Tell your "Date from Hell!" stories!

In My Humble Opinion
1

And now, in the spirit of my wildly successful “Strangest roommate stories” thread, is another thread bound to entertain and enthrall Dopers of all stripes!
Tell us about your “date from hell.” Who was it with? What made it so bad? Was it his/her fault, or yours? Did you go out with him/her again?

Since it is customary, I will begin with my own story in this vein. The worst date of my life was my very first solo date, wherein I was entrusted with the family car. I can be honest in retrospect, and admit this disastrous affair was as much my fault as anyone’s, either through immaturity or inexperience.
To begin with, I did not go out with the girl I had wanted to date. THAT girl had turned me down. (I was 17, btw) So I called up another girl I knew casually, and talked her into going out with me.
So at the appointed date I arrive at her house, not that enthusiastic at the prospect of spending an evening with her. I mean, I wasn’t very attracted to her, but I was going to go out with someone now that I was allowed to drive myself, damn it!
Rude Shock #1 - She had a broken leg. We did not attend the same high school, so I didn’t know she was on crutches until she answered the door.
But I was a real “go with the flow” kind of guy, so we get in the car and head off on the 20-minute drve to the movie theater. She is still under the impression this is a real date, so she therefore tries to make conversation. This intereferred with my efforts to tune out to my favorite tape, which annoyed me just a little.
Rude Shock #2 - It begins sleeting, and the roads get icy. I have never even driven by myself before, so of course I’ve never driven on ice or snow. I nearly get us killed at least twice. There was good side to this, from my point of view: she finally shut up.
We eventually get to the restaurant, and make it inside, where I receive. . . .
Rude Shock #3 - They have a three-HOUR wait for a table. Being the dating genius I am, it never ocurred to me that I might need a reservation. This totally unexpected development leaves me flummoxed. So we walk/hobble back to the car, to plan our next move. We decide to drive across the street to where the movies are playing and watch a flick first, instead of eating. So then comes. . . .
Rude Shock #4 - The line in front of the movie theater was at least 200 yards long. Standing for a long as a line like this would’ve taken to whittle down was out of the question for her. Standing in line by myself never ocurred to me for two reasons: a)It was so cold there was snow on the ground, and b) I was no gentleman. Had I been older and smarter than I was then, I would’ve realized at this point the evening was approaching unsalvageable, but I soldiered on.
We drive clear across town to another movie theater (the roads are getting really horrendous) only to find that theater has gone out of business since I was last in town. For some reason I no longer remember we end up driving BACK to the first theater, where we purchase tickets (the line was gone) for a movie neither one of us really wanted to see.
We have two hours yet, so I take her back across town again and buy her dinner at . . .wait for it. . . Bob Evans. God was I smooth.
The rest of the evening was quite uneventful. We ate, watched the movie (it was “Blink”) and went home.

Amazingly, we were still friends after this, although we didn’t speak for a month. I haven’t seen that girl in nearly seven years though. Last I heard she worked for Morgan Stanley Dean Witter.

2

Back in college, I was playing D&D with this group of people I didn’t know well. One couple brought a lady they knew into the game. She was pretty quiet; after several games, I hadn’t even learned her last name.

She called me one night and said that she’d like to go out with me, that she thought I was a neat guy because of what she’d seen in gaming sessions and from what our mutual friends had told her about me.

We went out to see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. On the way there, she told me a lot about herself. That every single friend she had ever had had told her that she was completely friggin’ insane and that she should get some serious help. That she kept threatening to commit suicide because nobody believed anything she said. That she really didn’t have anything going for her in her life but one thing: She knew that I was the Perfect Man for her, the Man she Wanted to Marry. Right that very night, if I was willing.

I didn’t really enjoy the movie that much.

We didn’t get married.

3

Not really a date, but…

One time in college my roomies and I got a random call from some crazy girl. She was pretty funny on the phone and wanted to come over. We jokingly asked her if she could fit through a hula hoop and she said “Sure!”

She lied. :frowning:

(No, I’m not a “fat basher” so save all your self-righteous sanctimony for Richard Simmons. :stuck_out_tongue: )

4

Did ya at least get a piece?

:smiley:

5

Okay, my very first date was a nightmare. But, because it was my very first date, I had nothing to compare it with so I really hadn’t set the bar all that high. Also, I was 18–pretty old for first date territory, so I was fairly desperate. The guy who asked me out was 32 at the time and a male librarian (please, no offense to any male librarians out there, but there are those among you who are decidedly weird and I’ve since sworn off the lot!)

He invited me to spend the day in Newport with him and I quite readily agreed. He had a whole agenda planned out for us. In fact, he’d written it all out on the backs of old catalog cards and, as we’d complete an item on his list, he’d take the card out and cross it off. At dinner later that day, he mentioned he had issues and proceeded to take one of the steak knives on the table and cut his finger with it–just enough to draw some blood. He said that calmed him down and I was so beautiful that I made him nervous. He said he thought we’d be together for a very long time. I smiled, nodded, and thought to myself, “only as long as it takes me to shut the car door when you drop me off, freak-boy!”

6

a couple of years ago i had a class that did a lot of group work. we had to meet periodically to work on some things. one time we were all talking about things we like to do. i mentioned something about bowling. one guy asked me if i wanted to go. hell, i’m always up for bowling. i wasn’t at all interested in him. he was a really hot guy, but i just wasn’t attracted to him. anyways, this was us just hanging out, right?

the day before he emails me asking if i wanted to get dinner too. sure, why not? we all have to eat. i go out to eat with friends all the time.

the next day he shows up with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine. he made reservations at a very nice restaraunt. the kind where some one is going around playing a violin… yeah, this hanging out as friends isn’t going as i planned at all. dinner was nice. afterwards we went to the place he worked as a bartender (another posh place). then i suggested we go to the bar where my friend worked. it was more my type of place… relaxed.

he proceeds to get a little drunk. we go upstairs to hang out with my friend. who shows up at this bar? my former neighbor who i haven’t seen in about a month… the guy that i had been messing around with over the summer. the one that i still liked.

anyways, it didn’t work out with either guy. it took me forever to get the point across to the guy from my group that i wasn’t interested in him. he still didn’t give up though. well, not until i moved away for a semester and he started making passes at my best friend (who had a boyfriend- and he knew that). she’s more abrupt than i am. she told him off. he hasn’t been a problem since.

7

I was invited over to my ex-girlfriend’s house by her, and I was sitting in her bedroom while she was in the bathroom. I look under her bookshelf, and what do I find?

Chick tracts. Lots of Chick tracts.

Talk about a turn-off.

8

Mine was with a cop. Remember that title for future reference.:rolleyes:

He showed up an hour and a half late. Then he took me out to dinner…at Taco Bell. He didn’t get any napkins, and he’s sitting there talking to me with food all over his face. I got up, got some napkins,wiped his face for him, and he still didn’t get my not-so-subtle hint. He immediately took a bite of his burrito, got food all over his face, and just let it sit there.

We went to a movie, which was ok because there was no talking or eating involved.

When he took me home, I went to give him a quick kiss on the cheek goodbye. He was instantly all over me. He started grabbing my chest and grinding himself against me. I shoved him away and that was the last time I saw him.

9

Friends of mine fixed me up with a guy they knew. He came over and we went to a Clint Eastwood movie. I hated the movie, but what the heck…

Afterwards, we were back at my house just talking - getting acquainted. He mentioned something about an attorney and how he wasn’t supposed to have left his home state. He mentioned a murder-for-hire charge. He professed his innocence. After he went home, I never saw or heard from him again.

A day or two later, my friends called me in a panic “Stay away from this guy - do you know what he did??” They found out a little too late to warn me.

Some months later, I got a letter from the guy - he was in prison under a new name. He testified against another guy involved in the murder-for-hire thing and got a reduced sentence and a new identity. He’d also gotten religion and he wanted to come clean to me.

Last blind date I ever went on.

10

FairyChatMom stole the shock value of “So I Dated a Murderer.”

Actually, mine is more mundane—went out with someone a friend fixed me up with. He said he was quite nervous, but it really came off as arrogance. Then he had a drink to unwind. Then another one. Then launched into a really long monologue about all the people he had killed when he was in the Navy SEALS. Really really really long monologue, complete with details about which weapons are best for what, etc.

He was shocked when I told him later that I didn’t want to go out again, and said, “I don’t know why this happens every single time I talk about being in the military.”

11

FairyChatMom is the winner so far. . . .

12

I dunno - I think the Chick Tracts are pretty scary… :eek:

13

Hmmm. Well, there was the girl that I dated for a couple of weeks, then when I called her one day, the phone was disconnected, and when I went over to her place there was a “For Rent” sign out front and the place was empty. I still have no idea what happened to her.

And then there was the girl that my friends and I dubbed “the medium.” I have no problem with people that believe in ghosts, or think they can see ghosts in the bar, or begin conversations out loud with ghosts sitting in our booth - I’d just prefer not to date them.

14

Madrid, spring 1988. Naive American college student doesn’t realize that a woman standing alone in the corner of a club is a magnet for every sleazy, drunken Spaniard within a 100-km radius. That, plus I was too shy to dance in public, so probably nobody realized I was actually there with a group of half a dozen people.

By about 3 am or so, I’m pretty bored, but don’t want to go home by myself, even though I only live a few blocks away. Some guy named Miguel comes over and starts chatting me up, and an hour later, when my friends had all regrouped and were ready to leave, I couldn’t get rid of him for the life of me. He wanted to follow me home, and I was not at all crazy about letting him know where I lived. But he wouldn’t go away until I promised to meet him the following evening.

I had every intention of blowing him off, but in my 4 am fog, I agreed to meet him at the bus stop closest to the rooming house-type place I was living. The next day I went to the movies with a friend (Gone With The Wind, dubbed in Castilian Spanish; don’t ask!), arriving home 2+ hours after I said I’d meet him; the poor schmuck was still standing there!

Stupidly, I agreed to go out with him, in spite of the multiple red flags. We ended up at a series of bars and tapas joints, and no matter how many times I told him I didn’t drink, he kept buying me beers (I hate beer). After a repulsive and slimy interlude during which I was damn lucky not to get date-raped (I’ll spare you the TMI details), he realized he wasn’t going to get lucky that night and told me that for as liberal as I claimed to be, I might as well have been Ronald Reagan. That was when I told him I felt safer wandering around Madrid at 4 am by myself on foot than staying in the bar with him, and got up and left. He followed me, and I told him if he didn’t get out of my way I’d call the cops. (First sensible thing I’d done all night.)

Wanna know why I don’t date guys I meet in bars? That’s why.

15

When I was a freshman in college I was terribly, horribly, hopelessly, desperately in love with a guy from my Stats class. Let’s call him Paul. Paul sat next to me one day in class and we made fun of the professor, who had a white-boy afro, polyester pants, and platform shoes (think Disco Stu from The Simpsons here). From there on in, we sat together for every class, and found out that we had a lot in common, not the least of which was our immense and intense dislike for Stats.

Semi-related aside: Ever since I was about 16 years old, and the hormones kicked in BIG TIME, I wanted to get a Reputation-with-a-Capital-R. We are talking major Bad Girl City here, except nobody took me seriously. I had the push-up bras and The Joy Of Sex and everything, but in high school I was told, “You can’t have sex, you’re a nerd.” Ouch.

Paul was the first guy I met in college who did not tell me I reminded him of his “kid sister,” so when he finally asked me out on a date, I was fully prepared to give It up. I really hussied it up for this date, too - new undies, plunge neckline, the whole nine. I even bought red lipstick, thus ensuring my reservation in Hell.

Long story short, Paul and I had a great date, and my dorm roommate was out of town for the weekend, and I had hidden the ugly flannel nightgowns from my grandmother, and we were standing outside my room at two in the morning when he whispered oh-so-sexily in my ear, “I really like it when you wear your hair like that - it reminds me of my boyfriend back home.”

Screeeeeeeech.

D’oh! Ruined the mood, to say the least. Paul and I remained friends after that, but I couldn’t date him any more. I have enough trouble accepting that I might get left for another woman. I didn’t date another guy until I met the man who later became my husband.

It’s not as good as dating a murderer but it’s the best story I have.

16

:eek:

My worst date was making the immortal words of Law and Order’s detective Mike Logan into a living reality: “going to the senior prom and scoring bare wrist.” I will assign 100% of the blame to myself, since I was clueless beyond all belief.

If I had known then what I know now…

17

some how i always get myself into bad situations…

this guy asked me out. we went to dinner which consisted of him trying to prove that he was in control… why i didn’t say “take me home now” i still don’t know. instead afterwards he drives around in circles trying to disorient me. he takes me to his place where we watch a movie. midway through it he pauses it, turns to me, shoves his tongue down my throat and then says “i gotta piss”.

he later picks me up and carries me to his room. he takes off my clothes (i was resisting, but he was twice my size) and tries to have sex with me. this i manage to get him to stop. luckily his roommate came home.

when he takes me home he pushes my head into his crotch. the next morning i find a thumb shaped bruise on my arm.

i’m lucky that nothing worse happened to me that night. this is why i don’t date.

18

Are you sure she didn’t just collect them for shits and giggles? A lot of people just like to read them and laugh.

19

oh boy…I have three such hopeless endeavors un-brilliantly disguised as dates…

Exhibit A (AKA, “Charity Date”):
Back in H.S. I was pining for this girl so bad yet couldn’t get the courage up to ask her out. I was enormously popular - yet incredibly shy at that point in my life (huh!? – yeah, weird but true). So I decided to send this girl some flowers for valentines day - but leave the signature as “anonymous”. Well, this caused a bit of confusion (especially since she thought it was from a friend of mine!). Once she figured out they were from me - she meekly approached me and aggreed to go out the coming weekend. At the time, I was at best “less than a brilliant conversationalist” - which by default promised to throw a few wrenches into the evening. I picked her up and things were going fine (conversation-wise) - we went and had dinner and I soon realized that this girl had no interest in me, nothing to say, and wanted to get out of there! Ahh…but clueless me foraged on! We get to the theatre and find out the only thing that was playing was “the Color Purple” ( http://www.imdb.com/Title?Color+Purple,+The+(1985) ). Not wanting to go home so early – we decided to give the movie a go. That was wrong! That movie went on and on and on… I remember nodding off at least once during it. Blew right past both our curfews. The only remarkable thing said post movie exit was an utterance by her something of the effect of “well, that was something that maybe my mom and I may have gone to…”. We had practically a silent drive back to her parents in which she BOLTED out the car door while waving goodbye and quickly slipped inside the house. We never spoke much of any significance after that!

Exhibit B (AKA, “WTF just happened! Date”):
This one was a mysterious “no show”. I had been emailing and chatting (phone) with this woman for several weeks, when I asked her on a snow shoe hike in the Cascades. Since I would have to rent a lot of the gear (mostly hers) - I wanted to make sure that we were still going. We made the plans on Sunday. Monday things were going fine (good email conversation). Weds. called and left a message about the time to pick her up (that we’d agreed upon) and so forth. I show up on Sat. – nowhere to be seen! Call - nothing. I waited around for quite some time and finally just went by myself. She never did talk to me again! That was just plain weird.

Exhibit C (AKA, “never date an overly flirtacious woman” date):
I had met this hot woman through a friend at work and went and had drinks with her and another friend. Things were going very nicely – she gave me those mesmerizing “come hither” eyes all evening and we hit it off really well. We decided to go out the forthcoming night and was looking really forward to it. This girl was a real partier. After dinner - we hit a club for a few drinks. Did some dancing and havving fun. I went to get some drinks for us and after several drinks in both of us as well as a couple of dances – I had to make a quick stop in the restroom. Upon coming out - she not only was out on the dance floor – but seemingly in permanent lip lock with some other dude! I was so pissed! When we finally made eye contact – she acted like she had never seen me before! Well I bolted out of that club and haven’t seen her since…

geez…in reading over these again - kinda embarressing! - I did get much better at the dating game later on though!

20

I haven’t had any really bad dates. I had quite a few of those awkward “I think it’s a date, yet we wind up hanging out with all her friends that I don’t know” dates when I was a teen.