Or ask you to help them store it. This is so true, and you have to stand firm. When we were cleaning-out my parents’ house before we put it up for sale, my brother and his wife refused to part with anything. We’re not talking valuable items, just ordinary stuff. My brother rented a storage unit for all of it and that’s where I said no. I said “I can’t afford to help store all this. I’m taking a few things that I want and the rest is yours.” 20-some years later, it’s all still in the storage unit.
Regarding photos, however, my wife inherited boxes and boxes of family photos from her father. The majority of them have nothing written on them to indicate who, what, when or where they were taken. I’ve asked her to sort them out and discard the ones that are useless, and she began the sorting, but she’s never been able to finish it. Like many have indicated, there’s a sentimentality about them, and trashing them is so final. Perhaps now that’s we’re both retired, sorting and scanning them might be a good project…but I’m not holding my breath.
Maybe it’s because indoor photos required flood lights or paying for bulbs, but for certain decades most of the family photos were taken outside. One side of the family had a tendency to take photos of people visiting in the front yard and leaning against cars. Usually the nicest or newest car there.
They’ll never be thrown away, because I can identify most of the people in them. But now I’m wondering if there are folks who would like to see the cars.
My sister and I have this exact same thing that has happened. The photo albums mostly contain people and events, like birthday parties, Christmas dinner, etc, that we have dupes for in our own albums. But throwing them away, like you said, seems so final. I’ve gone through them, after my sister did, and have taken out some. I haven’t taken pictures from my Mom’s trip to China, because I wasn’t there and the scenes don’t mean anything to me personally, but that’s like throwing out my mom’s life!
Another thing that tended to happen, was that high school graduation pictures would be sent to all of the relatives. This was back when families could point to the first person to graduate high school. Then, as the recipients died, their children would send the graduation pictures back to the person who had graduated.
I have no idea why they would do that. It took awhile before I started throwing out the collected duplicates of my mother’s graduation picture. I still have one that’s something like 2’x3’. I think I still have that because it makes me laugh. That thing’s huge.
I am the first grandchild on both sides, AND my parents moved away from their families before I was born. My first pandemic project was going through the photos which had been given to me.
For every professional picture from 3 months to high school graduation I had 3-5 copies, sometimes more. It’s weird to throw out pictures of myself, but I really don’t need the duplicates.
My mom just gave two large photo albums of historical family photos to her cousin’s daughter. Better her than me.
Going through my late Mother’s stuff, I found seven original copies, in their cardboard holders, of Mom and Dad’s wedding picture from their marriage in 1943. We kids each have a copy, so these will be tossed, unless the grandkids want them. Throwing those away will be very strange.
I have an interest in my family history so personally I would put them aside as a future project and when the time comes scan and categorize them. If the amount is excessive then you could go through them and throw out the duds with the aim of reducing the space they are taking up by 50%. Once they are scanned and backed up they take up no space and you could throw out the albums if so inclined (I probably would, tbh)
You shouldn’t feel guilty if throwing them out makes your life easier or your energies are better spent elsewhere than scanning old photos. But if they do get preserved, someday in the future a descendant will thank you, especially if the people, place and date come with them. My grandfather was orphaned at an early age so it’s thanks to other people keeping and later sharing old photos that I was able to show my dad what his father’s family was like, and I’m very grateful for that.
The frustrating thing for me is that my mom will say “You need to come and go through all these trunks of old photos.”
She finally admitted that the “going through” meant that she wanted ME to decide what old pics SHE should keep.
That’s where I am singularly unqualified: I don’t care.
I don’t care what great-grandma’s uncle’s uncle looked like (which is good, the photos are pretty grainy and under-exposed). And I certainly don’t care about the multiple group pictures he’s in. And I don’t even care about what he did in the war (between the states… actually, that figures in: I’m a direct descendent of settlers and soldiers who would hang their enemies in public and leave them up as a warning … google the Mankato Massacre, our family is so proud of that).
Anyhow, I do NOT want to save any old photos. Or any of her old knick-knacks. I’m currently in de-cluttering mode myself, and am ruthlessly throwing out ANYthing I don’t absolutely need.
Meanwhile, my sister keeps saying “Ooh, don’t throw anything out, I might want it!” But she’s Back East, and I’m the only sibling in the same state. And mom keeps asking me “What should I do with this photo? And this one?” I finally said “If you’re asking me what I’d do, I’d toss it. So you should ask Sis. FaceTime her some night… (for two hours of holding pictures up to the iPad’s camera).”
I still have boxes of old family photos from when my Mom died in '04. Many of them were inherited by her, and from both sides of the family. Props to my brother who took on the role of sorting through them all to some extent, and getting names and approximate dates on many of them.
They’re still photos of complete strangers to me, but I just can’t bring myself to toss them. They are family history, however remote. I do have some photos I kept, but they’re of people and places I know and remember.
As I mentioned upthread, I have 40+ albums from my late Mother. Nobody wants them, but nobody wants to throw them away, either. So I finally bit (am biting?) the bullet and decided to go through each album and scan the photos that I deem worth saving.
I purchased a piece of software called ScanSpeeder which works in conjunction with my HP multi-function printer. I can now easily scan multiple photos in one pass, which will considerably cut down the time required. It still will take at least an hour per album, however. Five down, 40 to go.
To the surprise of nobody, my siblings are unanimously in favor of my efforts.
My brother had been a serious amateur photographer since the '60s. He passed away a couple of years ago, and I inherited several large cartons of his slides. Apparently, he never threw anything out. There are even slides that are seriously out of focus, or blank, or contain nothing more than a thumb. I’m sure there are some real gems in there, but I have neither the time nor the inclination to systematically go through them. If I don’t just toss them, someone else will after I die. I have a few thousand of my own slides that will suffer the same fate.
If the photos were yours, not Mom’s. Which they will be some day unless something changes …
Take a picture of the pile of boxes and albums out at the curb, then send it to Sis & tell he the garbage man will pick them up day after tomorrow. Fly out to retrieve them or they’re gone. Totally her choice.
It’s amazing how many people don’t actually care when they’re forced to lift a finger in support of their vague desires rather than just spend other people’s time, money, and effort.
I have inherited some old family photos that have been passed down through at least three generations. I don’t feel I have the right to throw them out without first trying my best to find someone else to move them forward to the next generation if I can’t.
My great-grandmother, grandmother and mother kept these photos their entire lives, through many moves and life changes. Who am I to say, “To hell with it” and just chuck them in the garbage? I keep them out of respect for their efforts and for future generations. And I am very glad they kept them for my sake, as they gave me a much better sense of who my ancestors were and how they lived. I will pay it forward.