I remember I was showing my photography work at a gallery and I got chatting to some old man art journalist. He told me that every photograph was a piece of art. So I asked, “even my Mum’s snaps with her iPhone?” Yes, he replied before he started enthusing about some imaginary line in one of my photographs that I had never noticed or intended.
I subsequently came to realise that the art world is just a bunch of people waving their dicks around. There are entire careers and schools dedicated to teaching people how to wave their dicks, ensuring that most dick wavers aren’t even flapping them about in any original manner. Furthermore, and this is by fay the most important point, the overwhelming majority of dick wavers are waving their dicks only at the other dick wavers. No one else cares. Every now and then the general public notice an enormously big dick and it attracts some attention for a while. Occasionally someone gets an award for waving their dick in a fancy or controversial manner. That’s it. That’s the entire art world: a bunch of dicks waving their dicks.
I recommend this pitting to the house.
Edit: I may have overused a restricted word here. If I have crossed a line I apologise, but it was somewhat central to my soliloquy.