It could also have been Trois- Frères, which is where the famous Sorcerer is, but I find Lascaux more impressive.
I’d probably just choose the most grotesque, puerile, tacky, kitschy, chintzy, unsettling, transgressive, and/or deliberately offensive pieces of visual art I could imagine. (I know one, specifically, that I’d definitely get in trouble for linking to, would probably get in trouble for even naming, and I’m frankly leery of even having the title in my search history, with or without a VPN)
My reasoning? Well, if humanity has decided to turn it’s back on visual art, if even only for a period, sticking ME in the role of the Only Sane Man? Hell, did the ARTS falter by themselves by failing to stand up for their place in existence? Fine—then let them lay in it. Let 'em have a nice fat Albatross to bear.
Let’s have 50% of the surviving religious artwork of the entire human race be splattered with elephant dung. The last remaining, and thus by default most magnificent equestrian painting be Der Bannertrager. And, for the smallest, tantalizing whisper of contrast, the most gentle, heartfelt, benign attempt to capture a moment of genuine peace and beauty will be by Thomas Kinkade. And feature Mickey Mouse.
Look upon your works, ye tiny, and despair.
Paintings
- The Starry Night/Van Gogh
- Guernica/Picasso
- At the Moulin Rouge/Toulouse Lautrec
- Persistence of Memory/Dali
- Cherubs/Raphael
- Dancers on the Stage/Degas
Sculpture
7) Gates of Hell/Rodin
Photos
8) Dali Atomicus/Halsman
9) Victory over Japan/Jorgenson
10) Something from “A Child is Born.”
Worth mentioning that the caves at Chauvet have been immortalised by Werner Herzog in his excellent documentary “Cave of Forgotten Dreams”. Well worth watching, not least because the public are simply not allowed in and a high-def depiction is the closest any of us are going to get.
Dali? His Christ crucifixions. My boyfriend said he saw one in a NYC museum and he out of nowhere burst into tears. (He said it was a lot smaller than you would think)…My daughter also cried upon seeing a Van Gogh.
I stopped by to thank everyone who submitted their list of items. What an erudite crowd!
I read through the list and agree with several of them (particularly, Boticelli’s Birth of Venus, which is my first choice for a painting and Guernica).
I don’t think anyone has mentioned:
- Laocoon and his sons.
- Terra Cotta Warrior (just an example, I won’t bend the rules pretending we can save them all).
- Michellangelo’s David
I think the Antikythera Mechanism is a scientific object more than an artwork, so I assume it will not be endangered by the artpocalypse.
I’ve seen a few Rothkos over the years. I thought of him as a talentless hack that the art world bought into. Then I read a book about Rothko in a museum gift shop. It had some stunningly beautiful and touching paintings. I was blown away. Then I realized, he didn’t paint any of them. Purportedly, they were paintings that had inspired him. He must have been disappointed that he couldn’t even simulate his heroes’ talent. He was indeed a talentless hack.
