I must preface this by stating that we have the cheapest, most basic Verizon cell phone plan…with the cheapest, most basic phones you can get. Other plans/phones may work differently.
Me via text: I need to know where the checkbook is…I have to pay my child-support today.
Her: no reply
Me via text (2 hours later): Please! Where is the checkbook? I need to pay my child support today.
Her: no reply
Me via text (2 more hours later): Look, I know you’re angry with me…but I really need to know where the checkbook is, I’m leaving to pick up my kids and I have to pay my child support.
Her: no reply
Me: goes to bank and withdraws $500 cash
Her (10 minutes after): I see you withdrew $500 from the bank…going to spend it on booze and whores I’m sure!
Me: I asked you where the checkbook is, you didn’t answer.
Her: Yes I did. Enjoy your drunk!
Fast forward to later that night…
Me: I only took cash out because you wouldn’t tell me where the check book is.
Her: I sent you a text telling you where it was, (and this is the important part) but YOU DELETED MY MESSAGE.
Me: I never got that text…and HOW would you possibly know if I deleted it?
Her: Because, on my phone, there is a little red X next to the message. That means you deleted it.
Me: no…sweetie…that means the message never went through. it means the message wasn’t sent. it means sending failed.
Her: NO! That means you deleted it without reading it!!!
Me: No, honey-buns…that means the message failed to send. We have the .99 cent plan on Verizon…we don’t get fancy stuff like that. I could delete your message…piss on it…set my phone on fire and mail it to the Pope…and you would never know…you’d still have that little green check that tells you “all is good…you’re off the hook…you sent the text message…and it went through. Coddled man got his instructions”
SO! We did an experiment…
Sitting at the kitchen table…
Me: Send me a text right now.
oh…she was so smug…
Me: ok…got the text (subject:“drunken liar”…but I digress)
Me: So here is my phone…here is your message…now look at your phone…do you have a green check mark next to the message you sent? Yes? Good? I’m deleting your message without ever reading it. We’re in agreement here, right? this is what you are accusing me of doing? This EXACT scenario?
Her: Yes…you’ll see…it will change to a red X indicating you deleted my message.
Me: No, buttercup, it won’t. You see, the green check means the message was sent successfully. The red X means it was not. Nothing more.
Argument continues well into the night…
Me: So do me a favor…check your phone. Still a green check mark next to that message we experimented with earlier???
Her: Yes…still a green check
Me: See? It has nothing to do with me deleting your messages…
Her: Well…on MY PHONE…when a message is deleted…
Me: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT…on YOUR phone???
Me: Isn’t THAT your phone???
Me: Isn’t this MY phone???