It wasn’t a final, but a couple of weeks ago I finished my first ever Linguistics test in 45 minutes out of the three hours granted. A lot of my classmates looked up, or even stared at me, some shocked and some clearly happy to see one of the top students in the class choke. The teacher was trying pretty hard to hide his smirk. I got a 90.
I’m usually one of the first people out, since I don’t give my test more than half a minute of review before I turn it in. It’s like asking a girl out: you don’t just stand there for an hour afterwards analyzing every single aspect of your approach, you just do it and then GTFO before you have the chance to screw anything up. MMV, I guess. (And I had a first date cancelled on me tonight–ouch–so take my advice with a grain of salt. But OTOH, she said she had two tests to study for and her sense of academic responsibility kicked in after she agreed to the date. Educational dedication or romantic apprehension? The world may never know. We do know that I made an appreciable dent in the tequila bottle I scored for the date–margaritas were to be an integral part of the evening’s proceedings. Healthy responses be damned, I had a rough night, especially considering all the effort I went to to make everything perfect for the date. The tequila alone was no mean feat considering that we’re both 20 and I’m flat broke.)
Depends on your calculator. Mine did most of my Physics I tests for me–step-by-step so I could pretend I did the problems–and had enough games that I could have easily entertained myself for an hour after the test if I wanted to. Selling that thing is going to be tough.
There’s a Mr. Show sketch where an advertisement is just a guy yelling out profanity: “Mother, Ass, Cock, Goddammit, Fuckity Fuck Fuck!” My freshman year of college my friends and I decided to do this bit during the frosh chem final. I was elected to start it out and we would go around and each of us would say one of the words and we’d cycle until we got through them all.
The day of the exam rolls around and I finish fairly early; not that I actually answered all the problems, but I got the ones I knew alright. I wait about five minutes as I gather my courage. I yell out “Mother!” and everyone in the room (our entire freshman class of about 200, I think) turns and gives me a weird look. My friends are totally stoked of course, but they don’t have the balls to continue with the bit. I get up and turn in my exam. The prof gives me this weird look, thinking that the exam was such a horrific experience for me that I yelped out in pain.
I feel pretty proud that I went through with it, and I think it’s an even funnier story since it’s just me yelling out “Mother!”
Also, I got a B- in the class.
Heh. In some of my HS honors classes I would incite the class when the teacher was out of the room…
We’d turn all the desks to face the back of the room while she was gone, or completely laterally flip the seating assignment, or turn all the desks upside down. And then we’d all sit there, doing our work.
And she’d walk in and say <My Real Name>, and we’d all laugh, including her.
I missed this one, but the senior English class behind me found my senior English teacher’s senior gradebook photo from his high school in Montana. They had t-shirts made. Junior English teacher lured him out from the library while everyone put them on (they were all researching for papers for class).
He walked back in and pretty much collapsed in laughter.