Thanksgiving Quote Thread 2014

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Yeah, I don’t know if there was one for 2013, but I have to share one that already happened; I’m sure folk will have plenty to share by the time the weekend’s over. :slight_smile:

So…I’m in the kitchen with my mother in law, (very Spanish Catholic), her lesbian sister, and my sister in law; we are all attempting to shove a 30 pound turkey into a 20 pound bag, more or less.

Mother in law -“Just kind of put it on like a sock, or a condom…”
Me: <snerk snort cough choke>
Lesbian aunt-in-law: “Well, I’m out. I’ll leave it to you with more experience.”
Me: /dead on floor from lack of oxygen

2

I’ll just pop in to leave the ultimate Thanksgiving quote.

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

3

I was going to misquote this on Facebook today, after putting my turkey in the brine. Something about thinking turkeys could swim.
But then I decided that my friends might not get the joke, and it wasn’t worth the effort.

4

Remember the show “Win Ben Stein’s Money”?

My favorite category from that show:

The Pilgrim Was So Full After Thanksgiving Dinner He Had To Unbuckle His Hat.
mmm

5

This is both a quote and a challenge, issued annually by my sister, who starts her day with Bloody Marys and keeps going thru dinner:

“I’ll pay $5 to anyone who drinks the pitcher of gravy!”

So far, there have been no takers, probably because no one else starts Thanksgiving with Bloody Marys and keeps going…

6

There was a time…

7

“He’s not bad looking for a colored boy”
Various comments about bowel movements.
“You know, if you lost weight and drank cranberry juice, your little kidney ‘issue’ would be fixed - I know, because my cousin…”(I walked away)
“Stop signs are optional”

All from my hosts mother. She so makes me appreciate my crazy mother SO much.

8

Only the ones, with white borders