Ah, they’re 1320’s style “Death Rays”.
[sub]** prepares to be flung over the wall in short order **[/sub]
I have a couple of coworkers I’m willing to offer up as sacrificial ammunition. They’re pretty much dead weight anyway, and I’m sure they’d make a lovely splat upon impact. In fact, their entire trajectory will fill the air with such language as you’ve likely never heard.
Pardon me as I slip into a pleasant reverie here…
Quoting Mtgman’s link – “a large teeter-tooter”…
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get involved with medieval weaponry, being a pacifist and all – but if it’s actually just a large teeter-tooter, well, hell, I’m in.
KeithT, just for that we’re going to have to punish you by catapault.
How’s this? It’d be good for teeny tiny castles.
Oh, damn. I’m not a wench. Am I going to be laid waste to shortly?
Should I dress up for the occasion, or do you think it’s unnecessary. I’ve never been laid waste to before. 
All you no-good youngsters!
No character! No GRIT!
The first d@mned thing ya’ll do is reach for a trebuchet!
Why in my day we laid siege to a fortress—AND WE WERE GRATEFUL!
Or, we sent in sappers to mine beneath the castle walls—AND THEY WALKED TEN MILES THROUGH THE SNOW, UPHILL, TO DO IT! BOTH WAYS!
Young whippersnappers! No respect for tradition!
I am willing to help but only if we are allowed to fling people. Like telemarketers.
Or my mother-in-law.
I can get you one, though you’ll need to put it back together, it was dismantled. And its only 7 ft tall. Maybe not as destructive as you may have wished for, but still capable of hurling things at walls quite satisfactorily.
The sad thing is, I’m completly serious
Canadian, that would rock my sheep.
and 7 feet tall is big enough to fling Keith. I mean, really, can we shut the fuck up about those goddamn death rays already? It has lost what little humor it had in the first place.
Mmm… wenches. Wenches, whiskey, weapons. It’s a trinity.
And actually, in regards to noises made when flung against walls, I’d be satisfied with something resembling “thud spa-tank”.
“Bugger me! 'E cleared it!” (One of the few decent lines from that movie. Obviously not one of Costner’s)
I’m not a wench, so I guess I won’t be fetching the trebuchet–maybe I can provide the earth-shattering kabooms? I’m quite good at making that new-fangled Fire Drug. Or we could just fling the severed heads of our various enemies.
how about a wedding cake trebuchet?
(see the david blaine thread in the pit)
Or for a hand held weapon, have you considered a modified crossbow that fires herring? We may need to consider reinforcing the herring with a bolt up the arse, so that what we are in fact firing is a herring-clad crossbow bolt.
Perhaps the trebuchet could be loaded with a whole tuna. They’re 2 metres long and hefty - ought to make some kind of slapping noise against a wall.
Is the whiskey a definite, andygirl? You’re not just trying to tempt me with fickle promises of whiskey into providing splatty projectiles for your own personal ballistics party?
The lady said Whiskey. Whisk(e)y comes from Ireland, Scotland and nowhere else. Now, then, once we get the spirits squared away and have appropriate seige engines arrayed, do y’think you’ll be needing any claymores for good old hand-to-hand smiting?
Sorry, andygirl, but AFAIK Siege is straight.
She is, however, active in SCA!
Forget the pianos, the spinnets, etc…
Think of the noise that would befoul the air if it was loaded with, say, a couple of accordians.
Giant church bells.
Fucking BONG!
Can’t we just hurl Howard Stern or Rush Limbaugh and call it even?
What is that giant whooshing sound?
Enjoy,
Steven