I didn’t mean that to sound dickish 
In an ideal world, yes. In the corporate world, no. In the corporate world you are only as equal as the value your provide your boss and the company. There hierarchies, both formal and informal, and it is important to understand how they opperate.
That is because you have been there 8 months. I’ve been at my job 5 months and I’m still introduced as “The New Manager”. A lot of people start jobs expecting to light the world on fire and advance rapidly every few months. It doesn’t work like that. They hired you to perform a particular job. Master that first for a year or so, then start thinking about the next step in your career.
Some additional advice I can give you:
-Stop identifying yourself as “a woman”. Everything is not about you being a woman. There will be people who want you to fail for reasons that have nothing to do with you being a woman.
-Be a team player. Like most jobs, you are part of a team. It’s hard to do that if you are constantly trying to show everyone that you are the best. Not that you should do a half-assed job (I was joking before). You just don’t want to position yourself as the hyper-competetive female who only cares about her own career.
-Don’t sleep with your boss or date coworkers. As a man, I can get away with it because it makes me look awesome. As a woman, it makes you look like either the office slut or future Mrs. Awesome Male Coworker. I know it’s a double standard, but that’s the way it is.
-Don’t be afraid to call people on their bullshit.
-Avoid bringing your personal baggage to work. Boyfriend crap. Divorce. Whatever. No matter how capable you are, bringing this drama to work makes you look like a guest character on Sex and the City.
My post is my cite.
This sounds a little over-the-top for an office job. I’ve worked office jobs that were predominantly male, and I never felt threatened in any way, or felt that I needed mace. In most of those jobs, I felt like a sister to the guys, not prey. I do agree that EmAnJ needs to be careful to always dress appropriately for an office environment, but she doesn’t sound like a teenager who thinks the same outfit is good for both the nightclub and the office.
Interestingly enough, there was a story on our local news just yesterday about how women are still at about 66% of wage parity for guys in equivalent positions. I know we discussed that recently, and how the wage gap doesn’t exist any longer, but according to them it does.
Both are illegal in the OP’s jurisdiction. See the *Regulations Prescribing Certain Firearms and other Weapons, Components and Parts of Weapons, Accessories, Cartridge Magazines, Ammunition and Projectiles as Prohibited or Restricted *(SOR/98-462) at this site. Note particularly Part 3 of the Regulations.
How about bear spray? Can she use that? I’d like to get some for my walks to Safeway through an off-leash area where people confuse “off-leash” with “out-of-control.”
Legally? No.
However, I suppose if she was stopped with it she could just claim that she was concerned about bears in the area…
I am a female structural engineer and I have also experienced what you’re running into. Female engineers were definitely second-class citizens at the firms where I worked. I understand what it’s like to always be the only woman at a meeting. It’s not easy and I came to learn that it was not going to change overnight. I felt like I got the most respect when I had confidence in myself and my abilities and wasn’t afraid to speak up. There was one principal who had an aggressive and forceful manner and many engineers had a hard time working with him. When my turn came to work for him I decided that I would take a strong stance and not back down (even though I am pretty meek, usually). It worked out really well and he treated me respectfully.
Not all companies are like that, I later learned. I wish I had considered trying to find another job instead of putting up with being a second-class citizen.
I’m not sure how (I think there were some good suggestions up-thread), but you should avoid making coffee and carrying the projector. It’s not your job, and if none of your male co-workers are asked to do it, you shouldn’t be asked to do it either, and it undermines your authority. As for the introductions, I don’t know if there’s anything you can do besides introduce yourself later.
I don’t know how helpful my post is, but I mainly wanted to say that I have been there and totally sympathize with your position. I quit working when I had my first child 6 years ago. While I miss the engineering, I don’t really want to go back to that environment any time soon.
Toastmasters or similar. Speaking in public is the kind of thing that you learn by doing it often.
Making coffee should be avoided regardless.
Be very careful though, refusing to do actual business-related tasks (like setting up for a presentation) because you think it is “undermines your authority”. Someone has to do the grunt work and why shouldn’t it be you from time to time?
Your post is your cite that you are willing to believe BS? OK then.