Calm down, punha. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of what tdn is talking about. That’s exactly the excuse that bullies and assholes have been using for far longer than any of us have been around. “It was all in fun.” “We didn’t really want to hurt him” etc. And then the teacher turns their back and it’s all worse. That’s all he was saying. Aslan2, have you told your parents about all this? They don’t have anything to say about it either?
Why are you worried about negative publicity for your school? It’s your school officials that are allowing your mistreatment to go on. If they aren’t willing to do anything about what’s being done to you, they deserve all the bad publicity they can take.
Thank you, White Lightning. I was starting to wonder why what I said could have been so thoroughly misconstrued.
What makes the “all in fun” comment even worse is the implication that you, too, should be enjoying the abuse, and by not doing so you are some sort of killjoy.
Glad you think so It’s a long time since I was in high school, but it gave me some insights that made me feel better. I’ve saved it for future use, as I think the subject will (sadly) be coming up for a long time.
I thought living in Surrey was all about getting punched, stabbed, threatened and generally roughed up.
Sorry, Aslan2… actually, it sounds as though your best bet is to try to get transferred to another school. Unfortunately, going to the cops often makes things worse.
Holy cow, I feel really lucky and sheltered now. This stuff never happened to me in my first 12 years of education (and I don’t expect it in college either). And I’m a pretty nerdy kid myself! I don’t know if it’s the makeup of your class as a whole, or inept teachers and administrators in the system, but something’s messed up. I just want to say to Dopers that not all public schooling’s as screwed up as this thread might suggest.
tdn - Granted, telling could make the situation worse. However, it seems to me that there are only a few ways of ending this situation.
a) Aslan could leave the school. He’s already said he’d rather not.
b) Aslan could lash out in response, and hope he doesn’t get beat to shit or expelled.
c) Aslan can resort to higher authorities (in this case, most likely the law, because the school doesn’t give a damn).
C seems like the best option to me. It’ll hopefully give the bullies a good scare, without a high risk of Aslan getting in trouble. I know that tattling isn’t always the scariest thing in the world, but I think the threat of jail (or the actual experience of jail) could change their minds. Lashing out aggressively is more likely to get you in more trouble than it’s worth, tempting though it is.
Reading the descriptions of what is going on in your class has made me sick. I hope you pull through somehow. It seems that the best bet is to try taking it up with the real authorities (i.e. police and/or lawyers), and use that to scare the school and the bullies straight.
Now, I don’t recommend this, but one of my public school friends told me a tale of how one of his friends faced down a bunch of school bullies. During the middle of class during a paired exercise, one of the bullies was up to his old tricks, stealing the kid’s glasses and bending it around the nosepiece. On previous occasions, the bullies had tripped the kid in the hall, trapped him in the bathroom and spit down his shirt and pants, etc. The kid (a tall but very thin dude) at this point stood up and just started screaming that if the bullies didn’t leave him alone, he would “go columbine” on their asses, and that he didn’t care if he died in the process. He then elaborated and said how much enjoyment he would have in sticking the gun barrel down the kid’s pants and shooting, again and again. I think he then said something about how he had saved enough money to get a gun, and I think at this point, the teacher interrupted and everyone went to the principal’s office. From what I heard from my friend, the bullying stopped in extremely short order, although they did make the bullied kid go to counseling. However, I imagine he was perfectly willing to make that sacrifice…
I’m not sure whether the threat scared the bully or the principal more, but I suspect that any threat to repeat Columbine would get anyone’s attention real fast. Something like that could get someone kicked out of school for just making that threat (or so I heard on the news), but hey, it’s an out if all else fails. Threat of litigation is probably a more sane way of handling things, though…
I’m lucky that the only bullying I ever experienced came in the form of verbal insults and some kind of annoying physical stuff, like tapping me on the head with a pencil during class and stuff like that. That was during middle school where everyone was squirmy, and I didn’t really think much of it. But if I had gone through what you’re going through, aslan, I don’t know how I would have handled it. Knowing my childhood temper, I probably would have just gone berserk on them after the first or second incident. Not sure if that would have helped…
I have told my parents, and they’ve talked to principal and the counselors, but not much has been done, other than me talking to the counselors about it. None of the people have been punsihed, nor have I been offered to transfer out. I should apparently stay home, according to them.
I’m worried about the negative publicity because the last time anything violent of this sort happend, they tried to twist the schoo image into some sort of gang haven, which wasn’t true. Despite the problem mainly having to do with higher ups, it’s gonna likely affect the whole schools image f the media gets ahold of it. I don’t want to hurt the people who didn’t do anything.
I’d say the first thing to do is to get your parents on board. I’d say drastic measures are necessary. Like telling them how you hate your life or stuff like that. Tell them that you’re horribly unhappy. Almost all parents well listen up when they hear that.
Then get them to make the administration put you in the other class.
That’s my advice.
Just keep trying on your parents until it gets through.
I was wondering about the current zero-tolerance/post-Columbine atmosphere too, Windwalker. Until I got to the B.C. part.
I’d presume since the coverage was almost as comprehensive there as it was here, there might still be some way to play that card? Getting your parent’s to advocate more strongly for you is the first step, of course. They need to understand if you do play that angle so they aren’t taken by surprise if and when you do. I wouldn’t suggest making any threats to anyone, but expressing to your principal thoughts that you can ‘empathize/understand with those kids who shot up Columbine’ or something along those lines might well shock them out of their complacency long enough for them to start hearing you.
The same as talking about going to the media/an attourney might get them listening, hopefully. If those things don’t work you might well have to contact either the media or a lawyer, but if your districts are anything like ours right now, they are far too sensitive to ignore threats like that.
You’re quite right that if you don’t do something now, the situation will be miserable for the rest of your school career. I had an art teacher in junior high who’s class was a total zoo, also. My method of coping was to giantly suck up and become a teachers pet but that’s not an option here.
Like everyone’s said, it will end eventually, but meanwhile you still have to endure and optimally be able to learn something, so you really can’t wait for ‘eventually’ to happen. You’ve got to find a way that you can live with that will make this stop. You seem incredibly smart and mature, much more than I was at your age, I have faith that you’ll find a way to essentially outsmart the system that appears stacked against you right now.
Don’t worry about the school’s image! It seems like it’s a big deal but it’s really not. Being thought of as a gang-haven won’t affect you or your friends at all. But it WILL make administration scramble to make changes.
Seriously, DON’T let this continue. You are better than these people. The bullies, the administration, everyone!
You don’t even have to go through with the media. Just threaten it. Tell them, “If I don’t get put in that other class I’m going to go to the media with this issue.”
Right now they don’t care about you or your problem. They won’t care, ever. That’s because they’re stupid, ignorant people. What you need to do is make ignoring you harder than solving the problem. As long as you can be brushed aside without effort they’ll continue to do so. But if it’s easier to just stick you in the other class then that’s what’ll happen.
Well, it might be a good solution elsewhere, but here they’d often joke abot how I’d “be voted most likeliest to go columbine on us” (:rolleyes: I wonder why). They could also claim that I was threatening them with violence, which I would be doing.
Nitek, I’ve told my parents multiple times. I’ve told them multiple times, however the last time I told them I hated my life I was put on medication, which effected me very negatively. I guess I’ll tell them that I have plans to sue if it continues next year.
To all those who suggest media attention: I will threaten it, but if it were to come down to the point where I would have to do it, I don’t think I could. Sorry.
It’s a Canadian-based group and there are some good links (check out “Helpful Resources” and then the links at the top).
My only advice…make some friends outside of school. Maybe even on the internet. There are some support groups on the net (also see links in the above site) that might be able to help.
And even though it might not feel like it now, someday this too shall pass. Life will get better. You seem like an intelligent, thoughtful person, so I imagine that even though the present sucks, the future will be bright.
And one other thing – these “pack” mentalities are often just that, groups of assholes acting that way to impress their friends. But they are still individuals. If there is any way you can talk to them – one-on-one – you might find one nice guy in there who will stick up for you.
Aslan, are there any martial arts schools in your area? If so, I highly recommend that you check them out and go to one. I personally went to a tae kwon do studio. You would be amazed at the things martial artists can do. I’m not even very good and can perform some neat board breaks, high kicks, and the like.
Aslan, I was 34 when I enrolled. I too went through a lot of shit in high school. I hated it. hated it. hated. it. Even today I don’t physically fight but I have to stop myself from thinking that someone is attacking me personally.
I recommend martial arts not for the physical but the mental training you should receive. The physical is only a secondary benefit (a good one I might add). The mental benefit is the accomplishments that you will achieve in the art and the self-confidence. And if you learn some self-defense along the way, so much the better.
Maybe this won’t get you out of your present situation of 10v1, but I’m telling you it will help. My instructor had training in this area. How to help bullied kids. She even went to my son’s school for a demonstration to help him out.
My son also went to tae kwon do. He was having a bad time at school. I did not want the same thing to happen to him so I enrolled him. He got into a fight with one of the bullies. A teacher stopped it real quick but he was pretty well left alone after that.
Please note, I do not think if you join that you tell people “Hey man don’t mess with me, I know karate”. Because you will get your ass kicked. I rarely tell anyone.
Again, you need something to rebuild your confidence. If martial arts do not work for you find something.
Good luck as I have been there and done that and it ain’t no fun.
Aslan, I think it would be within your rights to request an “independent study” for that art class. It seems your school cannot or will not provide you with a safe environment in that classroom. Other steps which you might take could put you at further risk for harrassment. It’s not fair for you to have to drop the class, however.
It seems to me they ought to allow you to do your art work in another room, on your own. If they claim they can’t let you work “unsupervised” try hard not to wet your pants laughing, since the supervision you’re getting in the class now is hardly effective.
I think that’s a very good solution, CrankyAsAnOldMan. I’ll request that when I have my art class next year. Or I could possibly be put in the other art teacher’s class, since their is only two of them. so it’s a 50/50 chance I get her again. If I do get her, I’ll ask for a private study.
It’s a long time since I was in high school, but it gave me some insights that made me feel better. I’ve saved it for future use, as I think the subject will (sadly) be coming up for a long time.