A long time ago, I saw an article, I think it was in the Journal of Irreproducible Results, called The Age of Indecision. It went something like this (but all in verse):
The pleasure of a good meal=line A. Starts high, gets very low in childhood, gradually grows in adulthood as tastes develop, then slowly decreases in old age.
The pleasure of sex=line B. Starts low, peaks in the teen years, then gradually decreases throughout middle age.
The pleasure of a good crap=line C. Starts high, dips to nothing, then grows in old age, as a reverse bell curve.
The point where all the lines meet=the Age of Indecision. That’s the age where you can’t decide what you’d like best: a good meal, a good screw, or a good crap. 
It was funny as hell, but I haven’t seen it in years. Anybody know where I might get my hands on a copy? I have several books of excerpts from the Journal (AKA the Annals of Improbable Research) but none has it.
Theobroma