Testicular Yogi Master

[Shai_tan]

In this Straight Dope classic, Cecil wrote:

@Cecil Adams

In humans the testes are suspended from the cremasteric muscle, which is controlled by the autonomic (involuntary) nervous system. This muscle raises and lowers the testicles as necessary to keep the temperature-sensitive sperm at a constant simmer. Under certain stimuli, such as a cold shower or, more entertainingly, a gentle stroking on the inside of the upper thigh, the “cremasteric reflex” takes over and the testes are partially retracted into the body.

It’s been shown that automatic functions such as blood pressure can be consciously controlled through yoga and the like, and presumably the same could be done with the testicles. Not that it’d be all that helpful as a means of protecting yourself–you’d still be vulnerable to a well-placed jolt to the groin, and besides, it’s hard to conduct an authentically terrifying fistic offense while in a yoga trance state.

Apparently, I have yet another useless super power. I can raise and lower my testicles at will! No yoga trance needed. (Of course, I can also raise/lower my blood pressure and speed/slow my pulse as well. Just have to think about them.)

That is all.

[FriarTed]

Dwight Schrute?

[The_Devil_s_Grandmother]

@Shai_tan

Apparently, I have yet another useless super power. I can raise and lower my testicles at will!

Is the change really noticeable or just something you can feel? I’d ask for a youtube video, but it’s a little too close to the meme of asking “cite” every time someone mentions her breasts.

[The_Surb]

@Shai_tan

In this Straight Dope classic, Cecil wrote:

Apparently, I have yet another useless super power. I can raise and lower my testicles at will!

Who’s Will?

Aw come on, somebody had to do it.

[Shai_tan]

@The_Devil_s_Grandmother

Is the change really noticeable or just something you can feel?

No, it’s quite obvious. You can watch them move. Well… I can at any rate. Its not as speedy a process as lifting an arm, say. Probably takes a full two to three seconds to change from one extreme to another. And I find it easier to do so when they are naturally decended. Like on a relaxing, warm day. I can get them to relax and drop some, when it’s cold and they are not inclined to do so, but its not as easy.

[The_Devil_s_Grandmother]

Fascinating. How did you discover you can do this? Have you always been able, or did you only try after reading Cecil’s article? I wish I had the nerve to do a Google search, but anything involving the words “cremasteric reflex” is probably going to need more brain bleach to get rid of than I can afford.

[HeyHomie]

I’m gonna have to ask for a Youtube video. Not that I’m interested in seeing another guy’s hairy nuts, mind, just that this screams “A million hits.”