Not the theater, but a freaking funeral, for crying out loud.
Just about two weeks ago, I was at a memorial service for the mother of one of my former students. Young woman, mid-thirties, died of ovaian cancer. Of course, the church was packed, people crammed into pews, standing in the aisles, jammed into the back of the church.
Several family members and friends got up to eulogize this wonderful woman. During one of these touching memorials, the cell phone rang of someone at the other end of the pew where I was sitting. It rang a couple of times before she was able to fumble it out of her purse, and then she actually opened it to see who it was before silencing it.
:eek:
His name’s actually Broon.
While he no longer does the upside-down straitjacket escape, he is merciless on anyone foolish enough to interrupt the show or otherwise make a disturbance. If you’re at a Renaissance faire, what on earth do you need with any technology more advanced than buttons, anyway? Heck, I make fun of patrons with phones. Broon just gets paid for it and does better at it.
The guy’s six and a half feet tall and juggles bowling balls. I don’t know about you, but he can do whatever he wants with my cell phone.
I could be wrong, but most people just refer to it as “vibrate.” It’s a tad less suggestive. Unless that was intentional.
If I recall correctly, Kevin Spacey’s phone went off while he was on Jay Leno. I think he ended up answering it, as a joke. Kirsten Dunst was next to him and just went: “Niiice.”
Inone of David Cross’s recorded performances someone’s cell phone goes off and he has a few choice words for the woman. Something like, “Go ahead, answer it. Just pick up, say ‘I’m an asshole. I didn’t turn my cell phone off.’ It’s not like cell phones were just invented. Come on people, it’s been years.” Something like that, only funnier.
You should have heard the entire crowd gasp when a cell phone rang at the Chicago Dead Can Dance show. It made a single ring, was silenced, and you never heard it (or any other phone) again.
Perhaps Kevin Spacey taking the call on “Leno” was a bit of prearranged humor. Reason I suggest this – there’s a Spacey anecdote involving a live performance, a cell phone, and Spacey walking to the edge of the stage, and saying to the person with the phone, “Tell 'em we’re busy,” or words to that effect.
Sir Rhosis
I’ve never, that I can recall, heard a cell phone go off in a theatre, and I go to the cinema about 3 times a month and legitimate theatre a few times a year. Add that up over the last ~10 years that cell phone have really surged in popularity and you understand why I’m skeptical of people who say they hear them “all the time.”
I do have a funny anecdote about a cell phone going off at a live perfomance, though. I was at a club watching Michael Winslow perform and someone’s cell phone went off. He stopped dead in his tracks, ran into the audience, grabbed the cell phone, and answered it. He must’ve went on for 2 or 3 minutes solid talking to the person on the other end of the line, messing with them and making all sorts of sound effects, it was great.
Imagine you call up one of your friends and the guy from Police Academy answers and starts messing with you.
This reminds me of the cell phone incident that Billy Crystal had to deal with.
In the last year, I haven’t, but I’ve been a pretty regular theatregoer over the years before that. I’m not saying it never happens. The lede makes it sound like this is such an epidemic that every show is interrupted at some point by a ringing phone. “It is inevitable?” Every theatre I’ve gone to in New York City for years has had a warning to turn off your phone. Movie theatres also have it. Even the smallest joints, way off Off Broadway, either announce something over the PA system or put it in the program. It happens, but I think they’re overstating things to make the story sound better. Which brings me to:
I’m saying they’re sucking up to Griffiths for finally standing up to the cell phone madness. Griffiths was justified and everybody, especially actors, must find the story cathartic - but come on.
And every door to a store has a push or pull on yet you still see people pulling the pushes and pushing the pulls. Some people are just that oblivious. Some just feel the rules don’t apply to them.
This reminds me of the P.D.Q. Bach piece which starts with a long drum roll during which an audience member calls the conductor and they have a minute-long inane conversation.
Hey, I’m not complaining about them. They work, and “shut your phone off” is now part of theatre etiquette. Which is part of the reason why, in my experience, this doesn’t happen as much anymore.
I don’t know why someone hasn’t invented a device that would cancel out all cell phone signals in theaters, but I suppose someone would bitch about how their kid was dying of cancer and they absolutely must attend the theater while also maintaining communication with their waiting-for-the-baby-to-die-of-cancer babysitter.
:rolleyes:
I had a situation where my phone went off in a theater this summer, it was movies and not the usual situation at all.
at Bumbershoot they run the “0ne reel film festival” and it usually has a long line to get in, this year I walked right in, got ushered upstairs and led to a seat…the only time that fucking phone ran alllllllllllllll day long was about 20 seconds after I sat down and before I could get to the point where I thought to turn it off.
sorry if you were the guy in front of me who had to listen to “Sex Machine” til it stopped ringing but if I had taken it out of my backpack the whole place would have had to listen.
yes I shut it off asap.
and other than a couple times in the theater (again movies) I dont really see it that often.
They WOULD be begging for a suit for someone who missed an emergency call. But that device might also cause problems for ushers and crew members trying to communicate by radio. I don’t know how all that stuff works…
What we really need is some kind of public unencrypted bluetooth standard which would send a “set to vibrate” signal out to all cell phones within a certain radius.
Well, there are people like doctors who do have to be on-call 24/7.
The best argument I’ve heard against it, though, is financial: why should the theaters have to pay for something the patrons should be taking care of themselves?
Doctors on call 24/7 generally don’t attend, and disrupt theater productions. Jerks, and mommies with entitlement issues who need to take calls from their homies, and babysitters, do.
Excuse me? Doctors on call most certainly DO go to the theater. Military on call most certainly DO go to the theater. I go to the theater WITH my cell phone.
My parents are both in their 80s. You want me to have an emergency incoming call supressed by some generic equipment? I put my phone on vibrate. I will most certainly sue you if you cause me to miss a call telling me that my father just had a heart attack, or my mother fell down the stairs simply because some other asshat cant put their phone on vibrate.
I was just in “The Foreigner” in April/May and in “Enchanted April” in October, about 13-14 performances each show. No cell phones rang during any performance of the play, but there were two things of note:
One, during the house manager’s speech to shut off your cell phones, someone’s cell phone rang.
Two, just after the house manager’s speech to shut off your cell phones (and he had moved on to talking about concessions in the lobby) someone’s cell phone rang. (This was a different night.)
Of course, this was a local theater with an audience of mostly older folks, so cellular phone use isn’t very prevalent.
I also recall reading the text of a very pointed curtain speech for a production of Macbeth, as read by Lady Macbeth (and haughtily, as only that character can be). In it, she said most people let their cell phones ring in public to show how important and needed they are, but in truth, truly important people can afford to tell their underlings not to bother them at the theater, while only workaday slaves are tied to their phones.
Not sure how well that went over, but the scything manner of the text was sure fun to read.
Congratulations to your parents on their great good fortune in living well past the age most people manage to get to. You needn’t worry yet. Cell phone jammers are still illegal. ( CNN.com - Mobiles used in high-tech terror - Apr 4, 2004 ) What’s not illegal is requiring you to check your cell phone at the door, or chucking you out if you or your cellphone disturb the other customers who could otherwise enjoy the show secure in the knowledge that their parents are already dead. But your fierce litigiousness in defense of your right to instant knowledge of your parents’ status even while sipping at the trough of culture does raise a few questions.
If the orchestra played so loudly that you missed a call, would you sue for that? If a surprise audience-participation stunt caused you to miss a call, would you sue for that? If the play was so exciting and suspenseful that it caused to to ignore the vibration of your phone, is that also grounds for somebody giving you money? And if you did miss that urgent call, exactly what cause of action do you think you or anyone else would have anyhow?
Unless your parents’ status is so fragile (I hope it’s not) that every hour carries the risk of substantial bad news, your insistence on making the world your personal waiting room/phone booth is annoyingly hysterical. If it is, of course, it might be thought irresponsible for them not to have round-the-clock supervision and care, or for you not to choose, for the time being, other forms of entertainment.
I assume, of course, that you never ever use your phone for any purpose other than to await an urgent call of the type you described, because otherwise the lawsuit could get really complicated.