I have decided that laying siege to all in my path is my only possible option.
I hereby command the SDMB wenches to fetch me a trebuchet so that the wild debauchery and wholesale destruction may begin.
Yarr.
I’ll help you build it.
I always thought it would be a cool project.
Excellent.
First we will need whiskey, lots of it.
Can I ride in the bucket?
I wanna ride in the bucket.
only if you promise to be brave when you are smashed to itty bitty tibbily bits against the walls of the fortresses of my enemies, therefore ensuring our victory if only because they’ll have to spend a terrible amount on cleaning supplies afterwards.
Fetchez la vache! Fetchez la vache!
Second thought first… Yes! Whiskey! Lot’s of whiskey! Preferably Mr. Daniel’s fine mash!
I am most pleasently reminded of the flying piano, from Northern Exposure!
Now, now AG. Sometimes life can be so rotten that it seems your only recourse is to release wanton destruction on all you survey using fourteenth-century technology.
This to me seems is an unhealthy outlook. No, I think it’s much healthier to seek out a path of healing – fourteenth century healing, preferably involving the balancing of bodily humours using leeches or maybe drilling holes in you skull to release the evil goblins.
Inky, you understand that I hold you in the highest respect and hope you take no offence when I say buggre alle that ande feyche me the trebuchet.
Oooh, I bet a piano would make a terribly interesting noise against bricks.
And I like my goblin just fine. His name is Mr. Daniels. He is my friend.
I see “trebuchet” and immediately think of the font.
SUCH a dork. Omigawrd.
THAT IS NOT GOING TO MAKE A PLEASING SQUISHY CRUMBLE SOUND WHEN HURLED AGAINST A WALL AT GREAT SPEED, HAMA.
Really, some people.
A piano!?!?!?!? How dare you! This means war!
Ok, I realize they aren’t extremely high on the lethal scale(and I’m not a SDMB wench), but I have been known to build something very much like these in the past. And I’ll probably do it again now that I have been reminded of what fun it is by this thread.
Enjoy,
Steven
Now just calm down, Eonwe. How about a harpsichord? Or a spinet?
Procure a few hundred over-ripe haggises, andygirl, and you will have more squishing than wine-makers of old (using their feet, natch) with their entire bodies covered in vaseline.
I’ll assist with the construction project, gladly. I’ve been a fan of the trebuchet ever since I saw one that an English fellow built. He tossed a small auto, and also a flaming piano. Always loved the episodes of Junkyard Wars featuring trebuchets.
Then again, I enjoy the use of my homemade spud gun, so it’s a given that my bolts aren’t at factory specified torque.
I might point out that bagpipes make very cool noises when launched against a vertical brick emplacement.
I clicked the link for BackyardArtillery.com at the bottom of the page. Imagine my excitement when I saw that they offered a Cat-A-Pult. Imagine my disappointment when I found out that it’s not for launching real cats. Still, the Quicktime video is fun to watch (favorite line = “And now it’s time to launch your cat!”). And mebbe with a little bit of reingineering…
Actually, the sound of a piano being dropped off a building onto a car is not nearly as impressive as one would expect. But then, that was an upright, and you, of course, would use at least a baby grand.
It didn’t make a resonant, Wile-Coyote-esque SPRYONGGG!!!?
Betcha there was no earth-shattering ‘kaboom’ either. 