Cripes, the Randal Ratings are late this week. Blame a combo of insane working hours, a teething, hyper, and mobile 11 month old, and bad weather. So, I doubt anyone but the hamsters will be reading this post. I apologize for the delay, so to make it up to you I will emulate Apprentices past and future and do a really half-assed job. It’s the American way! Note, I am writing this without reading the thread, so expect things that are derivative, wrong, or pointless based on previous discussion. Do I have your hopes up enough yet? This week’s task was sorta dumb. I don’t exactly see how this would help Trump to learn how a person could succeed in his company. This was basically a pitfall project. You won’t learn anything good about a person, but you might learn the bad. Or, in Clay’s case, reinforce it in many ways.
** Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska** - Or, these people are in a cold, lonely place with no hope for love or revival
Melissa, Chris, Jennifer W, Toral, Kristi, Josh, Jennifer M, James, Mark, Markus, ** Brian **, Marshawn – I think Marshawn, James, and maybe Chris strike me as people that would have made a stronger final 6 than Felisha, Adam, and Clay.
Clay (BC)- This was a long time coming. You were about as helpful towards successful team dynamics as Goatse is to successful masterbation. I actually have someone else that I might have fired in your spot, but you did clearly deserve it. Angry, surly, and more likely to fly off the handle than Ron Artest is not an equation that will equal victory.
Boot Camp - Or, in major need of a butt-kicking, but actual physical contact isn’t allowed
Adam (BC)- Adam really has yet to do anything egregiously poorly. But, he has yet to do one great thing. While at the beginning of the year, that would have put you in the Nelyweds: Nick & Jessica category, at this point it drops you to the bottom because the time to prove yourself has long since passed. Now, you only survive at the insane whims of others.
Big Brother - Or, beginning the downward spiral into ultimately being canceled
Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica - Or, ultimately harmless and forgettable fluff in need of a shot in the arm
Felisha (BC)- Yeah, I’ll bump her up this week. While I don’t think much of the task, I think she took a weaker team and ended up with a pretty decisive victory. Although, it must be said that I hate tasks with completely subjective scoring. Sure, there could be a completely obvious winner, but when the bootee is determined through less obvious scoring than Olympic figure skating, I get a little uncomfortable.
American Idol - Or, mostly positive so far but still in major danger of falling apart when a tough theme night comes around
Rebecca (S)- Downgrade. Like people might refer to Pres. Bush, I think she is all hat and no cattle. Sure, she talks a big game in the boardroom, seems busy and productive in tasks, and has an air of awesomeness, I can’t help but feel that she is ultimately not that solid. And, I think it will show when she gets fired.
Survivor - Or, when they’re good, they are really good. But, there are enough rough spots to keep them from the top spot
Alla (S)- She claims the spot in the final 2 I previously thought would have gone to Rebecca. Alla is a little shrill and would probably increase my stress level just by being in the vicinity, but she just does well. Name a challenge and she either lead the team to victory or put up a valiant effort in a loss. I think she is going to be the Wilt Chamberlain to Randal’s Bill Russell though. Maybe a little bit better on paper, but in head to head challenges, Russell did better.
The Amazing Race - Or, the king of the hill. A well oiled machine that shows no signs of slowing down unless a taxi gets in the way
Randal (TAR)- Well, you did make a pretty big mistake, but not firing worthy. Well, if a person had a poor track record it would be. But this is Randal, the man that shines like a beacon to the lost and lonely….OK, I’m pushing it a bit much. But, this was his weakest effort and the only person that appears to approach his standing is Alla. So, he stays up top.
The Rancic-Perdew Corollary – I think Adam has to be next to go, followed by Felisha and Rebecca with Alla and Randal in the final 2. None has had the dorky edit of doom, but Adam clearly can’t win and Felisha and Rebecca just seem weaker.