I’d file that one under the ‘dissing and bitching’ category, usually (but of course not always) by the older towards the younger - as in, 'why on earth do young men wear pants that sag around their hips that look silly and that they can’t even walk properly in? - Must be to show their contempt for the squares - that is, to be rebellious, or to conform with some subgroup; surely no-one would adopt a fashion that effectively crippled their ability to run, and looked absurd in the bargain, without some more compelling motive than to look cool '.
The notion I suspect is that the fashion choice is so unaesthetic, so fraught with practical difficulties, that it simply must have some ulterior motive.
Tattoos are in an odd category because the practical difficulties have somewhat, but not entirely, vanished. It certainly used to be the case that visible tats were a major hinderance to professional-type occupations (this is largely, but not yet entirely, untrue); it is of course still true that many people react negatively towards them (witness the recurring ad nauseum threads on the topic).
Naturally, the reaction of those who have them is going to be that they don’t care about the goodwill of the unenlightened types who are judgmental. And perhaps the practical difficulties are practically non-existent in reality, particularly for those already launched on a career path. But it would appear that what motivates inventing presumtuous assumptions is that this particular fashion choice carries a potentially heavy social price.
Advising anyone who isn’t your minor relative, student, patient, or otherwise in your care to avoid tattoos is presumptuous. Criticizing someone who already has tattoos shows anything but goodwill. The heavy social price seems to be limited to a much older generation, tattoos are so common now that this is the only place I ever hear anyone comment on them. And I’m 42, relatively conservative in dress and behavior as are all my friends. It just isn’t such a big deal anymore.
Tattooed persons in conservative workplaces wear long sleeves, pants, longer skirts if the environment dictates a certain look. The tats you see in the grocery line may be hidden 40 hours each week. In most retail environments, cubicle farms, food service…anything goes. If someone outgrows a tat: they can cover it up or endure removal. If someone marks their face, neck, or hands, it’s likely they planned on working in an unconventional environment where such things are unremarkable anyway. The comment lamenting tats in porn is hilarious. Having sex with strangers on camera for worldwide distribution ain’t a job for debutantes or politicians, ya know?
You know those people who rescue pit bulls, or those who dress tiny dogs in sweaters and tote them like handbags, or those who appear at every function with a lump of English bulldog trailing behind? The strangers who like pit bulls, arm dogs, and bulldog will admire those guys, strike up conversation; feel a kinship. The people who don’t care for dogs, fear them, or aren’t interested in pets are free to ignore them. The observer who doesn’t care for dogs, tattoos, or short hair on women is free to refrain from adopting the style.
I think what the people responding to this thread are saying is “It ain’t about you.”
Well of course. No fashion choice is “about you”, the observer. That has never stopped people from commenting on them before, and it won’t stop people from commenting on them in the future.
What you are describing (wearing long sleeves to cover tats at work, those with face tats cut out of “conventional environments”, being ignored by a segment of the population) indicates that there is still a price to be paid for following this fashion, albeit of course not as “heavy” as formerly. I assume you are agreeing with the paragraph immediately preceeding the one you quoted:
The fact that following a fashion carries an ongoing price raises the question to neutral observers of its value. I readily admit that, as with all fashions, it isn’t really anyone’s business to presume to tell others that the value isn’t worth the price. That’s a calculus for the individual to make.
I believe that most fashion choices are done for the benefit of both viewer and wearer. In the case of tattoos, though: if you don’t like it, you aren’t the target.
I am a substantially different person now than at 18, yet I’m perfectly happy with every big decision I took at that age. Other people’s mileage I’m sure will vary.
I am a college-educated, white-collar professional and the poster girl for white folk - about as bland and conformist as white bread and mayo.
All that said, I wanted one all my life, and finally did it on my 40th birthday (I also waited until my mother passed away when I was 39, six months earlier. She’d have had that stroke that killed her early had I gone ahead with it while she was alive).
There will not be any others because I got exactly what I wanted and that is enough.
I shopped and shopped and shopped for what I wanted and where to have it done.
It’s very small, just slightly over an inch square, located on the bone just above my left ankle (yes, it smarted a bit there, but I didn’t want it any higher on my leg).
It’s a stylized rose, my birthflower.
Hardly anyone notices it because of where it is.
I can slap a standard bandaid over it if I have to cover it for some reason, like for a stage role.
And lastly, nobody cares other than the DiveMaster and my cop BIL, who both hate tats.
I tell them to get over it.
I knew a trans man—fully transitioned, bearded, and boobless—who had a tattoo on his bicep of an old woman wearing a babushka. He’d gotten it as a teenager, and it was supposed to depict him when he gets old. Of course, this was before he’d come out to himself and was still (in vain) trying to be the female he wasn’t. Now he’s stuck with a picture of his future self in the wrong gender. I can’t begin to think of how galling a lifetime of that wrongness on one’s own flesh must be.
I have nothing against tats or inked peoples; I don’t think any the better or worse of anyone for having tats or not. It really doesn’t matter to me either way. But I can’t forget that one case of it gone horribly wrong and think: There but for fortune go you or I…
Did he express despair about it or are you projecting? Not trying to be snarky, it just seems like if one has the resources to change one’s gender, it would seem relatively minor to get a tattoo removed. Also, maybe it had taken on a new meaning for him by that time (?)
Tattoos will never be entirely unfashionable, because the people who have them now will have them for the rest of their lives. So even if in 2040 tattoos are seen as a hopelessly old-timey fashion, and no young person would think of getting a tattoo, there will still be so many old folks with tattoos that it won’t seem weird that old folks have tattoos. Until all the 40 and 30 and 20-somethings of today are dead and buried and their untattooed grandchildren are in nursing homes.
It isn’t going to be a social faux pas in the future to have a tattoo for just the reason people are saying: tattoos are permanent, mostly. People who have tattoos they regret aren’t going to be consumed by shame, they’ll just live with it. Even people with missing fingers from youthful fuckups get over it and live their lives mostly without even thinking about how their youthful selves made choices that their old-ass selves have to live with. It happens all the time. Think of the people who started smoking as kids, and deal with damaged lungs as adults. Tattoos are just one more thing in a gigantic list of irreversable things that people do to themselves. Well, you’re only alive for 90 years or so, so tattoos are pretty far down on the list of things to sit around and regret when you’re old. Your relationships with your family, friends or children, those are important things to regret. That you’ve got an ugly blue smear on your forearm isn’t that important.
I like tattoos. I have one, a star of david, that means a lot to me personally. I am in the process of planning another one which is going to be a for my daughter which is going to be a large-ish sholder piece. I went through a lot of trouble to track down an artist who’s work I love because it is going to last forever. Only people who see me without my shirt on will ever know I have them, they are for me.
I thought this would be a good place to drop a link to a picture I came across recently when I was researching my upcoming tattoo.
When I found the photo it originally had the caption “how are all those tattoos going to look when you are 60? Fuckin’ BADASS!” I tend to agree but YMMV. The caption didn’t come from the site that I link to, but I like the photo better with that caption. Tattoos are forever. But they are part of you. They age with you. I think the guy in the above link is probably still pretty happy.
I have a tattoo that looks a lot like THIS, only the design ends just above my elbows, and terminates at the knees. I can wear a normal short sleeve shirt and board shorts and nobody knows I’m tattooed despite the fact that I have more ink than most people. I got it for myself, not for you.
