Tell me about your Down's Syndrome pregnancy/parenting (keeping or terminating)

In My Humble Opinion
41

Here’s my input
quick backstory: my personal story is I’m pregnant with fourth child- all 3 i currently have were born free of DS, did not get tested as I live in a conservative part of Canada where you have to know and ask- adamently about this stuff. I am early in this pregnancy but as I am no longer young and naive; i will get DS testing and will terminate pregnancy if test is positive.
Here’s why: I worked with two Down syndrome kids last school year.

  1. One was a spunky girl, if she outlives her parents, she will need quite a bit of care. She has had and will be having, heart surgeries.
  2. The other is the reason that makes me quake at the potential terribleness what DS can look like: a kid in high school in a diaper. He can’t talk, can’t walk (wheelchair), blows snot, smears his poo if diaper not changed immediately, pulls hair of anyone within grabbing range, and shrieks all the time. And no one will ever know why. He is enormous and very strong. I was told he has the mental capacity of a three year old but as a parent of three that are older than three, I don’t think so, maybe early two year old.

Call me callous, heartless, whatever you want, but I love my unborn child so much, DS will be my reason to terminate if it turns up in results. My children have various thinks they struggle with, but in my mind these are a drop in the pail compared to DS. It will suck if it happens and my heart will hurt for a long time, but my mind is made up. (As is my husbands, we agree)

Anyway, that’s my bit. Really enjoy this site, glad I found it.

42

When I went for my triple-screen test, hubby and i discussed what we would do if it showed a problem. We both agreed it would be Amnio next.

If that had shown a problem, I would have aborted. It sounds awful now, to look at my beautiful girl and know that we had discussed it so calmly at the time, but still, our relationship has been a rocky one (hubby and I) and I don’t think either of us was particularly equipped to deal with a special needs child at the time daughter was born.

43

Agreed that it is really tough. I worry about my daughter now, I worry about what will happen when she grows up, I worry about what will happen when my wife and I pass on. And it’s a ton of stress and work now that most people can’t comprehend. You take hope in the progress and try not to let the minefields blowup on you (like having a possible seizure 2 weeks ago and dealing with getting that diagnosed and dealt with). People have to make their own choices but let’s just say I wouldn’t recommend it if it’s an avoidable decision.

Apologies for the aside. Parent of a disabled child but not Down’s Syndrome.