I just re-watched Casino Royale last week and I’ve developed a theory. Now bear with me on this one … it’s a bit of a mind-wrap.
The torture scene … the one that makes every man cross his legs tightly and gasp a little … you know the one I’m talking about: Jimmy Bond get’s a rope smacked across the ol’ greunies.
Here’s why I think that scene matters. This film is essentially the beginning of Bond. It is presented as James Bond’s first real mission … from the beginning scenes of M giving him the business about whether he is ready or not. Now … even though the movie is set contemporaneously, we have to consider all the past Bond flicks, wherein 007 is seasoned – *not *on his first mission. Think of all the chicks he’s banged. Has anyone of them gotten pregnant? Not that we know of, so I’m going to go right out on a limb and say, no … no baby-mama’s for Jim.
And why is that?
Because on his first big mission he took a rope-knot to the junk.
See? The man is now infertile. His eggs were scrambled. He’s shootin’ blanks. He’s got nothing to offer to the circle of life, besides dying.
And that’s why James Bond doesn’t have kids.
Who’s with me on this one? My family thinks I’m touched in the head, not the least of which is because I tend to spend to much time thinking about James Bonds nuts.