Blippi drives me nuts too.
However, it’s cool that he filmed a video at my daughter’s dance studio. (She has been training in dance there since she was 3.)
The woman dancer in the video, Emily, is my daughter’s ballet teacher. As a dance dad I’ve spent countless hours in that studio over the past 6 years.
Please don’t feel badly. Remember it took Robin Williams, Catherine Keener, and Edward Norton COMBINED to take down ‘Smoochy’…
::sigh::
My husband hit a deer with my car a couple weeks ago. Car was OK to drive, which was good because we couldn’t get a body shop appointment until December fucking 4th.
Until today, when I smelled a weird burning smell on the way home. Not sure what’s causing it – it was getting dark so hard to see, and I’m not pulling it into the garage until tomorrow just in case.
If I can’t figure out what’s going on AND fix it, I’ll either have to park it and drive the POS van for 3 weeks (I hate driving the POS van) or take it to the local mechanic and see if they can put a band-aid on whatever the problem is until we can get it to the body shop.
Not thrilled about throwing extra money at this.
Just keep driving it tomorrow. By the end of the day the hidden deer parts will be well done. Next day you’ll have deer jerky. It’s a delicacy I hear. 
.
Just kidding. Seriously, it was smart to leave the car out of the garage. Deer are a friggin’ PITA; giant rats sez I.
I think deer are beautiful animals and we’re both sorry it happened, outside of any extra hassles. I’m more pissed off about the delays in being able to get the damage addressed. Kind of like how long it takes to get health care nowadays …
Agree they are pretty to look at. And injuring or killing wildlife is not a nice thing to do deliberately, nor to have happen by accident.
But they are a dangerous nuisance on the roads and can be a nuisance at home too.
But yeah, needing to wait for weeks to get a damaged car even looked at is a total PITA. Insult onto injury and then you get to pay for it to boot.
A friend (Joe) at college was the son of a small-town electrician. He and his brothers worked with their dad, who was named Bernie. Joe claimed to never have been zapped, but said he and his brothers referred to it as ‘getting Bernied’, since dad apparently liked to work ‘hot’ occasionally to save time.
Not only would my gf’s dad never “work hot”, he also would never trust someone else to throw a breaker. He’d thank them for the offer, but he’d go do it himself.
I had a meeting November 1st to review all upcoming state grant reports for end-of-year, making sure everyone knew what they were assigned.
Deadline was November 10th. On November 10th I sent Always Late an email with a link to the report which was due, saying, “I think you already submitted this but I wanted to make sure you have the correct link.” (It’s confusing because there are like four different places to submit things.)
I submitted all of my pieces early.
Today, November 13th, three days after the deadline, I get an email response from Always Late. “Do you want me to answer all of these questions? If so we will need another meeting.”
I click on the link, look at the questions. There are a ton of narrative questions. I realize that the odds of getting her to submit this report immediately are somewhere around zero. I say, “Okay, since there are so many narrative questions I will take this over. Let’s discuss these questions during our meeting on Wednesday and I’ll submit it that day.”
Cue her frantic emails to people all over the place for the information we need. Cue our marketing person asking, “Hey, when do you need this? The deadline says November 10th.” I spend an hour trying to figure out a diplomatic email response that doesn’t say “IT’S NOT MY FAULT! BLAME ALWAYS LATE! SHE NEVER SUBMITS ANYTHING ON TIME.”
Because I am the fucking project director on these grants. It makes ME look bad when people don’t get their fucking reports in on time. And it makes the agency look bad. It’s bad.
I just cannot fucking take it any more. I call my boss and tell her I need help. Explain the issue, trying to leave names out of it, but of course it’s obvious who it is, so long story short, we’re going to have a sit-down and make it clear these reports can’t be late. They can’t be late. They can’t be late. We’re going to be audited. Jesus Fucking Christ.
I hold no ill-will against this person, I just need the fucking reports in. On. Time.
Bonus Rant
This is what’s maddening about potty training. It’s that while you’re sitting around and nothing is happening, you can’t help but wonder, if I changed the interval for trips would this be more successful? Do we need a better reinforcer? Should I have reinforced that dribble that wasn’t really a pee? It just requires this sustained faith that what you’re doing will eventually work.
My kid is extremely prompt-dependent I’m learning, such that he will stand by the potty with his hand on the handle and look at me expectantly to tell him to flush and won’t just flush the damned thing without Official Sanctioned Permission to flush. He is like that with everrrrrything. It is exhausting.
You may harbor no personal ill will, but your organization needs to fire that loser before they cost you any more damage. You can’t have what amounts to vandals working in your factory. And that’s what they are: a vandal.
The real problem is that this person has about three jobs’ worth of responsibilities and ADHD. Every time someone quits, she gets assigned that person’s work. She’s actually very good at other parts of her job. So no, I don’t think it’s a “Throw Out the Whole Person” kinda deal. It’s a kind of sit-down “How can we help you meet these deadlines?” kind of deal. She’s also besties with the CEO, so the odds of getting canned are very low.
Oops; I sure read that wrong. Sorry.
The three jobs-worth part is the management failure. The organization cannot be short-handed in the critical revenue-production department or the wheels fall completely off.
From a bunch of your posts it sounds like the whole org is held together with scotch tape and the blood of a couple key employees. Of which you’re the most critical.
Good luck. Seriously, not snarkily.
And the most bloody.
We fired a new employee when her entire job one day was to wait while we all handed her our parts (of a state anti-drug proposal), help us package them in order; then, at 9 am, drive it to the State Capitol. Since we’re three miles from the Capitol, she was never quite sure how it took her until 12:03 to get there.
The deadline was noon. Our brilliant campaign never even got looked at.
You waited until three hours before the deadline to hand it in?
I had a CEO like this once. He’d only send you what you needed at the last minute. He once sent a team to drive from Jersey to DC to drop off a grant by the deadline.
It’s just asking for trouble.
I agree it’s a management failure, though I will say it’s less being held together with duct tape now than it was six months ago. We’ve made a lot of progress. And Always Late has been a big part of that too.
It’s really just as simple as I want to meet my deadlines.
My gf is in advertising. Back when they accepted tobacco accounts, it was common for her to have to fly to submit physical hard copies to regulatory agencies because that was how it was done. They had a huge smokeless tobacco account that they turned away due to regulatory agency bullshit.
It’s impressive. The size of the warning box in a print ad is calculated by the square inches of the layout. There was a situation my gf was involved with where the size of the ad was changed. The software used wasn’t precise enough and the agency was fined as a result for an error not appreciated by the human eye.
Hm. Is there any way you could set an earlier deadline for Always Late to get you her stuff? Maybe gin up a reason why she needs to submit her info to you earlier than the deadline for everyone else? I’ve done that in the past with my own Always Lates and it worked out pretty well.
We do the opposite with my father-in-law. He will show up early to everything. Almost 15 minutes like clockwork. Then he gets antsy and gripes a bit about things taking so long.
I learned to tell him something is 15 minutes later than it really is. He then shows up pretty much on-time.
It’s like having a clock that is always exactly 15 minutes early. That clock is awesome in how consistently wrong it is, and if you just remember to subtract 15 minutes from it, it is very reliable and valuable.
I applaud your FIL and would like to subscribe to his newsletter! 
She didn’t make it.