Tell Me About Your Religious Beliefs or The Lack Thereof

I can’t see how it is “respectful” for you to point (out) that their beliefs are silly, etc, anymore than it’s “respectful” of a person who follows a religion to tell you that you are stupid, going to hell, etc. But to malign the beliefs of someone just because they don’t happen to think the samething you think isdisrespectful.

You know what? I don’t give a damn what your opinions are. I want your self-righteous condescension about as much as I want a chick tract shoved in my hand.


I’m a satanist.

Many people really have no idea what satanism really is, as it’s such a taboo thing to talk about. However, over the past couple of years people have started to accept this (I have many good Christian friends who have never tried to convert me or expressed open concern for my soul) which has made being open about it a lot easier. A lot of us just don’t tell anyone because it’s too much of a hassle to explain it and defend it at least once every 3.7 seconds. I however, believe it is worth defending. So I would love to take the time to share a little bit of info about it.

Satanists either believe that there is no god or devil, or they believe strongly in both and choose to worship neither. We worship ourselves, and our basic philosophy is self betterment. AKA, we are vain.

Pride is not a sin, it’s a virtue. You should be very proud about how good you are at the things you are good at, and never ashamed to share that if it comes up in conversation.

We love our friends almost as much as we love ourselves, and would help them anyway possible. We really don’t care at all about strangers. Why waste some of my love on someone I don’t know, when I can give that much more to the people I do.

Try not to bother or cause harm to anyone. However, the minute someone causes you harm in anyway, you have the divine right to “strike down upon them with great vengeance and furious anger.”

Above comes from the philosophy that we all have a sacred space, our body & mind & emotions (AKA private bubble) which no one has to harm in any way. This is a contract that everyone is born into. Once someone does something like, oh, punch you, they should know that part of their contract (AKA fine print) reads:

“the moment you cause harm to anyone, you have given away the right of your private bubble to said person, and they may use any force they will to protect themselves from further harm, even if it means your life.”

Keep in mind, I don’t know any of us who go stir crazy and knife someone for pinching us on St. Patty’s day, but we also feel we have the right to beat the livin’ beejeezus out of frat boy who punches us, simotaneously refering to us as “Slayer shirt wearing faggot”

Now, some quick verification of some myths about satanism.

We all listen to metal - well, maybe not ALL of us, but a lot of us do. But a lot of christians also listen to gospel music, so nyah.

We all have mullets - false

We all ride goats - false, but I certainly would if they could support my weight. They’re SO DAMN CUTE! Especially the lil pygmy ones!

We eat small fuzzy animals - true. rabbit is mighty tasty in stew.

We play cards with the minions of hell every Tuesday - false. Poker night has now moved to Thursday, because lord Lucifer is taking a pottery class Tuesday nights.

I hope this has helped explain Satanism to everyone. If you have any more questions, I would love to reply.

Did everyone read the same rules in the OP as I did?

I have highly, um, idiosyncratic religious beliefs. You might say they’re not religious at all, but philosophical – I’m not sure. Anyway, I believe in God, but I don’t think It demands worship, but rather amusement. I think reality and God (the two are inseparable to me, seeing as how I’m a pantheist) are respectively a giant, all-encompassing joke, and the all-encompassing sense of humor that created it. The Creator is part of the Created, which makes no sense whatsoever. This is because God is the embodiment of absurdity and incomprehensibility. In order for logic to exist, there must be absurdity. (The converse might be true, which would make the whole thing an absurd proposition, but that would just fit into my explanation and create a pseudo-quasi-half-assed philosophical version of those nice mind-blowing infinite mirror/video feedback effects.) The universe, despite our attempts to explain it, is always intrinsically incomprehensible, since, when you get down to it, it is impossible to explain why things are just this way and not any other way. (What I mean is that every situation is defined by an infinite negative space of situations that are not the case.) When an answer is given to question beginning with “Why…”, the answer merely creates another “why.” This chain of questions has no end. God is the answer to “why?” because God is a question. God, defined as the reason for the universe, is the impossibility of reason itself. To put it another way, God is the endless “whoooaaaaa.”

Occasionally, however, I envision God as a really gorgeous woman, just so I can fantasize about sex with God.

Laughter is the highest mystical state of all, since it puts us in touch, albeit briefly, with the absurdity of our own existence. Religion must be funny to be true. Or, to quote the Illuminatus Trilogy, “It’s not true unless it makes you laugh, but you won’t understand it until it makes you weep.”

Got all that? Hang on, this is the part where it gets really stupid, and the part I envision as a cheesy sci-fi movie:

There is no Satan. All evils are created by the cosmic force of bullshit, created by Sterculius, the Roman god of manure. However, the bullshit of Sterculius, spread by his unwitting human minions, cannot be fought with “truth,” as truth, if it indeed exists, cannot be taught, only realized. Instead, the individual must combat it by fighting back with his own completely ridiculous bullshit (e.g., the very idea of Sterculius) in order to mock the bullshit that causes evil. The force of anti-Sterculian bullshit emanates from a god that can be identified as the Moabite god Baal-Peor (who was worshipped through defecation and temple prostitution) and the Greek Momos (god of mockery). Insights from this god are typically received through the true third eye, the anus, which explains that peculiar type of cosmic/mundane revelation that comes only while one is seated answering a call of nature (after becoming aware of this, I heard that the Church of the SubGenius has the similar concept of excremeditation). Sterculius and Momos/Baal-Peor are really just two sides of the same coin, though. [All the ludicrous BS in this paragraph was the official dogma of a joke cult I founded in high school as a lame attempt to gain groupies, money, and vast political influence. Of course, I made sure to explain that, while my religion was a joke, it was not unique in that respect; it was merely unique in the fact that I admitted it was a joke, as opposed to the founders of all the others. This made my religion the One True Religion ™, worthy of holy war and ritual sacrifice. I eventually gave up on this lame attempt at cult leadership due to a combination of laziness and the realizations that a) I was the only one who understood the subtleties of my religion, b) I was too nice to brainwash my 20 or so followers, and c) without the brainwashing, I wasn’t going to get any money or action anyway.]

As you can see, my religious beliefs are a combination of low-budget pseudo-philosophical BS that attempts to explain the unexplainable through reference to its unexplainable nature, and ridiculous crap that I occasionally pull out of my ass and make myself believe as part of an informal psychological experiment. You see, I maintain that to know anything about the universe, one must have a skeptical outlook. However, I’ve decided that the best way to truly instill such an outlook is to force oneself to at least occasionally believe ridiculous things, which really can force you to think about what other ridiculous things you already believe, and can perhaps even exhaust your credulity, like in Lewis Carroll’s anecdote about a man who tried long and hard to believe in the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, and by doing so wore himself out so much that he couldn’t even believe someone who told him it was raining outside. In any case, I figure that the really fundamental cosmic truths are impossible to ever find out or comprehend, and what I believe them to be has no bearing on the way I conduct my life anyway, so I may as well make myself laugh and mess with my mind in the process.

Religious belief, lack thereof, or ravings of a madman? You decide.

Oh yes, and I was raised Lutheran, interestingly enough.

What, isn’t there any nice Satanist folk music for you to listen to? Or perhaps polka?

I’m born a Jew but it’s really more of a cultural thing for me at this point.

I see so many otherwise rational people…people who’s abilities and intellect I respect…buy into what appears to be nothing more than superstition.

Believe me when I say that I’m not trying to offend. Honestly, I’m dismayed by it.

Upon what do they base these beliefs? From where I sit they base them on the fact that a great many other people believe these things. But that wouldn’t work for so many other things: astrology, balance of humors, flat earth, what have you.

What makes this one subject so powerful in peoples minds? I honestly have no idea.

It’s possible that I intellectualize to such an enormous extent that I’m incapable of not looking at something like that skeptically.

I’m certainly aware of the numistic feeling. And it strikes me occasionally. But I don’t feel the need to assign it to some arbitrary force that defies all logic, reason and evidence. A rainbow simply is. It’s beauty requires no creator…it’s amazing in and of itself.

Or the Alps
Or the Potomac on a foggy, cold morning.
Or the night sky…

“Behold…the only thing greater than yourself.” (Stolen from Roots)

I never have gotten it. And I don’t think I ever will. Sometimes, during difficult times (my sister’s death, for example) I desperately wish I could believe. It would provide comfort. But one can’t simply say 'Today, I will believe." Or I can’t, anyway.

There are simply some things that can’t be grasped. And I face that, sometimes cheerful, sometimes trembling with fear.

I was 13 when I first realized I would someday die. I was sitting in my bed in my room, reading something (Lovecraft, of all things) and it just hit me between the eyes: I was finite. At some point in the future I would die. And I had no idea what happened then.

Since that day I’ve been scared of it. But I can’t find solace in something for which there’s no evidence. Again, I wish I could.

Give me a burning bush, a white buffalo, a vision, anything. Just some scrap of evidence…something to point to and say ‘Here! It’s real! I can prove it!’ and I would be a much more certain man.

But it’s not there. And I don’t think it will ever be.

So instead I live to be a good friend, a good father, a good husband. I try to be the best there’s ever been at my job. I try to create songs and stories that will last. To try to create something worthwhile that will live after me. That’s religion to me.

mr. splitfoot, I’ve been wondering something about Satanism. Why do you guys call yourselves Satanists? You seem to create the false impression that you all, well…worship satan.

If you don’t believe in or worship satan, why call yourselves that?

godzillatemple You are very welcome. I’m happy you shared your beliefs here Berry :smiley:

I’d like to know more about the Catholic Church’s focus on Mary. What is that all about?

I’ve never heard of the Nicene creed or the Marian aspect. Please tell me more.

I’ve heard of the Rosary but never really knew what that was about either.



The Nicene Creed is one of the three basic creeds of the Christian (not just Roman Catholic) Church.[We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come. Amen.


The other creeds are the Apostle’s Creed, and the
Athanasian Creed. The first is a shortened version of the Nicene Creed, and the Athanasian Creed is like the Nicene Creed, except dwells much more heavily on descriptions of the Trinity.

I will leave the discussion about Mary to others, as I am a fairly orthodox Lutheran, and want to avoid this being thrown to Great Debates.


Thank you Shodan :slight_smile:


Shodan, thank you, I had not read that in several years, sums it up nicely.

I’m an atheist, in that I do not believe in God and do not see the Bible as anything more than a very old collection or stories. I was not raised in a very Christian household and was free to decide what I wanted for myself. By about grade 7 I decided that based on all I currently knew that God did not exist and the Universe and all life simply was.
I believe there was a Big Bang, but it wasn’t really a big bang. It was something that we are currently unable to comprehend. Just like trying to explain an nuclear energy to a cave man.
I think all life is to be respected. In fact, one of my big peeves with most religions is that they see Humans on top and other form of life only there to serve humans. So, I don’t cut down trees because they block my view or buy houseplants and then discarding them as soon as the flowers disapear. The same for animals of all kinds. They have just as much of a right to be here as we do.
So basically I’m a Scientific Semi-Jainist.
Boy thats weird…

IANAS, Splanky, but I had the concept explained to me at some point. (Disclaimer: I was a stereotype stupid icky stuff in the woods at one point in high school. I was not, however, a Satanist in the sense of the religion. I was a stupid teenager who wanted to be accepted and rebellious. I grew out of it).

The person who explained it to me basically said that the reason it was called Satanism is that it espoused many of the qualities/beliefs that lead to Lucifer’s fall. The pride, for instance. The refusal to bow for the sake of bowing. The right to defend one’s self, even against God. “Better to rule than to serve” and all that. As Satanism incorporates these aspects into its philosophy, the name is apt. There really isn’t another term for it–it’s not really hedonism, nor quite nihilism. It’s something all its own. While the name implies evil, it is not (in the case of religious/philosophical Satanism, anyway), at least not more so than other faiths.

I have not religious beliefs. Pretty much a hard-headed rationalist, but with an active, restless imagination. Raised Catholic, and actually I’m glad I was exposed to religion early; sort of like getting the mumps and then never having it again.

I’m about as non-religious as it gets. I’d say atheist, but there are some connotations associated with that word that I’m not sure I’m 100% behind. That is, to me, atheism is the complete renunciation of the existence of god, and I’m not certain enough to go that far. I just don’t believe in anything I can’t see, or that’s inexplicable. It wasn’t that long ago, relatively, that we didn’t understand the workings of things like bacteria, molecules, etc, so I don’t see why scientific evidence for supernatural phenomena may be discovered in the future. Basically, I’m keeping an open mind, but don’t believe in a great creator. Would that make me a materialist?

Great thread! It’s really very interesting reading the divirse religious views here.

I don’t know if there’s a word for my beliefs. Not to say I subscribe to a totally new school of thought; I’m just not that smart. I’m sure other people have thought along the same lines as me, but I’ve never heard it specifically defined.

Anyway, I was raised Jewish. I think there are elements of Judiasm that are great, just as there are elements of all major religions that are wonderful. Taken as a whole, however, I don’t subscribe to any one religion. I DO believe there is a ‘god’, or ‘force’ or whatever you want to call it… some greater power. I think I partly believe that there is something because I want there to be… and partly because I find it hard to believe that there isn’t; that all of this is an accident. I do believe, however, that whatever it is, is far, far, far, far beyond our comprehension. Calling it Yahweh or Jesus or God or whatever, I believe, is simplifying it to terms we can comprehend and putting it in human terms, when whatever it is is far beyond what we can understand.

I absolutely, positively, without a doubt in my mind DO NOT believe in a vengeful, worship-me-or-burn-in-a-pit-of-hell-forever god; I don’t believe in a supreme being or force that would give a damn that some among us are sexually attracted to members of the same sex. I think whatever it is, has far more important things going on. In short, I don’t believe in a petty god.

To really understand that, you have to understand that the religion was formed in the 1960’s, when counterculture and rebellion were the big thing. And what more counterculture and rebellious than the prince of darkness?

In an a non-religious world, they would’ve been the First American Church of Hedonism. In a Zoroastrian world, they would’ve named themselves after that particular faith’s less pleasant god.

I’m curious, mr. splitfoot: Do you identify with the Church of Satan or the First Church of Satan?

Condensed version (I’m very tired and due in bed in about five minutes):

Went to catholic school, more or less, until college. Once I was free to think on my own, I realized I had never truly accepted God without someone telling me to do so. Gradually became what I’d call an agnostic theist; that is to say, I believed in some sort of higher power, but didn’t necessarily ascribe to it J/C properties, and I didn’t think the existence of such was, at the time, something one could prove. (I told you this was the condensed version!)

And then a week or so ago I got “introduced” to two gods named Flora and Daniel. However, I’m not just going to up and believe in a polytheistic system without more experience with it, so for now I think (not “believe”, not “know with all my heart”) there are at least two gods but I have jack in the way of physical proof and not much more in any other forum. It’s just this … feeling I have.

And on the line of what Anamorphic said, I really think inasmuch as I don’t hurt anyone that Flora and Daniel couldn’t care much less who I’m in bed with. Might even be happy for me, I dunno:)

I’d like to know more about the Catholic Church’s focus on Mary. What is that all about?**

First off, in some parts of the world it’s basically non-existent - she’s accepted as the mother of Christ, always Virgin. By some people OR in some places, it appears to me that some Catholics seem to worship her. While I know this is not what the Catholic doctrine teaches, it’s just my perception of how far some take it.

I’ve never heard of the Nicene creed or the Marian aspect. Please tell me more.

The Nicene creed - that’s been explained. The Marian aspect is whatever is associated with Mary.

I’ve heard of the Rosary but never really knew what that was about either.

The Rosary is a form of meditative prayer - and it is very helpful for some people. It includes “decades” or sets of 10 Hail Marys, a Glory Be (Glory Be to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen) and an Our Father. There are some additional prayers that start and end a set of five “decades”

During the each decade you’re supposed to meditate on the meaning of one of the mysteries - either the Joyful, Sorrowful, Glorious or Luminous mysteries.

This ties into my personal discomfort with how I perceive Mary’s role within portions of the Catholic Church. I do, however, still enjoy meditative prayer, and I use the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.
StGermain (or other Catholics) - I’ve tried to be very neutral in my description. Please feel free to correct my statements above if you think they are incorrect.

I’m an observant Roman Catholic. Much like LSura, I subscribe pretty much without reservation to the Nicene Creed. Also like LSura, I think that the Marian stuff has gotten a little out of hand (although that varies from Catholic culture to Catholic culture. Spanish Catholicism is certainly more Mary-centric than Irish Catholicism).

I have reservations and outright disagreements with many things the Church says and does and teaches. Nonetheless, I am a Catholic. I believe not only in the propositions contained in the Creed, but in the stuff that differentiates the Catholic Church from Protestant churches – transubstantiation, the Apostolic Succession, etc.

Atheist, hard. No God(s), no heaven, no hell, no sin, no souls. We’re killer apes with opposable thumbs and a fanciful imagination, nothing more and nothing less. We’re born, we die, we’re stuck in a hole in the ground.