WHEREAS the plaintiff, hereafter known as the Mayor of Hamelin, declares that the defendant, one P. Piper, has absconded with one or more non-adult inhabitants of said town of Hamelin;
AND, whereas the defendant declares that as he was continuously playing his PIPE with both hands, he cannot have coerced or assaulted children in the alleged way;
AND, as the defendant declares that the children followed him of their own free will;
AND, where the Court has determined that the Mayor of Hamelin is guilty of a separate unrelated offense of Breach of Contract for with regard to the elimination of several Rats;
THIS COURT sends the jury to deliberate on the case at hand: is the defendant, having allegedly evacuated Hamelin with six hundred children in his thrall AND having allegedly evacuated Hamelin in the company of unnumbered thousands of unlicensed vermin, guilty of Assault and Rattery? What, if any charges, should apply?