Thank You for Firing Me

The Ice cod trainer sounds alot like my first wife…

You’re definitely better off.

At my last job things started out pretty good. Then they turned to crap as my hours were slashed to ribbons because the coordinator liked giving all the hours to people he hung out with. Then I got promoted to a full time, hugely better paying position, and things were much better (if busy). Then our company bought out another group of companies, and our workload just about doubled. I was moved to the back where they felt I, being a hard worker and fast at my job, would be put to best use. New management takes over. And then they laid off two people and didn’t hire replacements! I’m struggling in the back to keep up and perpetually falling behind and the idiots upstairs in their infinite wisdom made our work even harder by reducing staff. Retards! I started falling further behind, things were going to hell in a handcard but quick. To fix it? They laid off three more people – myself included. Called me into the office. Told me they “no longer required [my] services” and handed me a severance package. No explaination whatsoever. (This is legal under Canadian restructuring/downsizing laws)

Left the office, opened the severance package. 4 weeks. Hush money indeed. Part of me was indignant that they’d pull this crap. The greater part of me however suddenly felt enervated and relieved – like Atlas being allowed to finally remove that damn planet from his shoulders. I headed straight out the door and by the time I reached the bus stop across the street I was feeling feather-light; I could have back-flipped my way home. My greatest worry was telling the wife I got canned; she’s a worry-wart. I wasn’t concerned though. I had a month to find a new job – and in just over a month, I did. It pays slightly more than my last job, and the work environment is several orders of magnitude better, with great cow-orkers and management/owners who actually have brains in their heads. I’ve never been happier, and canning me was the greatest thing my last job ever did for me.

Not for them though. They ended up closing down that store six months later. Sucks to be them.

Wow, I guess I’m not all that alone after all.

My sister-in-law works in a lab, albeit a criminal forensics lab. I’ll have to ask her if there’s that sort of atmosphere in her workplace.

I remember working with a guy who was hounded constantly by an über cow-orker for many months. He finally left and joined the civil service. Seeing him at an office do some time later, I thought it remarkable to see him without thinking for once that his head looked like it was about to explode :slight_smile: