The Bureau of Spontaneously Made-Up Statistics

Inspired by this post. Thanks, Stranger!
The Bureau of Spontaneously Made-Up Statistics has determined that fully 82% of Dopers reading this thread will be not be inspired to post a spontaneously made-up statistic of their own. Are you one of them?

3.14159265% of all pies are not round.

4 out of every 20% of responders that respond to threads in which the OP said 82% of em wouldn’t, will, just to show the OP. So There! :stuck_out_tongue:

There is a 6.66% probability of one or more of the following terms finding its way into this thread:

Penis ensues
Hi Opal
Marianas Trench
1920s style death ray

Regarding this bar graph:

| X |
| X |
| X | X |
| X | X |
| X | X | X |
| X | X | X |
| X | X | X |
Column C represents 35% of the population.
Column B represents 63% of the population.
And Column A represents no less than 95% of the population!

I’m not a big fan of statistics because I’ve heard that 64% of all statistic cited are made up right there on the spot. So I’m not gonna post any here.

13,838,816 people voted for Pat Buchanan

12% of the world population is unable to be spontaneous.

7% of them can’t even spell spontaneous.

A probability which goes up to 100% if you list the terms in question.

On average, people have 1.9 arms, 1.9 legs, and 1 head.

1 out of 5 dentists is really really stubborn.

.06% of Ivory soap ain’t pure.

72% of Americans have not found it necessary to hide a body.
39 out of 52 Robitussin drinkers report being abducted by UFOs.

12.79% of all Dopers have had to clean their computer screen after reading a post.

5.8% have had to have the Hemlich manuever performed.

44% of all fake statistics use the number 44.

15% of my day is spent doing 85% of the work that should be done by 100% of the rest of the group.

sausagety-balloon% of statistics are just plain silly.

2/13 of all practicing Zoroastrians report that they “subscribe to more than seven bimonthly publications”.

Bananas are 24% more likely to be used as a sex toy than cucumbers.

92.3% of all giant robot mecha with flamethrowers driven by attractive 14-year old girls with troubled pasts say that they watch “more than 34 hours of television per week”.

Lobsang is 45% more likely to die from falling off a cliff in Australia than to be shot with a Neutronium bullet by a crazy assassin from the future who wants to prevent Lobsang’s son from being born and defeating the Shmeeb party candidate in the 2056 election for Grand Imperiator of North Dakota.

15 people accidentally voted for Pope Innocent III in the last presidential election.

82% of statistics are compiled by researchers with a strong grasp of mathematics.
24% are not.

There are two kinds of people: Those who divide people into groups, those who don’t, and those who don’t give a dam one way or the other.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand the binary system and those that don’t.

99.99% of all made up statistics are completely false.

A survey contains a question such as “How many miles is it from your home to the school?”

90% of all answers that end in 0’s or 5’s are guesstimates.

On the other hand 80% of answers ending in portions of a mile (such as 1.7) are more precise that the answerer can truly justify. (In other words, they are mock precise guesstimates).

5% of all respondants will give an answer in blocks, minutes or other units of measure difficult to convert into miles.