked from the waist down, no pants, no shoes, not even a diaper!
I grabbed his hand and we walked inside the house, me calling, “Hello?” No response. “Hello? J?” Finally, she emerges from her bedroom, which had been closed, apologizing profusely and explaining that she had to send a last minute e-mail to her older son’s school. Okay, but you needed to do that with your bedroom door closed, with your naked two-year-old alone in the living room, the two-year-old who by the way is perfectly capable of operating a doorknob?
Other minor incidents with the kid happened while she was shut in her room as well, but her problem never dawned on me, as it has probably dawned on some of you by now. Yes, she was on drugs. Shortly after Little Boy did his The Great Escape impression, she was shipped off for three months to rehab. No, I don’t know what kind of drugs.
But it doesn’t end there. Apparently, shortly after she went to rehab, multiple credit card companies starting calling the house demanding payment. She had racked up thousands of dollars of debt in her e-bay “job.” Three months later, she was out of rehab, and that very day she dropped $125 at a shoe store.
Now, the parents are separating, the family is in debt, the kids are cycled through multiple caregivers (grandma, grandpa, other grandpa, nanny, different nanny), and mom drops by the disrupt their lives and traumatize the kids whenever she feels like it. By traumatize, I mean drop by the house without calling, kiss and cuddle with the older boy, chase around and rile up the younger boy, and then sneak off ten minutes later without saying goodbye, so that the younger boy wanders through the house crying and calling for his mommy.
What really makes this so fucked up to me is that she betrayed her family and children in so many ways. Her full-time job was the care for the kids. She didn’t do that and even put the younger’s life in danger with her neglect. Her job was to appropriately manage the household finances. She put them into debt and blew through her kids’ college fund for all I know. She continues to fail, because, even though she no longer lives with her children, her job is to provide them with consistency and support, and instead she sees them only when and as much as it is convenient for her.
Man, even the sight of her makes my blood boil!
