So you’ve paid out all you hard earned money for one. Maybe you’ve stolen one. Maybe your work allow you to use one. Either way it will fuck up.
Why? Because they’re shit.
“But computers only do what you tell them” I hear you cry.
WRONG. They do what they want to do in order to piss me off the most. Just me as well; it’s a conspiracy! I can see them laughing at me.
The one next to me just wasted my whole Monday. I can never get that back you know!
Anyways, Hello.
My works computer fucked up and won’t let me go to my old forums any more so I’ve moved on to pastures new (and maybe greener?)
As for the threat of destuction. I’ve tried it and it just laughs in my face. I can feel it now, waiting to randomly shut down my browser just before I finish typing.
snickers No, computers do what the programmers tell them to do, even if they didn’t mean to tell them to do that. Users are at their mercy.
[Behind the scenes look at computers]
Programmer: “So, when the user presses enter, randomly pick from a) entering the data properly, b) screwing up their files, and/or c) printing out random garbage (including any porno pics the user has) to the networked printer that resides right next to the CEO’s office.”
Computer: “Sure.”
(Cut to user tapping ‘enter’)
Computer: prints out random files, sticks porno in data file
User: WTF?!?!?
fade to black, with the programmer’s laughter ringing through the air “Teach them to mock me and my uber-nerdness!”
[End behind the scenes]
(Oh, and welcome to the boards.)
<<------------ The information went data way!!! ------------>>
The computer is your friend.
The computer loves you.
Please smile when using the computer.
Any unhappiness is a sign of rebellion.
Rebels will be cured of their rebellious nature.
Remember, the computer loves you.
See, the trick is to have many computers in the same space. The moment one shows any sign of weakness, I proclaim in a loud voice “well, looks like one of you isn’t cutting it!” and then take an axe to it while humming Carmina Burana.
I swear, it’s just like getting and upgrade! The others are so terrified that they work faster and harder.
James Burke had a video series about technology which culminated in asking, “Do we continue to accept more and changing technology?” If yes, we would have more of and larger problems of the type the series covered. If we decided not to accept more tech… (cue a very disturbing sequence of various pieces of technology being smashed, with an axe, to Carmina Burana.)
