"The Bottoms"

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Coupla questions for ya, Uke. I read this book a week or so ago, and they’re two things buggin’ me.

First, what’s with the bolded words? There’s three words, and only three (all of 'em in the first section, I believe), that are bolded. Yes, they are words that would naturally be emphasized given the context, but why only these three? Many others throughout the text are also emphasized and could be bolded.

Second, what happened to the wheelbarrow? When the kids cross the swinging bridge the first time, they had the wheelbarrow with 'em to carry the dog. Obviously, they had to leave it (the wheelbarrow, not the dog) behind to cross the rope bridge, but it’s never mentioned again. The scene changes from the approach the bridge, in which the wheelbarrow is specifically mentioned, to the crossing of the bridge, which totally ignores the absence of the wheelbarrow. I’d think the kids should be worried about what Dad’s gonna say when they return without it; they were certainly very concerned about what he was gonna say for returning late, among other things. They also return to the location where apparently they left wheelbarrow more than once in the subsequent events with no mention of it.

Good book, though. Very compelling tale. Landsdale is a damned fine story teller. I’m glad I read it. The rest of you should read it, too. Assuming you enjoy mysteries, or even simply a good yarn.

One un-related question for you while I’m thinking about mystery stories. There was a series written in the fifties (the stories also took place in the fifties), I guess I’d call 'em “detective stories,” that were located in New England—Massachusetts, if I’m not mistaken. The protagonist of this series was a photographer for a newspaper and was kinda like a Mike Hammer-type guy, except a lot less testosterone; he was a more refined, or suave, if you will. This guy loved big band jazz and knew food. The books were all written in the first person, too, if that helps. I wish I could remember more, like the name of the photographer, or something, but I can’t. Does this sound familiar to you? Or anyone else?

2

And here I thought it was a sad tale of a pimpled posterior or you were outta beer (Nawwwwwwwww!!!)

3

This thread did not live up to its title.

I am saddened.

4

I thought it was about …um, well, nevermind.

5

You guys keep your minds off my ass; you’ve obviously scared Uke away.

6

<ts wanders in, reads the first line and half of the second…>

::quick scan for dirty words…nothing::

<whistling, ts wanders off, perhaps back to work, but probably not>

7

[Otto]Man, that’s just blatant false advertising![/Otto]

8

Shit. One last try and then I’m gonna have to come to your office and make ya cough up the dope. Uke yer making me bump my own damn thread. I hate that.

9

Heh heh heh…just wanted to see if you’d do it.

(Ordinarily, threads about UncleBeer’s ass draw me like flies to honey.)

Lansdale is an odd case as a writer. My editing was done on a third-generation photocopy of the original ms., and I tried to change his bolded words to italics. (He was using bolding to stress certain words which are more likely to be italicized in the final pages.) Looks like I missed some…they might not have looked bold to me in the copy. Of course, Joe didn’t change them either when he went over the proofs, but he may have liked them bolded, so anyway, Mea culpa.

As for the wheelbarrow, it was stolen. You know the old story, don’t you?

Each day, a man came out of the factory near quitting time, pushing a bright red wheelbarrow. As many rare and valuable items were produced at the factory, the guards viewed him with suspicion and were careful to search him and the wheelbarrow daily for stolen goods. They never found anything.

Twenty years later, one of the guards sees the same man stepping out of a limousine outside a posh hotel, wearing an expensive suit and with an expensive blonde on either arm. He goes up to the man and says “We always knew you were stealing, but we could never catch you at it. Tell me, now that I’m long past caring about catching you, just how you did it?”

“Simple,” says the man. “I was stealing wheelbarrows.”

10

Uke - you edit at Mysterious Press? You know Joe?

Wow. That is so cool.

I’m in a Lansdale reading group, and Joe has offered to answer questions. UncleBeer, would you like me to submit a question about the wheelbarrow?

I suspect he just forgot about it. Chapter 2 was mostly the kids and the dog moving from place to place, and with all those obstacles (the river, the bridge, the undergrowth) to describe, Joe just lost track.

After re-reading Chapter 2, I looked all over for my copy of “999”, to see if Joe did the same thing with the wheelbarrow in “Mad Dog Summer” (the short story that became “The Bottoms”), but then I remembered I loaned the damned thing and it never came back.

11

Geez, AuntieP, I was waiting for you to notice…

Want me to just phone Joe up and ask him about the damn wheelbarrow? Or I could look in MY copy of 999.

(I expect he’ll say he forgot about it. I like MY answer better. This is where the Editor comes in, shielding the Author from harm.)

12

Yeah, Uke, your answer was better.

Nope, don’t ask Joe on my account. Don’t wanna embarrass the guy.

Speaking of 999, Joe’s story was the only reason I bought it in the first place.

The woman who lost my copy replaced it with three Edward Lee books. That was a nice gesture, but it’s like someone wrecking your car and offering the loan of their bicycle. A rusty one with flat tires even.

I’d heard about Lee from some message boards and reading groups – that he’s an up and coming voice in the horror field yadda yadda. I had heard enough that I didn’t care to read the books, but curiosity got the best of me, and I read Bighead. I read it furtively, and then wondered who else was reading these books and for pete’s sake, why?

I didn’t read the other two (Header and Portrait of the Psychopath as a Young Woman) and traded them for two David Martins (Flying Heart Tattoo and Beginning of Sorrows).

I don’t understand books like this. I don’t get why people write them or read them. They’re just so perverse, and even worse, I think they’re written for shock value, to get attention.

Rant over.

13

ehehehe ehehe ehe he he eheheheh…Uncle Beer said “bottoms”…