50% of Americans are below average.
25% of Americans are deeply troubled by that statistic.
25% of Americans make money off of it.
80% of that 25% are elected officials.
And the other 20% think my penis needs to be big enough to reach Nigeria.
The Universe’s vital statistics:
Population: 0
Landmass: 0 miles
GDP: $0.00
You don’t exist. Go away.
A % , if devided into percents would equal three equal parts, the little zero, the big diagonal slash, which is nothing more that a little zero with a properly executed plan, and yet one more little zero, thus leaving us with a sense of wonder.
35% of Texans believe that George Bush is still their governor as well President of the U.S.
39% of NHL players were glad that the season was cancelled because they were tired of all the fighting.
58% of Male Democrats admit to masturbating to Photoshopped images of Hillary Clinton posted on the internet.
97% of the world population knows what the speed of light is, if expressed in furlongs per fortnight.
The average Canadian has one testicle, whereas the average 'Mercan will shoot you before they figure out the joke.
Meanwhile, 79.4% of Frenchwomen (and those of the fairer sex) eat 92.3% of all the 12.333% milkfat cheese produced in 66.5% of Europe by 79% of one-legged cheesemakers that isn’t eaten by 87.2% of the Belgians in 75% of recent fiscal quarters for which statistics have been made up.
And this alarming statistic just in; 99.9% of all statistics used in news stories will be referred to as ‘alarming’! Back to you, Jane…
The sum of the area of the four sides of the Great Pyramid of Giza is equal to precisely 1/3 of the population of Burbank, California divided by the distance between Ayer’s Rock, Australia, and the site of the oringal Bob’s Big Boy, as measured North by Northwest, thereby conclusively proving that Steve Jobs is, in fact, a marmoset.
100% of the visits to the Marianas Trench were made in 1960. For 33.333% of an hour.
When asked to describe the effect of a dog biting you on the arse:
43% of Americans would flail their arms
2% of Belgians would run in a circle
72% of Dopers would burn said dog
87% of those born in may of 1973 and who currently reside in the most north-western town on Wisconsin agree: “Wiggidy-flapparoo!”
60% of the time statistics are accurate EVERY time.
82% of people consider themselves to be of above average intelligence
And the other 32% just don’t care.
95% of American athletes believe that to give it your all you must give 110%.
Lawyers only win 50% of their cases.
While the odds of getting struck by lightning are 700,000 to 1, those odds are much worse if you are standing in an electrical storm with a golf club over your head.
Sharks kill dozens of people every year. People kill thousands of people every year. If you need me, I’ll be in the water.
“Crimes such as Vadelism are down 60%, but cimes such as heavy sack beatings are up an amazing 900%!”
“Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anytihng…forty percent of all prople know that.”
Of persons born in 1839 who ate pickles, there is not a single survivor. -Playboy Magazine
An alarmingly high percentage of people in India…(dramatic pause)…are Indians. Not only that, but if you rub your tires with fazznfronstin nnn, you’ll get 30% more pernagliuffdgrmpal than fworblgumpsn nn and save money too. -Cliff Nazarro, deservedly obscure 1940s comedian
Just in, 4 out of 5 doctors leaves 1 doctor.
The approval rating for this thread will drop by an astounding 36% following this post. This estimate is based on a telephone survey of 1013 randomly selected international heads of government. The confidence level of this statistic is 95% of being within +/- 3%.
When asked if ignorance was caused by stupidity or apathy, 50% replied “I don’t know” and the other responders replied 'I don’t care."
The average penis is 5.1 inches long.
The average vagina is 7.5 inches deep.
There is approximatly 5,666 miles of untapped pussy in the continental U.S. alone.
0% of posts before this one have said: BAND NAME!