We get our daily newspaper delivered to our house every day. We live in a condo, so, instead of at my door, it’s at the front door of the building, needless to say outside. I will say it is USUALLY there, but about 20% of the time, it’s gone. Just gone. What the fuck do these people think?? Oh my God look a free paper, whooppeee my lucky day. Thieving Bastards!!
Well, today I go out to get the paper at 7:30 a.m. Not only is the paper not there, whatever dumbfuck asshole who took it unwrapped it from it’s plastic covering, took the paper, and left the wrapping on the front lawn. YOU FUCK!!! Taking the fucking paper AND Littering? What, taking it wasn’t enough you had to make sure I knew you took it and make a mess on the lawn. FUCK YOU!!!
(I’m sure I’ll be fine, I just need my morning caffeine, which I usually have as IM READING MY FUCKING PAPER!!!)
If you ever figure out who’s taking the papers, you should subscribe them to some ultra-raunchy S&M magazine. Even better if you can get it delivered to wherever they work.
Hamlet, this is spooky. Just before I logged on I was on the phone with the Circulation Dept. of MY newspaper. There are two apartments in my house(I own it) and no matter what I say the carrier keeps throwing it up front, not to the east side of the house like I requested, and where my door is. In front it is right by the sidewalk and easy to steal. I HATE paying for something I’m not getting as reguylarly as I should.
I read an article in the Washington Post a few years ago (perhaps it was a Bob Levey column?) about someone who, tired of having his paper stolen, got up VERY early in the morning, ran a length of fishline under his apartment door, and taped it to a page in the middle of the paper.
Then he waited.
When the fishline moved he opened the door, caught the thief red-handed, and never had stolen paper problems again
