Tell me how not to look like a tourist in New York City

In My Humble Opinion
21

I heartily fourth or fifth friedo’s list, especially #5.1-3. As a 7-year resident, I am eager to help with directions, but not if you’re an idiot.

I think this has been mentioned in previous threads, but the most important thing about approaching a New Yorker for information is to get to the point. Starting with “Can I ask you a question?” (you just did, asshole) or “Hi, how are you today?” means you want money or to indoctrinate me into a cult. Don’t do it, and beware anyone who tries to start a conversation with you this way.

Please don’t leave your hotel/lodging without a basic concept of the geography of Manhattan and the general placement of the sights you want to see. I am happy to tell you what subway to take and which stop to get off, or what streets to walk, but if you can’t grok the concept that Ground Zero is downtown from 59th Street, just get out of my damn way.

Also - get dinner on 9th Avenue, midtown. It’s off the beaten path, accessible to any price range, devoid of chains, and frequented by locals and theater nerds.

And - avoid west 42nd Street after 7pm. It’s just freakin’ crazy, especially on weekends.

ETA:

Or a C.H.U.D.! :smiley:

22

Ha ha! So true!!

My first reaction to the OP’s question was “crime rate? What crime rate?”

My second reaction was “why do you care about looking like a tourist?”

As sugar and spice said, looking like a tourist is fine. Looking like a fool is not. Friedo’s rules are excellent, as is Rachael Rage’s advice about asking for directions.

And do not hesitate to ask for directions or information. Most people will be happy to help. New Yorkers tend to be proud of their city, and want you to enjoy yourself. (And they also kinda want to prove that they’re not really big ol’meanies like you probably think.)

Yeah, and most of all–stay out of my way. If you want to stare at the drag queen on the 10-speed, feel free. But would you mind stepping out of the flow of pedestrian traffic while you do so? Thanks so much.

23

You must have traveled at midnight. I went from Queens to Hunter College for a debate clinic once, and I never would have been able to get either coffee or a doughnut to my mouth. Reading, however, can always be done. And tourists should note how New Yorkers fold the Times so that it can be conveniently read in a crowd.

24

Just mumbling to yourself works also, and is less messy.

25

I’d like to echo friedo’s 1.3. The only thing that irks me about tourists is they’ll walk 5 abreast and think nothing of coming to a dead stop, as if they have no idea that other human beings might be behind them.

Other than that, why not look like a tourist? I’ve lived here for two years, and I still take a camera everywhere I go. And for some reason, I’m always happy when someone asks me for directions.

26

The best way to avoid looking like a tourist is look like somebody who works in the city. Seriously, have you ever seen a tourist wearing a suit and tie? And don’t carry a camera.

27

When walking north of 34th Street or south of 59th, lock your knees, clench your mouth, and slam your feet down like you need to get somewhere, anywhere. SLAM SLAM SLAM.

No matter what the weather is, dress as if it were 20° cooler.

When just missing a subway train, it propitiates the transit gods to hiss, “sssshiT!”, hitting the t sound hard. This speeds the arrival of the next train.

Unless you’re elderly or handicapped, never board a bus.

28

I once assisted the animal handler for the Radio City Christmas show by helping her walk the camels – 4 camels up and down the sidewalks of Sixth Avenue at 6 AM. Nobody gives it a second glance.

[Speaking of which, it’s “Sixth Avenue,” you will never hear someone say “Avenue of the Americas” out loud.]

Memorize the names of the avenues and which direction the traffic runs, it will help orient you when you emerge from a subway stop.

I’d say if you really don’t want to look like a tourist get around on a bicycle.

29

A lot of good suggestions here. And there is nothing to be afraid of, most of the city has become very safe. Really, all you need to do is show some consideration for the other people using the streets and sidewalks and subways with you. I think that takes in most of the general rules - of course, it’s not only tourists who fail to follow them - and the rest isn’t that big of a deal. People who actually live here also have to ask for directions sometimes. It’s a big city with a lot of different neighborhoods.

Speaking of which: most of Manhattan is laid out in a grid pattern, which makes it pretty easy to get where you are going (on foot) if you know where you are and where you need to be, unless you’re at the south end of the island. The grid system ends at Houston Street* and after that point, you need a good map or an experienced friend to get around on foot. So generally speaking, if you are going to go to The (Greenwich) Village or any point described as SoHo, more careful planning is required.

My advice would be to stay out of Times Square, but I doubt you’ll listen. It’s been cleaned up and is safe, but it’s an eyesore with huge LCD screens and ugliness all over the place, and the pedestrian traffic is the worst.

*HOW-ston, not HYOO-ston. THere’s a tourist giveaway for you.

30

Since SoHo is named for being SOUth of HOUston, why isn’t it pronounced SOW-HOW?

You didn’t mention any dates for your trip, but two of my favorite NYC events are coming up: Broadway on Broadwayand Broadway Flea Market

31

Now that’s just silly. Buses get you all kinds of places that the subways don’t go and for which you’ll pay an arm and a leg to take a cab. They take MetroCards, and some of them are spiffy high-tech hybrids now. During the day they can be slow, but that’s just a general feature of Manhattan traffic.

FWIW, I take the bus to the gym after work several times per week. It’s one of those cool articulated ones, too.

32

I am not a New Yorker, but I’ve been there several times. Don’t believe what the TV says about the place - it’s clean, safe, and has the friendliest people. Seriously! New Yorkers are really super-nice and love to give directions.

It’s Chicago that’s full of assholes. :slight_smile:

33

I was kidding with a visiting friend about this recently. I also recently discovered a building that was ON Houston Street, but claimed to be part of SoHo, obviously for the cachet. Granted it was on the South part of the Street, but these people could not have reasonably claimed to be in SoHo when their address was on Houston Street. They were just plain Ho.

34

friedo, **pseudotriton ruber ruber **, and yearsofstatic–and a couple of other honorable mentioneds whose names I’m too lazy at the moment to look up got it right (and what **prr ** said is my mantra. Every. Fucking. Day.), so, as a resident of the NY metro area (i.e., northern New Jersey b/c I don’t want to live in NYC) for the past roughly eight years, I’ll just add my own:

*I get that you might come from a very whitebread place, where you don’t get to see/touch/interact much (if at all) with real live blacks and Hispanics, but when you encounter us in the streets or on the subways, please, please, *please * don’t look at us as if we were from Mars, or like you’re surprised that we walk upright and go to honest-to-god jobs and whatever like everyone else. Trust me, it’s not cool, and doing so will earn you eyes of daggers. (Yes, folks, this really does happen, and if you do it, and if you encounter the not-so-terrible-looking black guy with the Magen David earring giving you that “WTF?!” look, that would be yours truly. Please. Don’t. Do. It.)

*I understand that y’all might have certain perceptions about crime in NYC, but, really, it’s not necessary to latch onto your kids as if you’re surrounded by child molesters, etc. who want to use them in some kind of ritual sacrifice. By all means, do keep them well within your sight and close to you so that they don’t run into the street or get in my way (I’m looking at y’all, too, native/non-tourist New Yorkers), but, honestly, I’m just trying to get to wherever the hell I’m going at the moment. And some of us, like me, like cute kids, and we might say “hey” and want to stop to play for a minute if the kid engages us, but that’s about it. We’re not looking to steal them from you. Be safe, not paranoid–there is a difference.

*As others have pointed out, there are indeed con artists here who’ll try to sell you stuff on the streets or in the subways (like the boys selling candy for their basketball leagues–that shit cracks me up), or who’ll beg money from you. Some of us Dopers are nice people, and we really do want to help others who seem to be down on their luck, but don’t do it. Or, at the least, be smart about it. If you want to, say, help a homeless person by going into a nearby store, buying something to eat, and bringing it back to them (if you’re not comfortable with them accompanying you), that’s nice (hell, I do that), but you really want to avoid the bullshit. If you can’t help someone, or you’re just not interested, don’t stop and engage them in conversation about how you wish you could help, but you just can’t blah-blah-blah. Just keep it moving. Of course, don’t be insulting (“get a job!”), but just go on about your business.

*Despite what I’ve said above, please don’t be afraid to say “hello” or “good morning” to a stranger in passing. Given my rural Southern roots, one of the things that I absolutely HATE about the North (and most cities in general) is that no one, like we say back home, hails anyone else. It’s as if EVERYONE is under suspicion, and so we can’t give a pleasant greeting to someone because they might have ulterior motives. (And someone might, but that’s why you have to be smart.) I get where that comes from, but still, given even *my * misanthropic tendencies, I really do get a kick on the rare occasion that a stranger hails me–when two human beings take a moment to acknowledge their shared humanity–in passing.

I hope you have a good time.

35

Isn’t that weird, how people up north won’t even look you in the face? Or smile at another person in an elevator? What’s up with that?

36

Chiiilllld, I know! I mean, it really is as if they think that everyone is out to get them, and I’m always thinking, “Well, shit, what a terrible way to go through life.” (Well, maybe not to get them, perhaps, but…hell, I don’t know what else to think.)

The other thing is that, sometimes, people *will * look at you and then turn away without giving some kind of acknowlegement. And it’s like, wow. And I worry about these kinds of people, because I get the sense that they *do * want to nod “hey” or whatever, but they can’t bring themselves to do it.

As you might imagine, though I’m “used” to this by now, I still very often feel like a fish out of water. That’s why I know that, after I get my degree (which is I why I’m here), I’m going to have to go somewhere else. I don’t know if I’ll at some point go home to South Carolina (y’know–the nutjobs who happen to be religious who have too much control of the state), but I know that there has to be something better out there. There simply has to be.

37

Good advice, so far. One other suggestion about subways: When you’re about to board the train and are waiting for the doors to open, move to the side to let the people out. If you don’t, you’ll completely destroy your goal of NOT looking like a tourist. Also, the conductor will scream “Let 'em out!” to you. And finally, as nice as most New Yorkers are, you may experience the misfortune of being bull-rushed by an exiting angry passenger.

And this warrants repeating: Hold onto the poles or “straps” if you’re standing. When I used to ride the subway every day, I would see at least one person a day make the mistake of not doing this. It can be quite embarrassing to everyone, and in some unfortunate cases, painful!

38

Many of these are pretty good at telling you how not to act like a tourist. But only Harriet touches on how not to look like one.

I work across the street from the World Trade Center, and usually take my lunch in or around the atrium in my office building. Truckloads of tourists come through, and my colleagues and I have gotten pretty good at guessing what state they come from.

Aside from the obvious fanny pack, dangling cameras, and map, footwear and hairdo are the two biggest tourist giveaways. If you have a decent pair of shoes and a haircut that does not scream flyover, you will do just fine.

Leave your white sneakers at home. Cut the mullet. Seriously. Or even if you don’t have a mullet, spring for a better haircut before you get here. Bigger does not mean better, trust me.

Dark colors are also helpful. We are not a city of goths: black everything makes you look like an 80s metal fan, not a native. Reserved colors of any kind will do. Avoid loud prints, patterns, and colors. You don’t have to dress up, per se: clothing with simple, clean lines without unnecessary pleats and pockets are just fine. Don’t wear a baseball cap. If you wear a hat of any kind, you must have the rest of the style to pull it off. If you have long nails, trim them. Ladies with very long nails and elaborate polishing schemes live in the suburbs.

New Yorkers here may scream “but I do X all the time and I don’t look like a tourist”. I bet you are all correct. But committing any one or two transgressions of the above principles is just your personal style (which I am sure is very cool) and probably does not scream tourist. But busloads of tourists sin in all of the above ways, hence they stand out. If for whatever reason you care enough to not look like a tourist, it is best to err on the side of caution and stick to the basic rules.

To recap: reserved colors with clean lines, no hats, no sneakers, and no mullet/big hair of any kind. Don’t stick out. If your style fits in at a NASCAR race, a local Walmart, a hip poetry slam in SF, a tech company in WA, or a rodeo, you will look like a tourist.

These are just general principles, and of course, style varies enormously in NYC depending on borough and neighborhood. But if you are going to do the basics in Manhattan, you can’t go wrong with the above.

39

Well…the most common answer to your question is “go fuck yourself” :smiley:
Also, not thinking that there is a high crime rate is a good start.
Look really pissed off all the time. After a few days of walking around Midtown that should come naturally.

Lose some weight. Manhattanites tend to be skinnier than other people. Probably because they don’t have cars and do a lot more walking.

Don’t eat at any of the chain restuarants in Times Square. Just because Red Lobster and Olive Garden have a 70’ tall sign, does not make it so much better than your Red Lobster and Olive Garden back home and in fact it is probably worse. New York has some of the best restaurants in the world. Find some that aren’t found in every local stripmall.

40

I’ve tried. But when I issue the command “open hailing frequencies” I don’t hear the little chime from the computer. Nothing happens, actually.

Okay. Seriously. I attended Washington & Lee University where the southern “speaking tradition” is institutionalized. If you don’t greet your fellow students or the faculty in passing, it’s a bad thing. In New York, however, if you greet people randomly, it’s often seen as an intrusion. People are usually multitasking when they’re running from place to place in Manhattan. Having to return a greeting is an unnecessary distraction that most would rather not deal with.