It’s a good one for me. I associate Christmas with my first husband and my father, both deceased, who adored the holiday. For whatever reason, Thanksgiving doesn’t have bad associations. It’s a pretty low stress event for me, and we usually go visit my family, which is generally fairly low key.
Thank you 
That’s how I do the week between Christmas and New Year’s.
For me, TG is a great holiday. I get to EAT LIKE A DOGGONE PIG! Seconds? Thirds? Imma have some more, thanks! Hotcha, greatest holiday ever!
Also, family, a fire on the hearth, an old movie on the telly, an after-dinner walk to burn off a tiny fraction of the calories consumed. It’s a comforting holiday.
Right now I don’t have a lot of emotional energy for taking care of other people. That might sound harsh, but I’m still healing.
I did hang out with the Jewish Federation for their Thanksgiving luncheon, but right now I have very little tolerance for Christian proselytizing and do not want to volunteer for anything related to a church, which is what most of that sort of thing is around here outside the JF.
Both good and bad. The good: I’ll have my daughters. We will have a nice low key event at my mother’s. My mother is really good at Thanksgiving cooking and at 83 can still do it. People who don’t like turkey and stuffing are communists.
The bad: when I was married everyone on both sides of the family came to our house. Hectic and exhausting but I enjoyed it. It’s been over 2 years since I’ve been in a serious relationship and I’m a relationship guy. I miss it and the holidays make it worse.
As people grow up and grow older, there becomes a defining moment where you should give up on the traditions of the older family and start your own family traditions.
My sons are in their early 30’s. I used to hate that time during the holidays. We had to go to the wife’s family for awhile, then to my family, for awhile, and then after a long day we could go home to our house and have our family. Same with Christmas. This is the age to start their own traditions and invite the older group to the younger homes.
It is a good point in our lives that I do not have to knock myself out with 2 days of food prep, one day of cooking all day, and another of clean up. My wife and I are both working for double time and a half and will stop in, have a bite and leave. It is one of the perks of getting older and watching your offspring develop new lives.
After many years of being the most competent cook and getting suckered into putting together T-giving dinners for all and sundry, I opted out. Nowadays, if the weather is even slightly cooperative, I take advantage of a little known feature of the holiday, which is that nobody’s out on the roads. Like, NOBODY. Once you get off the freeway it’s open road forever. So now I go put a few hundred miles on the car, enjoying some tunes and just digging on the scenery. If the weather sucks then I don’t do that and stay home anyway. As for the rest of the weekend, I’m self employed so my workload doesn’t change a bit regardless of everyone else’s schedule, and I’ve observed National Buy Nothing Day the Friday after the holiday for well over a decade now.
Yeah, I’m a grumpy hermit–what of it?
It’s sad that you lost your son … I lost my children too, but instead of dying they are still alive … I lost them to drugs and they do so many drugs everyday that we can’t cope with each other anymore. Have a happy Thanksgiving with your family that is left, food and music and fellowship will cover the day till they have to go home.
I wish you lived closer to me, Broomstick. 
My sympathies to you, TRC. I fully know the impact of the loss of a family member at this time of year. The holidays and the season do eventually become merry again.
This time of year is bittersweet for me. All the bad shit seems to happen around now. Death, divorce, etc. Some years have been better, good even, some have had me clinging to the edge of the precipice by my fingertips. The past 5 or 10 years have been pretty good if frustratingly exhausting (all the good stuff also seems to happen this time of year; tons of birthdays and anniversaries)
you lucky grump! Some days this time of year I would just about gnaw off my right arm to be you
Meh. I’ve had to work the day for the last two jobs and 15+ years, all the family I care about is some distance away, all the local family left are mostly drunks I avoid even at the best of times. I don’t dislike it; we have friends we always make of point of breaking bread with that day. But it doesn’t give me the excitement of some other holidays.
I am sorry to hear of the lost of your husband and I don’t think you’re being harsh about not wanting to care for other people .
I am not really crazy about the holidays , I end up feeling more alone being with a lot of people b/c I miss out a lot what people are talking about . Plus I am not crazy about spending half the day with people that I see only on the holidays . My daughter and granddaughter are coming over on Friday and spending the night . I have told my daughter if is too much not to come.
SmartAleq and I may be related. For many years, I was the hostess of the holidays, preparing all the meals with little to no help, and I was fine with that. I happily invited every stray I knew along with the regular family and friends, and I enjoy many wonderful memories from those times.
After my husband died, I was fortunate to enjoy multiple invitations to other peoples’ celebrations. Still do. Most often, I decline those and prefer to do a more modest version of the traditional feast on my own. If the weather is kind, I enjoy taking a long, leisurely ramble around the property to take photos while the bird roasts.
Last year, I went against my better judgment, accepted an invitation and drove to the coast to join friends there for their feast. I wish I had not. The weather was atrocious; heavy rain lashed the twisting, windy Oregon coast road, a boulder or two rolled across the road in front of my car as the dachshund and I fought our way north. I had brought a pea and bacon salad, a pumpkin pie and several nice wines and as my contributions to the feast. It took nearly 3 hours to make it to their house – about twice as long as usual.
My friends are lovely, but they are not cooks. The stuffing was Stouffer’s, the turkey was Sahara-like, the potatoes were instant. There. Was. No. Gravy. No gravy!!
Darkness began to fall fast after a super-short 2 hour stay. I scooped up the confused dachshund and off we went, taking the longer route home in exchange for safety.
It was miserable.
Thrilled to be staying at home alone this year. Making a half gallon of gravy to go with the meal. There will be a crackling fire in the wood burner, music of my choice playing in the background, I will be clothed in comfy garments.
My condolences to those who are dealing with the deaths of their loved ones. I do also feel the loss of my husband most keenly at the holidays. But personally, I feel it worse when I’m around other families who still have what I once had, so being alone now is preferable for me. I’m not jealous of them. It only makes me deeply wistful.
I like my Thanksgiving season. I love turkey, plus the leaves are so colourful and beautiful in October. 
Used to enjoy it - don’t anymore. Haven’t for maybe 15 years.
Thanksgiving is the most awesomest holiday. For me, it’s a multi-day event, with my part of it starting a couple of months ago. It’s long, it’s exhausting, & by the time I roll out of bed on Firday I’m already looking forward to next year’s version because it’s so much fun.
Problem with that idea is too many people already do that so they have too many volunteers and end up turning volunteers away.
I know in Kansas City many restaurants do an awesome thanksgiving buffet.
No, not harsh at all. My wife lost her mom in September, and it’s just a hard thing, losing someone really close to you. Grief is real, can hurt like hell, and it’s not gonna go away overnight. I’d find it surprising if you did have much emotional energy, at this point, to deal with others’ needs.
So, transitioning here: usually I love Thanksgiving, but this year is for obvious reasons an exceedingly difficult one. We’re down in FL where my wife’s family is, which at this point is her father and brother. So the reality that her mother is gone is unavoidable, but she needs to be with her dad especially - she was very close to both of her parents. So I’m basically trying to hold her together as best as I can.
My MIL was a serious hoarder, so helping my FIL deal with her accumulated stuff is giving some purpose and structure to our week down here. There’s 30 bags of trash out on the curb for the garbage men this morning.