Yet another thread about my hopeless fantasy novel, in case anybody feels like ignoring it.
Here’s the sitch. There are two characters in the scene; I’ll call them Lucy and Renée. Lucy is a 50something army officer; Renée is her 13-year-old adoptive daughter; and they are in a city under aerial bombardment meant to soften it up for a ground assault. They don’t know the enemy’s exact intentions during this battle; they may merely intend to capture slaves, but it’s possible they mean to occupy the city. Either way prisoners will be taken and atrocities committed if the defenders lose. Lucy knows from personal experience that the enemy is vicious; she spent her childhood in enemy territory as a slave and has an adult son by a forced marriage to one of them. Verifiably virgin female prisoners are apt to be segregated from the general population so they won’t be spoiled before they’re sold. Non-virgins are apt to be used recreationally, and quite possibly before without being removed from the field of battle. Renée is not a virgin, which Lucy knows.
As the scene begins, Lucy is about to go to her post; she is leaving Renée in the custody of friends in a shelter. It’s an open question whether the enemy will be able to overcome the defenses before reinforcements arrive, but if that happens, it is certain that Lucy will not be able to come to Renée’s aid with any speed. Before she leaves, Lucy pauses to give Renée a dart pistol she ordinarily keeps in an ankle holster. The darts carry a lethal poison that brings death within seconds, has only four shots, and there is no extra ammunition. The effective range is about five yards.
Apart from the obvious operational instructions (“You twist this dial to release the safety, honey, and press this button to fire”), what advice should Lucy give to Renée before she leaves?
Here are the options as I see them:
*1. Keep the dart pistol hidden unless the very worst happens. Don’t try to use it to save anyone but yourself. Use it only if you’re about to be captured and it’s possible that, by shooting, you’ll be able to buy yourself an opportunity to run and hide — in other words, don’t try it if you’re surrounded by a dozen soldiers, as you’ll only anger them and that will make things worse. If you have to submit to them, submit to them, and try to find a way to escape when possible.
Keep the dart pistol hidden for the moment. If the enemy breaks our defenses and you and your companions have to fight, use it to help. Fight to survive no matter what.
Keep the pistol hidden. If the enemy breaks our defenses and you’re about to be captured, use it on yourself.
Would you choose one of those options, or something else entirely? Why?
Option 1 makes the most sense. I get the feeling that Lucy, while she was treated badly by the other side, would still rather be alive and raped than dead, and wishes Renee to have the same perspective.
It makes the most sense to me too, even though I’ve already written it with option 2. What bothers me about (1) is that it’s sort of dickish; it requires Renee to be willing to abandon (or at least not do her best to fight with) any companions she is with.
I would say option 2. If she survives and all her buddies don’t she doesn’t need the angst of worrying about how she didn’t do her best to save them too. And in the long run it doesn’t matter, if her buddies are in trouble she is too.
I think you could phrase 1 in a way that’s less dickish. I mean, she’s got four shots, she’s not gonna be holding off an army. I think it’s more realistic to say, ‘I’m leaving you with my friends - they’re fighters, you’re not, leave the fighting to them. If the worst happens, here’s a pistol, but stay away from the front lines.’
I guess there’s also the issue of whether or not they’re gonna have time to search the captives - if this is a lightning raid, she could maybe hang onto it and escape later, but if the enemy is reasonably organised, there’s no reason to save the pistol until they take it away. In which case, maybe the advice is, ‘If you see one soldier, shoot, if you see more, run.’
I was seeing two ways that I would go with this option.
Keep it as is , only tell the 13 year old that its a trank instead of lethal so that the kid
sense of self preservation does not get in the way.
This one is a bit more cold hearted, instead of an instantly lethal payload have it so
that the round has a bio warfare payload, so that when the girl gets used , she sets
a very virulent plague among the male population.
