The Economist recently had an interesting article on grandparents. People are living longer and having fewer children in most countries. This was mentioned in passing in Cecil’s Boomer column, with concern especially acute in countries like Japan. But it is relevant far more widely.
Excerpt (article below):
“Today… grandparenting has changed dramatically. Two big demographic trends are making nana and gramps more important. First, people are living longer. Global life expectancy has risen from 51 to 72 since 1960. Second, families are shrinking. Over the same period, the number of babies a woman can expect to have in her lifetime has fallen by half, from 5 to 2.4. That means the ratio of living grandparents to children is steadily rising.
Surprisingly little research has been done into this. The Economist could not find reliable figures for how many living grandparents there are, so we asked [a German scientist]…
We found that there are 1.5bn grandparents in the world, up from 0.5bn in 1960 (though the further back one goes, the fuzzier the estimates become). As a share of the population they have risen from 17% to 20%. And the ratio of grandparents to children under 15 has vaulted from 0.46 in 1960 to 0.8 today.
By 2050 we project that there will be 2.1bn grandparents (making up 22% of humanity), and slightly more grandparents than under-15s. That will have profound consequences. The evidence suggests children do better with grandparental help…”
“Grandparents pass on traditional beliefs, stories, songs and a sense of history. More prosaically, they bring an extra pair of hands. That helps both parents and children [especially regarding education and babysitting]…, [article discusses several individual countries]”
What are the consequences of more grandparents?
What economic changes would be wise to pursue now?
What social or cultural changes might occur?
Who can be handy, mending a fuse, when the lights have gone?
Did your grandparents personally teach you a lot of songs or about music?
I think retirement will be further delayed. Pensions will become less generous. Ageism won’t disappear, but slightly lessen as some countries will move towards models where more generations live under the same roof. The political clout of Boomers and their successors will increase. Paul McCartney can be handy mending a fuse. The recent rise in life expectancy is pretty shocking.
There is a comedian who says wars should be fought by old men rather than young ones, and the elderly should lead the way in space exploration and other risky ventures. But what happens if someone needs to reset the VCR clock?
Back to your question, are you asking about more people being older (which will bring about changes) or specifically about them being grandparents (which may or may not matter at all)?
It’s from the Beatles’ song “When I’m Sixty-Four,” written by McCartney, in which he talks about what life might be like with his lover when they’re older:
I never observed any of my 4 grandparents ever listen to music of any kind. They never mentioned music to me, that I recall.
I do recall my grandfather making fun of the Beatles, circa 1966. (so he must have heard a song or two when I wasn’t around)
Once I start I thread I try not to be prescriptive. Although I am more interested in grandparents here, it is strongly linked to age. Do any changes can be discussed.
I’m old enough to remember when Paul McCartney turned 64 and how it was big news. Now he’s 80.
I assume grandparents will play a bigger role in helping their grandkids financially. Since the ratios are changing and theres closer to 1 grandparent per grandkid there may be more financial support. Maybe grandparents will be more likely to leave money directly to grandkids rather than just to their kids.
I don’t think there was ever any musical tastes I got from my grandparents. But my paternal grandparents had about 12 grandkids between their 5 kids. Not a lot of time to spend with the kids individually.
I really don’t know what other cultural changes there will be.
If you read the article it is indeed a more global perspective, giving examples from Senegal, India, Louisiana, rural and urban China, Brazil, etc. as well as the average grandparental age and percentage of the population for several selected countries. Having grandparents close often by means more women in the work force.
Speaking of grandparents and their acquired wisdom:
I knew the reference to the song, but I didn’t grok the concept of “mending” a fuse.
Nowadays, you just flip the switch, or in a really old house, you buy a new fuse and replace it.
But back in the good ol’ days, yeah, people did know how to fix a fuse. It was something to do with wrapping a bit of copper wire around something, My grandfather would have known how to do that.( but not in any house I ever lived in.) So–yeah, sometimes it’s helpful to have grandparents around.
Less snarkily, and back to the OP—more grandparents are, of course, a good thing, as measured on a global basis.But in most western countries, I’m not sure how relevant it is…Many grandparents live far,far away from the grandkids.
I can’t find any numbers for “1st world countries” in general, but for instance in the U.S. the average age at death has gone up from 69.77 years to 77.28 years:
Incidentally, it’s generally agreed that the division of the world into first world/well-off/developed countries vs. third world/poorer/developing countries is out of date. It used to be possible to split the world that way with a large group of richer countries, a large group of poorer countries, and very few countries between them. Now it’s generally agreed that there is no such clear distinction. One way of doing the classification of the countries now is high/upper-middle/lower-middle/low. The point is that there no longer is a middle valley between “first world” and “third world” with very few countries in it:
I suspect it’s one of those situations where there has been a life expectancy increase for the older generations, but without the usual advance in parental age like you saw in the West.
I mean, if parents in those places are still having kids in their early-mid 20s, and their parents are now living into their 80s, that means those kids are going to have 40+ years of grandparents around in general.
I suspect in the West you may see this in some demographics, but that the trend of longer life expectancy is offset largely by parents being older when they have their first kid.
I don’t think more grandparents necessarily means more family stability. It would have decades ago, but my husband’s observation with his clients and our personal experience with his own parents suggests that grandparents are increasingly choosing not to help with grandkids in any meaningful way.
I am, in fact, bitter, as we were lured back home with the promise that we would have some degree of support, and we were promised help with childcare, especially in the first year, but the moment that became inconvenient (COVID) Grandpa skipped out to travel the world, leaving us with no childcare with no notice. We have suffered through the last three years, from severe postpartum depression to dealing with our son’s developmental issues, with no support. I can’t even get the asshole to stop traveling long enough to visit my son on his birthday. I’ve asked him repeatedly to make time for it.
While he is an extreme example, there seems to be a demographic trend away from grandparents providing new parents any meaningful support. I think you will also see a correlated demographic trend away from providing parents support as they age.
I’m pretty sure this is true - but I’m not sure how often real choice is involved. My mother gave me and my siblings a lot more help than I’m able to give my daughter - but there are a number of significant differences. First one is that my mother’s first grandchild was born when she was 46 - my first grandchild was born when I was 56. My siblings and I lived within a 15 minute drive of my parents , so bringing the kids to and from her house on a daily basis was feasible. My daughter lives a 45 minute drive away in the best circumstances and it’s more like an hour and a half in rush hour traffic- for me to provide childcare everyday would have involved someone leaving home around 5:30 am and getting home at 7pm. I can’t move closer to them because it will cost me too much in state income taxes* and my husband would have to find a new job. My daughter and son-in-law could have lived within 15 minutes of my house - they could have bought a house here for the price they paid, but it would have had a smaller yard. Apparently, when they bought the size of the property was more of a priority than getting childcare from me in the future. Which is fine - but it was a choice they made, not me.
If you were lured back with the promise of childcare and Grandpa skipped out - that’s 100% Grandpa’s choice. But that’s not always why people don’t get help from grandparents - in addition to circumstances where the parents move away , etc. there are other circumstances. I remember people telling me how lucky I was to have my mother care for my children while I worked. And I would always acknowledge that I was lucky, but the fact that my siblings and I paid her more than the job she quit did helped a lot . And every single person responded with some variation of “You pay your mother?” . Apparently, they expected free child care which is not something every grandparent can provide - my mother could not have afforded to quit her job when she did if we hadn’t been replacing that income.
* They live in an adjacent state - and my pension is not taxable here but would be taxable there.
Three factors have really influenced how my parents have developed relationships with their various grandchildren, and it’s caused some resentment–but I don’t know how it could have gone differently. The biggest issue by far is the age of the grandparents at the time of the grandchild’s birth. I’m 5th of 6 kids. When my older siblings were having their kids, my parents were in their 40s and 50s: they worked ALL the time, to pay off our college educations and save for retirement. My younger sister and I had our kids when my parents were 65, right as they retired. So they have had a lot more time to be involved. They also live near us, when the siblings are in distant states. But that’s a feature of being retired: when they were working, they moved many times (which is why siblings ended up all over). Once they retired, they moved back to home base–which is where my sister and I lived (and my mom’s family is).
But the largest issue by far is just that I and my sister are closer to my mom. I call my mom every couple of days. I know about her day to day life, because I ask. I actively ask her for parenting advice, because I value her judgment (even if I don’t always take her recommendation). We are friends. My brothers have never seemed interested in that close of a relationship, and that’s fine (though I think she wishes they would call more). I don’t know if it’s a temperament thing or a gender thing or a timing thing, but it’s just how it is.
As a result, she’s closer to my son than she is to her older grandchildren. She’s just heard more about him. I talk about his day at school, his best friends, the computer games he’s playing and the books he’s reading. She’s never done much babysitting, because that’s not really her deal, but she and I and my son go out and do things all the time, and have his whole life. And I know one of my brothers, at least, resents the hell out of that. But he’s emotionally closed off, literally never comes to visit (she drives out to visit him a couple times a year), and rarely calls. But he seems to think it’s all on her to keep relationships “fair”.
I am benefiting tremendously from having my mom retired and close. I am sure I will be doing the end-of-life care, and that will be a challenge, but the one isn’t a tradeoff for the other. But again, what should she have done? My brothers never understood that having a positive relationship with your parents as an adult is a mutual thing.
