The Apprentice -- 9/22/05

Yay! The new season starts tonight! The contestants have all been hand-picked by The Donald, so it’s gonna be the Best Season Ever! It’ll be yuge!

Whaddya think – new 'do for Carolyn?

Seriously – haven’t heard a peep about anything – any word on the street about what’s in store?

Well, here are the candidates:

We’ve got:

Adam: A 22 year old first generation American (his parents are Israeli) risk management specialist.

Alla:, a 31 year old “self made multi-millionare” immigrant from the former Soviet Union who owns a chain of salons in Las Vegas and builds and sells mansions.

Brian: A 23 year old print company executive who also, at 18, was the youngest citizen panelist on "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher.

Chris: A 27 year old former NFL player for the New Orleans Saints (aww), Tennesee Titans, and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He now is an advertising executive at a radio station in Texas, as well as operating a 100 acre tree farm.

Clay: A 28 year old realtor. There’s nothing interesting in his bio except that he likes to play with Legos.

Felisha: A 29 year old real estate developer, who owns real estate across the country and her own hotel group.

James: A 27 year old former radio reporter and sports broadcaster, he now is a salesman for Cingular Wireless and recently started a real estate firm.

Jennifer M: A 26 year old real estate investor who was Miss Oregon in 2004 and was in the top 10 to be Miss USA. She was also homeschooled.

Jennifer W: A 31 year old realtor and restaurant owner.

Josh: A 30 year old owner of a beauty company.

Kristi: A 24 year old sales executive for a golf course. She went to college on a soccer scholarship and was nationally ranked, and managed to do all this while raising a premature child she had at 16.

Mark: He’s 35 year old wealth manager

Markus: A 41 year old inventor and furniture designer

Marshawn: A 26 year old owner of a public speaking consulting agency. She was Miss District of Columbia and was third runner up at Miss America.

Melissa: A 30 year old real estate investor with two masters degrees.

Randal: A 34 year old owner of a consulting firm. He was a champion track and field athlete in college, and was featured by Ebony Magazine and Black Enterprise Magazine in their “30 Leaders of the Future” issue.

Rebecca: A 23 year old financial journalist and former investment banker. She also founded a nonprofit organization to help disenfranchised children.

Toral: A 29 year old day trader and Vice President in a major investment bank.

These are the candidates. Who will succeed? Who will fail? Who will flip out in entertaining ways? And who will become…The Apprentice?

Finally! A losing team goes to the boardroom and acts like they’ve watched the show before.

I’m trying to think if Markus reminds me of any other Apprentices. He’s odd, like Raj and Danny were odd, and talkative, like Not-A-Homosexual-Chris. If he was a puppy he’d be showing his belly.

Hated Melissa (just like I was supposed to) but none of the other women made an impression, except for the dark-haired one who took off her shoes and ran like hell for the copter. Was she the one at the end of the table who defended Christy? Hell, they all defended Christy.

Don’t like Carolyn’s hair. George looks good though – well rested and ready to go!

Wow, Melissa really was a piece of work. Way to pick up the rope, wrap it around your neck, stand on the chair and kick it out from under you, all in one sentence: “I don’t work well with women.” The look on Carolyn’s face about put me on the floor. She went from dislike to seething hatred in about .002 seconds. It was beautiful to see.

Markus is an idiot. That is all. The music editors, however, are brilliant for the music that accompanied his pointless blatherings.

What I can’t figure out is if Trump hand-picked this bunch, why did he choose such totally obvious cannon fodder? Or was it to make the first few weeks easier on himself?

I don’t like Carolyn’s hair, either, but hopefully it won’t stay that way all season. I cannot wait to see Carolyn In Charge in the near future, however!

'cept for Melissa, of course.

“I can’t work with women–they’re threatened by me” has to be the most yuuuugely stupid thing to say in the boardroom ever!

Alla’s pretty proud of herself. She’s the Russian woman who says she came to the US “with nothing” and became a multi-millionaire. Um, the website says she came to the US “with her parents” and at 19 owned her first real estate. Guess she saved her allowance for a few years or something.

Which woman was bragging about being a vice-president of a company that had 50 vice-presidents? Seems like a VP spot might not be so hard to get.

I sorta liked Josh (the one with glasses – he got some screen time) and Randal, whose grandma died. None of the other guys made an impression yet, except for Markus. Poor guy.

What did you think of Trump’s comment – “People don’t change, do they?”

What’s with all the beauty queens this go round?

Melissa has to be one of the dumbest people to ever appear on reality television. Why would you tell anyone (let alone a national television audience) that you don’t work well with half the people on the planet?

Kristi’s flyer sucked so it’s not like she didn’t have an out.

Wow, yet another season of the Raj Ratings. How I’ve missed myself. This may be the first season opening episode where we didn’t really have anyone step up as the early leader. A whole lot of players on an even keel and a couple dropping like stones. So, there’s a heavy concentration of middle of the road rankings. Speaking of rankings, a new season means a new system of categories. I have struggled long and hard trying to come up with a good once. The last two (ships and school levels) really sort of suggested themselves. Eventually, I settled on the concept of reality TV. Mark Burnett is pretty much responsible for the vast growth of it, so to honor him the ranking will be based on the best and worst it has to offer. Much like each new season of The Apprentice, my format is still the same other than a couple of minor tweaks. Each candidate is now linked to a bio and each Ratings will now end with a ranking of where this season seems to be headed versus the previous 3. Last season was about as fun to watch as a monkey based reenactment of the Middle East peace talks. So, hopefully the people are better. I wait hopefully. At this point, I won’t put team names since the whole men vs. women thing makes it kind of obvious. Speaking earlier of tweaks, I like the idea of no automatic exemption. Keeps people on their toes a bit more and may really help to show some dividing lines. The chopper race was also an interesting beginning. I hope the time spent on the reward is cut, unless something worthwhile is shown that spells out show dynamics. On to the show!

** Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska** - Or, these people are in a cold, lonely place with no hope for love or revival
Melissa - “Women are intimidated by me.” “Women don’t like me.” “I can’t work with women.” One of those sentences is completely incorrect, 2 of those could be replaced by the word “Humanity” and be correct. I’ll leave it to you to decide which is which. Also, I may be mistaken, but are you Latina? It was fairly unclear from this episode.

Boot Camp - Or, in major need of a butt-kicking, but actual physical contact isn’t allowed
Markus - This may be a bit harsh, but that was not a stirring opening salvo as PM. Sure, you won, but that’s like the Rockies beating the Royals in interleague play. And seriously, with the talking. Your a bit like Yakko Warner reciting all of the words of the English language. All you need is Dot and Dick Buttons doing the play by play. Ease off.
Kristi - Losing PMs always have a tough go of it at first since Trump doesn’t really know anyone yet so he can just target the losing leader. Only Melissa’s sheer anger saved you. If Trump wants to teach a lesson, a good one may be one you helped me learn last night. “In a task that is right up one’s alley of knowledge, it’s not necessarily a good idea to lead. Let someone else deal with the people, the organization, the little details. Instead, be the right hand man and avoid the work that distracts your efforts to apply your skill.”
Big Brother - Or, beginning the downward spiral into ultimately being canceled
Clay - Only because I still have no idea what he was saying during his whole “I’m gay which is beneficial to winning this show because something or other then this ipso facto therefore I win” speech. That was just a little weird.

Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica - Or, ultimately harmless and forgettable fluff in need of a shot in the arm
Adam - The first of many in this group only because one show doesn’t let us see much of most people. On the odd side, his NBC picture looks like David Schwimmer.
** Brian ** - One of about 4 guys that all look alike so far.
Chris - See Brian.
Felisha - Quick, without looking, guess her age. I would have missed by 10 years.
James - See Brian.
Josh - This guy wasn’t really on the show, was he?
Mark - See Brian.
Marshawn - She said stuff, but it didn’t stick. I actually thought she was leading the workout class until the end of the show.
Rebecca - Very similar to Jennifer W. Not sure which is which yet.
****Toral - Would stink at charades because she left no impression.
American Idol - Or, mostly positive so far but still in major danger of falling apart when a tough theme night comes around
Alla - Solid, friendly advice. No screw-ups. A good start.
Jennifer M - I think she’s supposed to bring the hot to the show. Clearly pageant trained, but seemed solid. Only in this group because we saw more of the women and this one managed to avoid acting stupid.
Jennifer W - Crap, another Jennifer. Shouldn’t Congress pass some sort of law banning same named people from appearing on the same reality show? She cut Melissa off at the knees.
Randal - Holy cow this is one smart guy. Earns some sympathy points and worked through a personal crisis which should leave him up a notch in Trump’s mind.

Survivor - Or, when they’re good, they are really good. But, there are enough rough spots to keep them from the top spot

The Amazing Race - Or, the king of the hill. A well oiled machine that shows no signs of slowing down unless a taxi gets in the way
Wow, no one in the top 2 sections. And, I don’t think that’s me being too harsh. There was just no outstanding person.

The Rancic-Perdew Corollary - A little too early to tell for sure, but Markus is pretty teetery. He clearly had the mocking horn section but week one is survivable. Week 2 will tell his tale.

Seasonal Rankings
No clear characters or studs yet, but also no immediate villains, which is a little disturbing. So right now the rankings would be season 1, 2, 4, 3.

Wait… I don’t understand these ranking…

Just kidding! :smiley:

Keep up the good work Mull, I look forward to it every Friday. :wink:

As for the show? Not bad, but as I mentioned in the Martha thread, I’m really getting sick of The Donald. And I thought that race to the helicopter was a little bizarre. I’ll be tuning in next week though.

I had a friend over last night who, believe it or not, doesn’t “do” reality TV. At all. Ever. A total virgin. Who hates hates hates Donald Trump.


So we were on the sofa, I was facing the TV, he was facing away so he didn’t have to watch.

Naturally, during the last commercial, he was getting all het up about how effin’ stupid Melissa is, and how Kristi was totally saved from the terrible flyer by the sheer awfulness of Melissa, and …

All I could say was, “Resistance is futile.”

Another week and he’ll be headed for the Mullinator Ratings first thing Friday.

Good show – I think this has the possibility of being a fairly good season.

And Markus – shut the fuck up. Now. Please. I’m saying this as a friend.

Arrrrggggggh I missed it. I’ll have to catch it today using the magic of tivo. Stupid group meetings…

Don’t be silly. I would have remembered a monkeys doing the Middle East peace talks. I drew a complete blank as to who won last season - and I watched every episode.

Speaking of the forgettable past winners…At first, I thought the peon guy opening the car door at the beginning of the show was that dude who won two seasons ago. Somehow, I imagine that he has a job like that.

And, gotta love the Trump ego:

You are going to eat at the Friar’s Club. I recently was roasted there. You probably read about it. :rolleyes: MrValley and I almost fell off the couch laughing.

So it could be said that you had to mull this one over, huh?


don’t hit! don’t hit!

It’s always hard to get a feel for the characters after one episode, but I think we got an accurate feel for Melissa after about 4 seconds. “Women are intimidated by my beauty and intelligence.” That one sentence is exactly why women hate her.

the only other thing I could tell as that Markus is definitely being edited as this season’s “Danny.”

I really liked how twice Mr. Trump asked:

Do you really think Kristi is intimidated by your beauty?

And neither time did she get it.

The best thing was watching what had to be going through Carolyn’s mind at the moment she said the “beauty and intelligence” line. She resisted laughing and saying, “honey, whoever told you you were beautiful was just trying to get in your pants” Melissa was another Omarosa who just didn’t get it. Women don’t hate her for her beauty and intelligence…they hate her because she’s mean, petty and spiteful. Kristy should have brought up the fact that a good leader should be able to come up with a better explanation than “she gets under my skin” for why she doesn’t respect someone’s management abilities.

I especially liked how Kristi asked Trump if she could bring just one person back to the boardroom.

That was smart. She was probably confident that Melissa would continue shooting herself in the foot and be fired, so why make an enemy out of one of the other women.

The other thing that bugged me was when Melissa insisted that because she was Hispanic, she would naturally know what Bally’s Hispanic clientele wanted and how much they’d pay for it. Basically, she said they were cheap. Did that sound offensive to anyone else?

I think you phrased that wrong, AuntiePam. The question should be: “Did anyone else not find that sounded offensive?”