That Train Wreck on the Mall Last Night

I happened to be surfing channels last night and stumbled across some sort of weird extended commercial for Pepsi, the NFL, Brittany Spears’ navel, and the war on terrorism…and all I can say is, “What in the hell was that?”

Don’t get me wrong, I believe the Mall should be used for public events…rock concerts, even (I sort of remember going to a Beach Boys show their, after which I went to Hamburger Hamlet and ate everything in sight, including the napkin dispenser), but whatever that was last night was just…bad. I mean, BAD. As Leonard Pinth-Garnell, of Really Bad Playhouse would say, “That was attrocious.”

I was working last night and left the office about the same time all those folks left the Mall. I don’t know much about the concert, but:

  1. the audience-members seemed not to care how many people they pushed in front of a moving Metro train, and

  2. one dude on a cell phone said Britney was only on for a couple minutes.


It was about six or seven minutes, actually, quite an elaborately tasteless production. She worked hard although the mostly middle aged audience seemed to applaud Aretha singing the National Anthem more enthusiastically.

Those of us toasting Manny at the Patriot Bar in New York watched it–thankfully with the sound off–and had a great time MST3K’ing it. It was hilarious to see how the dancers were working their tails off and Britney would face them, do ONE quick dance move with them, and then sway and sing–uhm, lip-sync–while they kept on dancing away.

And nope, the fireworks at the, er, climax of the act weren’t symbolic at all, nosirree.

I just turned the sound down and watched when Britney was on.

It was good to hear Aerosmith perform some of their older and harder stuff, instead of all these sappy ballads they’ve been putting out left and right lately. I used to LOVE those guys. They didn’t sound that great, though, and somehow their set just didn’t seem to fit with the whole “NFL Opening Game Celebration” thing.

I feel sorry for the kids trying to get into post-moderism these days. Everything sort of deconstructs itself. There’s just no challenge.

It really really really pains me to say this, but, had you been watching with the sound turned on, you would have noted that Aretha should take some lip-syncing lessons from Britney.

Why oh why, Aretha, did you have to lip-sync the National Anthem?

As I recall, the producers of “The Blues Brothers” had quite a hard time getting Aretha to lip-sync properly to the music for her song. They made mention of that fact on the documentary on the DVD. So maybe she’s just no good at lip-syncing. But I have the same question you do - why’d she lip-sync the Star Spangled Banner??

That’s no big deal, the National Anthem has been lip-syched at the Super Bowl for nearly 20 years. Remeber Super Bowl XXV between the Giants and the Bills, during the first Gulf War. Remember Whitney Houston’s " stirring" rendsition of the National Anthem?

Lip-synched. She’d recorded the song in the studio more then 2 years earlier.

Hell…I’ve been trying to forget Rosanne Barrs rendition for years.

On a related topic, what the hell is with the trend to populate commercials with weirdos and assholes? Yeah, I’m referring to that stupid Vanilla Pepsi commercial.

Oh no you didn’t! You did not just compare Whitney to Aretha! There is a big difference between a diva and a bitch. I remember Whitney’s rendition and the mini controversy it created, but Whitney is no Aretha. I don’t expect Whitney to be able to get her shit together for the two minutes it takes to sing the national anthem. Aretha, on the otherhand, should have no problem impressing us with a really stirring rendition of the Star Spangled Banner.