The bestest way to read news articles

Specifically cnn.com’s recent article on Minutemen missiles. Far be it from me to quote the entire article, though …

Minuteman missile returns to historic site
…downtown Moscow.

Politicians have lauded the project. Sen. Tim Johnson, D-S.D., has said the site would preserve the historic role of South Dakota residents and Ellsworth AFB in winning the Cold War.
Let’s hear it for those SD residents, who fought off Russians daily with their amazing acceptance of nuclear missiles in their backyards.

But the prospect of a Cold War theme park has alarmed some residents and anti-nuclear groups.
I’d stand in line for two hours to ride the nuclear bomb like in Dr Strangelove.
And I guess it’s okay if they use the Fallout cartoon guy to point out where the restrooms are.

“It was plumb goofy,” Kammerer said of the arms race.
“Plumb goofy” sounds like a Disney-based adult party game which I do not want to play, ever. Furthermore, now I can’t get the image of Goofy saying “hyuk, hyuk” while playing this game out of my mind.

My god, I feel so violated right now…