Comic book superheroes, I’ve found, fulfill through art one of the most deep-seated desires in the human collective subconscious: the ability to lift very heavy things.
Perhaps no better example is Superman—capable of, apparently according to recent comics, lifting 5.972 sextillion metric tons. And presumably while flying.
Jesus. :eek:
But, let’s leave the exact gargantuan numbers aside for the moment to concentrate on another issue—say Superman wanted to move something slightly more manageable, like a couple of hundred thousand tons of ice, or about half a million tons of ship. The problem is—assuming here for the sake of argument that Superman isn’t projecting a telekinetic “forcefield” to envelop and lift objects—that objects of that mass typically wouldn’t, as I understand, have the structural integrity to withstand all their weight being supported on the comparatively tiny area of a human body.
It’d be like trying to support a ripe watermelon on the tip of a needle.
But still, there’s nothing like a good technical challenge, especially for these boards…so what WOULD be the best way for a “Superman” type character—i.e. superhumanly strong, can “fly” by levitating himself, and is invulnerable to harm—to move massively oversized cargo, without destroying it? What kind of special equipment or technique might they need?
And no, “cut it into smaller pieces to move” doesn’t count. Unless you’re actually calculating the largest “smaller piece” a Superman would be able to lift, which would still vary by material.
So…anyone want to take a crack at this one? Preferably before my allergy medication wears off and I realize just how silly this was to post? :smack:
Superman also can move extremely fast, so he could fly all around the surface of the object exerting fractional force at thousands of different points to balance the force. Imagine thousands of needles on the watermelon, cycling their forces thousands of times per second. I haven’t worked out if the math of this idea works, but it’s food for thought.
Unfortunately, we would then have to explain how Superman can defy the laws of physics to fly at all.
Build an Orion Drive style “pusher plate”, the sort that’s supposed to convert a nuclear explosion into forward motion. Then, Superman can use super-breath to make the thing move instead of an explosion. Or he can toss a rock in front of himself and punch it so hard it explodes with nuclear level force and drives the plate forward.
Step one: Wrap the thing in a plastic sheet.
Step two: Fill a huge, triangular tub with enough water to float the object.
Step three: Carry the triangle by the point, like a giant Sno-Cone.
Moving ships would be even easier; no need for the shrink wrap.
Aren’t we still left with the problem that all the weight of the object and water plus the cone itself would have to be supported at the tip of the cone on a contact patch of maybe 65 square inches?
Another problem is balance. If the load is very wide it’s going to be effectively balanced on a pin point (and that’s assuming Superman can pick it up near it’s center of gravity). Even a tiny force like air drag is going to send that load all over the place, and the torque required to stabilize it would probably pulverize the point of contact. Superman is going to have the same problems as you or I would have trying to pick up a giant piece of styrofoam.
Iceberg.
Push the iceberg in the sea (ice has no issue with compression).
When close to land, start punching / melting it to make it round.
Roll it over the land, just like when you make a snowman.
Ship.
Grub it by the “nose”, or other strong point.
Start spinning it around yourself, like a hammer athlete would.
Throw it in the air towards where it needs to be.
Fly faster faster than the ship.
Grub it gently, and slow down it’s descent.
And that’s our lesson for today children.
Tomorrow we will learn how to move a mountain,
and how to displace an ocean.
Mountain.
Give Earth a half, or a quarter, or whatever necessary, spin, by blowing at it.
Due to inertia the mountain will detach itself from the earth.
Instead of moving the mountain, you will move the Earth underneath.
Just like when you drag a tablecloth with glasses on it.
This technique is hard to master.
It is like Rubik’s cube.
Takes good calculations, and more than one tries to put things in the right order.
You might want to practice with Mars first.
Ocean.
And how do we move an Oceans?
That’s easy children.
You just drink it all,
and then piss it to its new location.
I’ve always wondered about the surface Superman is standing on when he lifts something really heavy. Say he picked up an elephant while standing on the street. Say it was a fairly light elephant that only weighed 3 tons. Now he’s got 3 tons pressing on the street from his relatively small feet. Why doesn’t the street crumble under his feet?
Back after Crisis on Infinite Earths, an effort was made to make Supes a bit more believable. Basically, they gave him telekinesis. His flying is due to his ability to psychically move himself through the air or space. When he lifts extremely large objects, he actually lifts them partially telekinetically, reinforcing the object so it doesn’t crumple due to being supported on a small point at a weird angle. His invulnerability is from a a telekinetic shield that surrounds his body and extends outwards by about a 1/4 of an inch. (This had the added benefit of allowing the writers to remove the invulnerable uniform from continuity. Now the costume is just normal cloth, but sits inside his personal shielding.)
ETA: Of course all this happens without conscious thought. Supes doesn’t intentionally evoke his telepathic prowess, it just happens. Incidentally, it was this aspect that introduced the “tactile telekinesis” power that the post-Crisis Superboy had.
Thank you BigT. I actually read MrKnowItAll’s response 3 days ago, which explained it very well. I do appreciate your fast response to my question, though.
And thank you MrKnowItAll. I haven’t seen/read any superman stuff in a while, so I’m pretty ignorant on the changes.
