Welcome back to the Randal Ratings. Wait, I mean the Raj Ratings. I’m just confused because there hasn’t been this much of a foregone conclusion since the 1998 Yankees played. Still, this was an interesting week. One of the supposed favorites really screwed up and we are left with a final 6 that is made up of 3 contenders and 3 Stooges. This episode did sort of leave me cold though. It just didn’t really have any zip to it. Manipulate cardboard! Paste pictures to the wall! Describe your project! It’s like a 3rd grade assignment. Anyway, on to the show.
** Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska** - Or, these people are in a cold, lonely place with no hope for love or revival
Melissa, Chris, Jennifer W, Toral, Kristi, Josh, Jennifer M, James, Mark, Markus - You just know these people knew Markus was coming to meet them in the loser hotel, but even when he showed up they weren’t prepared for the horror his bloviating brought.
** Brian ** (N:N&J)- A clearly worthy firing this week considering your team was operating without information because you were dumb from the start. Was that extra hour of research worth missing a meeting. Apparently internet sites contain richer information than people that judge your design. You were essentially an outsider for the final 4 anyway so this is no big surprise. You haven’t done very much that was noteworthy on this whole show.
Marshawn (S)- Wow, what was that? Near as I can tell, your true motive for trying to get Brain to present was to keep the stink of his project off of you. Not a great call, but at least it’s a reason. Well, then why, when it was clear things were going poorly in the boardroom didn’t you actually say that? No reason is worse than a dumb reason. Maybe you wouldn’t have saved yourself, but you’d have given it more of a fighting chance than that. If you had simply given your quick spiel, you’d still be in the running with 3 or 4 people clearly behind you. Instead, you got yourself fired and gave Rebecca the chance to play the hero. I haven’t seen worse logic since Inspector Gadget was trying to solve crimes. And, you don’t have a plucky pre-teen and a mutant dog to help you.
Boot Camp - Or, in major need of a butt-kicking, but actual physical contact isn’t allowed
Clay (BC)- I think we all knew no exemption was coming Clay’s way. I didn’t think it was possible for a winning week to further hamper a PM’s chances.
Adam (BC)- One of the 3 in this group will make the final 4, maybe even the final 3. But, can you seriously see any of these 3 winning it. Clay is a hypersensitive jerk, Adam leaves about as much of an impression as a mothball on a girder, and Felisha is easier to tune out than Muzak.
Felisha (BC)- Well, you did get to play dress up this week.
Big Brother - Or, beginning the downward spiral into ultimately being canceled
Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica - Or, ultimately harmless and forgettable fluff in need of a shot in the arm
American Idol - Or, mostly positive so far but still in major danger of falling apart when a tough theme night comes around
Survivor - Or, when they’re good, they are really good. But, there are enough rough spots to keep them from the top spot
Rebecca (AI)- I think you vaulted up in Trump’s eyes this week because you did what you could to save your team. Even if you don’t do great, you made the effort for greatness. Trump will like that so you’ve earned a little slack to screw up. Of course, on this show, the screw ups tend to be monumental.
Alla (AI)- Clearly one of the top 3 on ability but that now needs to translate to placement. Still, you can probably coast just a little bit because you have acquitted yourself quite well.
The Amazing Race - Or, the king of the hill. A well oiled machine that shows no signs of slowing down unless a taxi gets in the way
Randal (TAR)- You did the best you could with what you had to work with. The team really should have let you be PM. This is a time when it’s smart for someone to lead that has knowledge of the product simply because no one else had a clue. Still, I’m bothered by the lack of Darth in your design. That seemed like a pretty obvious call. But honestly, at this point, that’s like pointing out the mole on Cindy Crawford.
The Rancic-Perdew Corollary – Clay can’t win based on his portrayal as a weirdo. Adam won’t win, simply because if someone like Andy (who had as much inexperience but more obvious talent) can’t win, you have no shot. Felisha won’t win because we haven’t seen diddly from her at this point. And, while that is very similar to Kendra last year, there are differences. Kendra was just starting to get a lot of play, Felisha still hasn’t. More importantly, Kendra could come from nowhere because there were no other strong players. Felisha is facing three that have been getting a strong edit all season long. I’m inclined to say that Alla would be next because, while shown as solid and competent, she is also shown as a little angry, crazy, and rage-driven at times. Rebecca is the runner-up because the editing shows her as the plucky utility player who is succeeding in spite of crutches. And, Randal wins because he’s pretty much awesome. I think he’s a little stronger than Kwame in season 1 and there is no Bill to usurp his title. Of course, these final predictions only survive in the logical world. Trump’s random logic and a monumental screw-up by a player would change things, but this is pretty much how it will go.
