Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
At first there was nothing which exploded and this explosion eventually created a bunch of monkeys looking at pictures of naked monkeys on the internet.
The wonderful place God made for His children to play and explore, having a living and female spirit, the womb of His children.
There was this dude in another universe who owned a really huge computer and wanted to build a really gargantuan cellular automaton with transition rules similar to Conway’s game of Life. And so he did. But unlike Conway’s his CA is always growing. At first, it expanded really fast (cosmic inflation) but then slowed down to something its current value (although it appears to be speeding up again).
we had better pray that he has a good uninterruptable power supply, or else that his world never has power failures.
in the beginning, my brain said “Let Me Exist”, and I existed.
Then my brain said "It would be really cool if there was more to me than just a brain, and spent the next bit of time inventing cool bits to play with.
Then my brain cast about, and said “What would be even more cool would be if there was something outside myself, so that I could converse with it!”
Eventually, getting bored with conversing with other things that frequently didn’t see things the same way, my brain thought it would be cool if things existed that didn’t talk back.
Thus, the rest of the Universe was born.
BOOM!!!
Then a bunch of other stuff happened, ultimately resulting in particle matter, stars and galaxies, planets, carbon-based life forms, and cell phones.
God’s a chick, kanic. Everybody knows that.
Yeah. A chick with a dick, though. You’ve seen the pictures, right?
Yeah, since the appearance of life on Earth. Wild, huh? Cosmologists are still scratching their head over that one.
Nothing exploded. We think something called a Higgs Boson caused nothing to explode, or was at least involved in the explosion of nothing into everything.
This explosion of nothing apparently made a large whump, or some other noise of scale.
We think it was an explosion because scientists can still measure active expansion of the universe.
Thus concludes my ignorant understanding of the origins of the universe!
Can they actually measure expansion, or have our units of measurement and tools to measure become more accurate over the years?