Tell us what you know about the history of WORLD WAR I without using anything but your own brain

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

An important guy named Franz Ferdinand got shot around the time the titanic sank, and his wife got shot too, leaving their kids orphaned. But beyond the problem that caused their family, there was some squabbling in Europe and Germany made its first bid for world domination. Lots of people died, some got shot like the poet Wilfred Owen, and more died of the flu of 1918. People who didn’t join the war weren’t called pussies like they might be now, but given white feathers to show that others felt that they were cowards.

Later on Franz Ferdinand was resurrected, and he’s had some decent radio hits. Frankly, I think “You’re the Reason I’m Leaving” and “No You Girls” aren’t as good as “Take Me Out” - seriously, who says R.E.M. as “rem”? - but I’m not sure if he’s some sort of zombie, or merely reincarnated, so I guess there isn’t a lot to complain about.

22

American, I know nothing of this fabircated World War I you speak of.

Seriously :o (but in all fairness I really didn’t pay attention in History class)

I’ll fight my own ignorance by reading this thread!..some other time…

23

:dubious: Ate all the Crayons during history class? Pass me the Macroni and cheese from your box of 106 colors please!

24

The red baron was a (fictional?) fighter pilot flying for Germany, who shot down dozens of allied planes and developed a reputation for being invincible.

And some other stuff happened.

25

raises hand Oh! I know this! There’s a little beagle that tries to shoot him down from his red dog house!

26

British losses at the battle of Jutland were largely due to Admiral Beatty ordering flash suppressors in the ammunition hoists on his ships disabled to allow faster firing rates. Ironically, it was only on his flagship that this had not been done, as his gunnery officer refused to comply with the order.

Beattys famous quote about there being “something wrong with our damn ships today” was quite accurate, and all his own fault!

British.

27

The war started in 1914, over an assassination in Sarajevo. By 1918, over 25 million people were dead. A truce was signed in 1918, and held until 1939-then it began again.

28

At just the bare bones, I know that Europe had various alliances up the wazoo in the runup to 1914, tensions were running high, and it was at that point a Serbian (?) nationalist assassinated Arch Duke Franz Ferdinand of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, thereby triggering mobilizations by all and sundry. I think the Russians had interests in the Balkans and it was primarily for that reason that they started mobilizing to forestall or warn off retaliatory action by the Austro Hungarians in that part of the world. The Russians were allied with the French and (I think indirectly) the English, while the A-H’s were allied with the German Empire. Everyone thought it would be over by Christmas, but 1914 dragged into 1915 and 1916 as modern military equipment outmatched 19th century tactics. Going into 1917 the Russians dropped out (Treaty of Brest-Litovsk) as they faced revolution at home, but the advent of tank warfare and the entry of the United States (Black Jack Pershing) turned the tide against the Central Powers. The Germans were forced into a negotiated settlement and heavy reparations, the A-H Empire broke up somehow, Wilson went to Versailles and his generous Fourteen Points were roundly laughed out of the room by British and French leaders who were adamant that the Hun pay a heavy price.

What else? Much Aussies and Kiwi blood was spilled for the sake of Churchill’s folly at Gallipoli; Lawrence of Arabia was running a sideshow of a sideshow in the Arabian desert; the Allies invaded Siberia at some point to try to support the White Russians; and of course there were horrible battles like Verdun and the Somme.

Oh, and my grandfather went through a region of France called Lorraine, thought it was pretty, and named his first daughter after it some time after the war.

ETA: I’m an American living in Asia, somewhere past my 39th birthday.

29

I’m surprised by all these calls of alliances being a dumb idea when even today it is an integral part of many nations defense.

The actual problem was not that there were intricate alliances but, that the alliances set up under Otto Von Bismarck which politically isolated France from Europe, was undone by the pig headed, and petty Kaiser Wilhelm II.

Wilhelm II also made sure that he steered Germany into conflicts over African colonial forays and muscled its way into a Naval arms race with Great Britain. As much as popular history tries to make it look like everyone was to blame it was Germany, hungry to establish itself as a major power, that accelerated what was a minor political incident between Austria and Serbia (Which was quickly resolved when war broke out) into a World war.
Oh and off the top of my head

Arch duke assassinated in Serbia.
Austria sends Ultimatum which is set up to embarrass and neuter Serbia
Serbia refuses and Austria Mobilizes
Russia, in support of Serbia begins mobilization
Germany Mobilizes and despite a few letters exchanges between cousins Wilhelm and Nicolas Germany does not back down.
France begins to Mobilize in support of Russia and to get back at Germany for loss of Alsace and Lorraine in 1871 Franco/Prussian war
Germany opts for Schlieffen plan swinging through Belgium and Netherlands into France and straight for the capital.

Britain drawn in due to treaty guaranteeing Belgium’s neutrality.

German Army halted in France in Miracle of the Marne where every available cab and auto transport enough French troops to stop German advances.

After a few vain cavalry attacks trying to outmaneuver and break through each sides lines both sides dig in and there is a race to the sea as they try feebly to outflank each other.

1914 ends with an unauthorized Christmas truce on the Western Front denoted by several gift exchanges and soccer games between combatants. It is quickly halted by the officers and neither side would do that again for the duration of the war.

The next four years saw major bloody battles at Ypres, Somme, and Paschendale in which heavy artillery bombardment followed by a rush of troops was designed to break through the deadlock. Tens of thousands are lost killed or injured in each battle which last weeks on end.

Germany tried to use mustard gas to dislodge the British lines and came close to breaking through during the panic, luckily the Canadian line held when one officer recalling some chemistry lessons ordered his men to urinate on their hankies and cover their faces. (The ammonia in the urine crystallized the chlorine making it inert) The holding action allows for other British regiments to fill the gaps and stop the German advance.

In the Air planes, a new technology go from simple reconnaissance to fighters to bombers as pilots on both sides invent the art of air combat , including squadrons and Dogfighting tactics. Many Aces rise to fame.

At sea the floating big guns get only a few chances to meet and after the Battle of Jutland the German Navy never ventures out again. Meanwhile the German U boats show the world a new type of Naval warfare.

Tanks are introduced in 1917 and accompanied with new tactics on the ground the war begins to become more mobile. The United States is drawn into the ware after the sinking of the Lusitania by a German Sub when Germany engages in unrestricted submarine warfare.

Russia which had not fared as well as the Western nations with many German victories by Generals such as Hindenburg, coupled with Russian civil unrest and poor supplies for the soldiers on the front. Russia erupts into revolution and the Czar is arrested. The new Russian government tries to resume the war but the Bolsheviks under the smuggled in Lenin and Trotsky stage another revolution over throw the new government and sue for peace with the Germans.

1918 had Germany try one last offensive with the new troops transfered from the East, but with Fresh soldiers from the US to bolster the Western ranks Germany’s advances petered out and exhausted eventually accepted an armistice with the Western alliance but due to its weakened condition (having just overthrown their own Kaiser and suffering a few Mutinies in the navy) Germany accepts terms which favour the other side.

Treaty of Versailles signed but Wilson’s 14 points not passed by US congress and weakened US influence leads to stronger terms against Germany.

Pause button hit. World war I restarts in 1939 with a new name to finally settle the matter of Germany’s place in Europe.

30

Heh.

31

Yes, I think the alliance system gets too much blame. It probably prevented some fighting by acting as a deterent - countries avoided fighting small wars because they knew they would turn into big wars. But the downside was that when a small war was started (Austria vs Serbia) it did indeed turn into a big war.

But the bottom line was that nobody really got dragged into the war. They all had their reasons for fighting. Italy, which was an ally of Austria and Germany but genuinely didn’t want to go to war, didn’t declare war in 1914. The Ottoman Empire, which had no alliance with anyone in 1914, ended up declaring war anyway.

32

It happened in the 19-teens. It was a war involving a lot of countries (hence the name)… inasmuch as a world war can be said to have started with a single event, it started when some dude shot an archduke in Austria, I think. The Germans and some others fought against England and some others, eventually the United States got involved and send over a bunch of dudes called doughboys. There were trenches and mustard gas and shiiiiitloads of people died. Some countries stopped being the countries that they were and started being other countries, but that’s hardly news in that part of town anyway.

It was called the Great War (in the USA anyway, can’t speak for anywhere else) until Germany got all cranky again and we had to start numbering the damned things. Oddly, the second one inspired about a thousand times as many crappy FPS games as its predecessor.

33

Didn’t I see this on Deep Space Nine? :slight_smile:

34

Okay, Archduke Ferninand was assassinated. But the first attempt failed. The guy who threw the bomb missed. So he went off and got a sandwich. Coincidentally, the motorcade took a wrong turn and passed by that sandwich shop on its way back from wherever it was going, so the guy gave it another go with his gun and accomplished his mission.

I only ever know stupid random trivia like this.

35

I’m American, educated in public schools.

World War I lasted from 1914 to 1919. It started when Gavrilo Princip, a member of the Serbian nationalist group the Black Hand (or was it Red Hand? I forget) assassinated the Archduke Ferdinand of the Austro-Hungarian Empire in Sarajevo. I’ve been on the bridge where it happened, btw. Then Princip jumped off the bridge, but succeeded only in breaking his legs, so he got arrested. Anyway, then the Austro-Hungarians went to war with Serbia, only Serbia was allied with Russia, so they got into the war, and then Germany was allied with the Austro-Hungarians, so they got into the war, and then everyone else in Europe was allied to one of these countries and eventually they all got into the war and spent several years trying to kill each other in trenches in France. Some countries had alliances with nations on both sides and then it was craaaaazy trying to figure out who to support! Some countries (like Italy) had ~secret~ alliances and predicting what side they would join was quite difficult. (Italy ended up joining the Central Powers.)

Woodrow Wilson attempted to keep the US out of the war because the US was in an isolationist phase at the time, but then…oh gosh, there was the Zimmerman Telegram, I think was what it was called? The Americans intercepted a telegram from the Germans to the Mexicans trying to get Mexico to invade the US? I’m feeling fuzzy on the details. So American backs were up. Then the Lusitania was sunk and people changed their minds and the US joined in the war.

Also, a lot of Australians and New Zealanders were the victims of terrible strategy and got slaughtered in Turkey.

Eventually everyone got tired of fighting and they signed the Treaty of Versailles, which demanded the Germans pay like, a bazillion deutschmarks in reparations, setting the stage for World War Two.

The End.

36

The start of bombing cities from the air is started by Germany with fleets of airships dropping hundreds of tons of bombs by the end of the war. Later, airships are replaced by large multi- engine bombers like the Gotha.

37

Little Kaiser Willie wanted a big navy like his mommy, Victoria, and a continent-wide arms race develops. Some idiot shoots a Duke and everybody goes ape-shit. Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia, causing a wave of “X declares war on Y” phrases based on pre-war alliances. Somehow, Russia mobilizes before anyone else, but it really only means that Poland gets stepped on by them instead of somebody else.

Some fucking brilliant military man saw trenches being dug at the end of the US Civil War years earlier and takes the “duck and cover” tactic two or three steps further. For most of the war, battles are fought over literally feet of ground. That doesn’ stop generals on both sides from using their men as bantha pudu, ordered to run (or even walk, kicking soccer balls to keep from moving to fast) across hundreds of yards of coverless terrain, only to be mowed down by the newly-invented slaughter device called the machine gun.

The mindless killing is so bad some gunners go crazy from seeing the results of their bullet sweeps. Others go crazy from the constant shelling. The ones that don’t go crazy get so tired of killing each other they all sing Silent Night together during a Christmas break in the fighting.

“Oh, that was lovely.”
“Danke. Nice harmony”
“Thank you. Do you mind not shooting me in the back when I go back to my trench?”
“Sure thing. I won’t shoot you 'til tomorrow.”
“Me, too. Merry Christmas.”
“Fröhliche Weihnachten.”

Soon it becomes considered lucky to be killed via traditional gunpowder, as poisonous chemicals start getting thrown around like confetti on New Years. As if war wasn’t frightening enough, now everybody starts wearing steampunk Darth Vader masks. The new gasses kill in a horrifically painful manner. Often they stop before the “kill” part, and just go with the “horrifically painful” part, leaving victims in a living hell for years.

Other newly-invented weapons of war are introduced, like the airplane, tank, and submarine. Pilots are chivalrous to each other, big whoop. An even more efficient agent of Death shows up in the form of influenza. This kills soldiers and civilians alike, all over the world. Death has to sharpen his sickle due to overuse.

Russia gets mired in its own revolution and civil war. Despite getting an awesome alcoholic drink named after them, the White Russians lose to Lenin. Lenin (not the Beatle) makes good on his promise to stop letting his countrymen get killed by Germans and pulls Russia out of the war. Russians continue the tradition of getting killed by other Russians.

America comes to the party late after Germany supposedly tries to get Mexico to join their side. American troops sent over to Europe are killed en masse attempting to catch up to other nations’ casualty counts. The reinforcements they provide show the central powers that they’re losing the war of attrition and decide to capitulate.

Besides ending the war, the Treaty of Versailles screws the German economy, but makes for some very interesting post-war culture and governmental experiments over in Weimar.

In reality, the war stoppage is temporary. The Great War simply continues in 1939 under a new name: “The Empire Strikes Back.”

The short, short version: A metric assload of people are killed for no reason, and it really sucked.

38

Without checking anything:

The Archduke Ferdinand got shot in Sarajevo by a Serbian nationalist. This action resulted in a cascading chain of diplomatic deterioration. Different sides lined up; France, England and Russia vs. Germany, Austria-Hungary, etc. I believe Italy changed sides halfway through. One notable thing was that Germany and France were not on the same side. Given the Franco-Prussian war and Napoleon and stuff, this added additional tension.

War broke out. On the eastern front, it was bloody, but I don’t know that much about it. Russia just basically threw people at it, and really came out badly. On the western front, things quickly got stalled out in France, and they spent a few years in trenches, barely moving at all, but managing to do extensive casualities. Gas was awful. Lots of people died from things other than being shot. The casualties were, to our modern eyes, absolutely awful. But it basically stalemated.

The US came in fairly late, and the balance tipped shortly afterward, though that was more a matter of the Axis caving out of sheer exhaustion, and not exactly a tactical victory. Plus the Spanish Flu was starting, and that was some really bad shit. Germany got pretty shafted in its terms, and the crappiness of the war in Russia pretty much directly led to the revolution. Russia may have suffered an actual defeat in this, but you couldn’t hold me to it.

39

Summed up: It was a damn fool war that wasted millions of lives for no good reason.

40

The Schlieffen Plan, the Triple Entente, Franz Ferdinand, the expectation of a six-month war (like 1870), the German railway system that was designed to become a logistical arm of the German Army if war was declared, the Western disregard for Turkey, the “sick man of Europe,” with unfortunate consequences when it came in on the side of the Central Powers, the myth of the Russian giant, the French retreat that (just barely) didn’t become a rout, the taxicabs of Paris, the years of trench warfare, sending thousands of soldiers “over the top” into the face of entrenched machine guns, the Somme, Gallipoli, the Russian Revolution effectively taking Russia out of the war, the U.S. entry into the war, reconnaissance by airplane and balloon, the dining car in the forest.

Sorry for the “We Didn’t Start the Fire” version of WWI, but that’s about all I’ve got the time for.