Right, OK, I’m pissed off. I am - and this is unfortunate enough in the best of times - a resident of New Jersey. Right now, you can’t even get into a freaking post office to buy stamps because they’re all closed in my area. Every strange envelope that comes into my office is greeted with fear and suspicion. It looks like we’re going to get stuck with Jim McGreevey as our next governor, a man who is so oily I get acne just from watching him on TV. And the FUCKING YANKEES WON.
So I’m not in the best of moods to begin with. Then I hear a story on the local news last night. A gentleman of Arab descent, a wealthy man, called a limousine service to order, one would imagine, a limousine. The man’s last name is “Das,” and apparently he was attempting to communicate the name to the woman who took his call and was having difficulty with it.
So, reasonably enough, he spelled it out, using words to indicate the letters (you know, "D as in David, A as in Adam, and so on). Except, showing tragic stupidity, he said instead "D as in Destruction, A as in America, and S as in States (or “Sam,” they’re not clear on that last one).
Here’s the thing: they fucking arrested him. The person on the phone thought this was disconcerting, and called the police. The police, evidently operating in some parallel universe where saying something stupid is illegal, hauled this guy in and charged him with disorderly conduct and harassment; he spent the night in jail and is now out on bail.
What the fuck fuck fuckity fuck? FIRST of all, there is nothing to prove that this wasn’t simply an unfortunate set of random words used by a person whose command of English may or may not have been perfect. Even if it was intentional, though, it’s not a goddamn crime! The idea that you could be sent to prison for verbally expressing a sentiment - even as stunningly unpopular a sentiment as this - is shocking to me. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, isn’t this why we HAVE a first amendment? To protect unpopular speech JUST LIKE THIS? How dare my government, the people I pay to represent me, use their power to suppress one of the rights on which this country was founded?
I would understand if, in response to this incident, the FBI decided to take a closer look at Mr. Das, perhaps an investigation into possible terrorist connections. And I think that he has proven himself to have not a lick of common sense or sympathy, and ought to be treated as such. But he did not deserve to be arrested, and by putting him in jail - even for a night - the government of New Jersey has put itself firmly in opposition to the precepts that our government depends upon.
So, in conclusion, to the people responsible for this mind-numbingly stupid decision, I say: Fuck you. That’s “F” as in “Frank,” “U” as in “Umbrella…”