The Atomic Light Angel (security light)

I was reading the box for this thing since they had them next to the checkout at Walmart along with the “Room air conditioner” that runs off a USB port.

The box claims it is “Astonishingly BRIGHT!” and “The brightest security light you will ever own”. It is 460 lumens. A traditional 60 watt bulb is 800 lumens. My biggest flood light can use a 11000 lumen bulb.

So how can they make that claim? One of the most common complaints in the reviews is for dim light. Dennis

There’s a sucker born every day.

Caution: Advertising claims not always accurate…

Snark aside, this how modern advertising works: you own multiple brighter security lights, but do you own a brighter “Security Light”? Or, lots of folks don’t own a security light at all, so, when they buy this one…ta-da! Brightest security light! Or, perhaps worst of all, “we were making a claim that obviously was hyperbolic, no Reasonable Person would think we were actually selling a light that bright!”.

Not that any of this is really new for advertising as a field, but still…

One thing with LEDs set up to shine all in the same direction is that in that direction they can be really bright. So bright you do not want to look at them.

I’ve got one of the freebie Harbor Freight LED work lights and I quickly learned to never look right into it.

Incandescents emit light in a near sphere without a reflector. Floodlights do a bit better. So basically comparing apples and oranges when it comes to total lumens.

So the issue is how much light is being directed in the area you want covered? Just a small porch, it’ll do. A whole yard? Not so much.

A neighbor down the block and across the street (maybe 600 feet away) has a motion-activated security light. It is so actinicly annoying. If I am outside in my side yard, and a car drives by, it trips the sensor, and the blinding LEDs come on so brightly that I can see my shadow. I feel like introducing him to the concept of light trespass.

Pretend to beDave

I want a motion-detection system that combines a brilliant strobe light, a stentorian voice saying “THERE’S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR!!!”, loud music playing from rooftop speakers (the closing credits theme from “Rocky and Bullwinkle” would be optimal) and fireworks of the Roman candle variety.

I may have to engineer that myself.

We have friends whose neighbor has horrifically bright motion-activated yard lights. Anytime we stop over, when the lights come on I shout, “JAIL BREAK, JAIL BREAK, WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP”.

The neighbor has mentioned to him that he does not find my screams the least bit funny, yet I have vowed to continue my annoying response to their annoying lights.