Terrible Translations

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, we had a company from China send us some samples of their products as a prospective business partner. They sent these plastic purse things that are clear with pictures of girls in hearts and such, classic Japanese big eyes over lacy hearts and stuff. You know, the kind of thing a 10 year old girl would carry before she is old enough for a purse. One is printed in pink and one is yellow.

They also printed sayings on these bags. I am quoting word for word, misspelling and punctuation exactly as shown on the bags.

Love is never say sorry. Please say love me instead of sorry. Please say happy to be with me instead of thank me. Love is being her eyelashes. When she watches, I watch same place, when she crys, I am also wet, when she close eyes, I close eyes together.

We are couple out of world. My heart is flamable when I see your beautiful eyes. I am so happy with you. Nobody is like you. You are the one of mine. When I wake up in the morning, I feel you. You are like glaring morning sunshine.

2

My Co-workers are leaning over and giving me strange looks.

I am going to tell my SO that she is like Glaring Morning Sunlight, and that I want to be her eyelashes.

Fortunately, she does appreciate the surrealistically romantic. I am blessed.

3

Nothing says “good morning” like a grope.

snort… snicker… chortle… guffaw!

Sounds like something I’d say before my first cup of coffee (I’m a wee bit cranky in the morning.)

4

Other times, it meets U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission flammability requirements.

5

You’d certainly enjoy this page.

6

I have one right here on my shelf. It is a bottle that I found on the beach near Santa Barbara which reads as follows:

CHARACTER
Fresh Lotion

The best present for you - A man
Your attraction is masculine