It’s fairly simple. Attractive people in. Unattractive people out. Having a vagina helps. If you don’t have one, show up with a group of people who do.
I’m sorry you let down your guard. You need to remind your buddy and his wife that friends don’t let friends drag people to trendy nightclubs. This should be an ironclad rule.
lieu, yeah the line judging thing is typical at these clubs in NYC. There is a line, and in theory, if you stand on this line, eventually you will get to the front and be admitted to the club. However, the staff members working the line are constantly pulling people out of the line and ushering them in. “Line” is also a little causal … sometimes it is an actual line but often more of a combination of a line and clumps of people waiting by the ropes trying to catch the bouncer’s attention. The people who are pulled out of the line are usually:
- regular visitors to the club who are recognized by the bouncer
- vague celebrities
- extremely hot well-dressed people, usually young, often women, often scantily-clad
- employees of other clubs, they all know each other
And after being selected to enter, some of those people will pay full admission, some reduced admission, and some will get in for free. If the bouncer finds you sufficiently obnoxious, unattractive, or poorly dressed, it is possible to wait at the front of the line and never be admitted. And there are plenty of bouncers who will reward otherwise mundane (by the standards of the club) people for being patient and non-complaining while they have waited on line.
The way to bypass this is to be “on the list,” so if you are a friend of the owner or whatever your name will be put on the door list and you walk right up, give your name, and are permitted to enter. There always seems to be constant confusion about this – so like the friend in the OP, sometimes you have to negotiate that upon arrival.
For these reasons and more, I personally maintain it has not been fun to go to a trendy nightclub since The Saint closed.
There are generally two methods.
The first method, which is more equitable, is when there are simply more people who want to be in the club than the club has capacity for them. So essentially, you have to wait in line until some people exit the club. There may be some favoritism for groups of women or friends of the staff, but for the most part it is simply a waiting game. Getting to these clubs early is a good way to avoid this.
The second method is when the club is trying to be “exclusive”. Doors open later so a sizable line has built up before they even start letting people in. Priority seems to go in the following order:
Groups of hot women
Mixed groups willing to pay for bottle service
Friends of the bouncer/club owner
People on guest lists (which basically means you just call ahead of time to set up a party)
Everyone else
Usually what they will say is something along the lines of “we are only doing bottle service at this time”, in which case you have the option of getting a table, a bottle of alchohol and some mixers for around $200 - $400.
Pretty much as a guy, it doesn’t matter how attractive you are since clubs rarely have to ask “how the fuck are we going to get more guys in here?”
Usually most places just go through the motions of making you wait for a few minutes then they let you in. Like “oh I’m so honored. You guys are so exclusive I can’t believe I finally got in.”
I’ve worked a couple of fill in shifts as a bouncer in clubs in Manhattan and Brooklyn. Never worked the door, just one of the “floor” bouncers.
Worst shifts of my life.
Wall to wall coked-up club whores and “x-heads” mixed with steroid-juiced Ed Hardy wearing douchebags.
Music so loud I thought it was going to shake out my fillings.
Sex and/or drug us in both restrooms.
Had to deal with multiple fights every night, and the jerk-offs were never content to stick to trying to beat the shit out of each other, I or one of the other bouncers always got hit.
After the third night I told the guy in charge that I wasn’t going to be available for any more shifts, it just wasn’t worth the stress.
This was back in '05. From what I hear from associates who still work in clubs, nothing much has changed.
And just for the record, the “dress code” and “line-up” phenomena is not the doorman’s fault. He’s doing what the owners/managers have told him to do. Yeah, he may be a jerk about it, but that attitude comes from dealing with the low-life vermin who seem to vastly outnumber “decent” club goers.
Well no wonder you like to go to these clubs, you get a free contact high while getting to say you haven’t smoked weed in over a decade! 
I know, right? My husband smokes it in a closed room, mere inches from my face…huge billowing puffs of ganja right in my face area. I guess it is time to stop saying I don’t smoke.
Well, if you need another reason to hate nightclubs, check out this story from the Houston Press, the Bayou City’s alt-weekly paper:
This guys does time in Iraq and he has to deal with this shit?
I’ll never “see” the value in a cover charge. So, to me, its “over”.
No shortage of free places to get overcharged for a beer.
Trendy clubs have been THE thing here in Vegas for about 6 years now… fortunately, the IRS and the Gaming Commission have started to take notice and a couple have even been forced to close recently.
I don’t think anyone could lay down a big enough line of blow to make me think that being in a club was a worthwhile thing to do with my time.
Been there; done that; won’t be back.